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You can’t make this sh*t up!
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When I was 14, my parents got stationed in Belize for 4 years. Our first summer there, my older brother came down from the States to visit. One day, we took my parents’ Zodiac boat on the Belmopan River. The river snaked through a very dense and remote jungle, and we didn’t see even one human being for hours, just the occasional manatee. I still can’t believe my parents let us do this, because if we would have gotten into any kind of trouble, it would have taken them months to find us. I don’t know what ever possessed me, but at one point, I stood up and started singing a Creole song about Sandra, a big-bottomed Belizean girl who liked to shake her sizeable booty while dancing. “If Sandra wants to wind, let her wind, let her wind (pronounced like “whined), if Sandra wants to wind, let her shake up her big behind!” This of course, was paired with my own “interpretive dance” of the song, cause hey-nobody was around for miles, right? I started to feel free, empowered, one with the jungle- my body was pulsing; I started to whip my hair around with unfettered abandon……..
Suddenly, and inexplicably, dozens of howler monkeys appeared in the mangrove trees above us and started furiously screeching and violently shaking the branches at us. This was bad enough, but we sped up the boat and then they started chasing us down the river, angrily throwing rotten plantains at us! It was pretty scary, and we thought they were going to start leaping onto the boat.
This is the main reason why I never considered a career as a singer.
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20 Responses to “You can’t make this sh*t up!”
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July 18th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
i wanna try it too!!! LOL
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July 19th, 2008 at 12:38 am
LOL oh Margo!!! i laughed hard. and i found your comment above even more funny
“there was no way we were going to out run the monkeys!” -> LOL
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July 19th, 2008 at 9:49 am
This story sounds almost more scary than funny! At least they threw rotten fruit and not their poo– can you tell howlers are not my favourite animals? Probably not yours either… I think they were jealous of your singing voice, because they know nobody likes to listen to them!
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July 19th, 2008 at 11:50 am
This is one of the best stories ever, lol.
Can I like it for my eternal enjoyment??
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August 21st, 2008 at 9:21 am
HAHAHAHAHA this is soo funny, sounds like something I would do and regret with treats from monkeys. Keep up the terrific story telling.
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September 6th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
Thanks for the nice feedback!
You know, I started writing a screenplay about a TCK in Belize years ago, but I put it down because I was dealing with some life drama at the time. I have been so inspired by the stories on this site that I have started working on it again. So far, I have a beginning, an end, and no middle. Posting my nutty stories on tckid has really motivated me to finish it. We really do see life from a unique angle!
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September 7th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
aww.. margo,
are you planning on publishing the story at some point? i would love to hear more of your stories. you really have a talent in describing the memorable event which makes vivid the imaginations live in action in my mind
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September 7th, 2008 at 7:46 pm
Margo…did you also write the “Randy” story?? You crack me up, girl, lol…
I have a new friend from Belize. I am sure he would get a kick out of this story…
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September 9th, 2008 at 6:15 pm
MsMerising,
Yes, I did write the “Randy” story! I am going to write down some more of my cultural misadventures, and post them on tckid. I do have a lot of them swimming around in my head. Maybe Miyon is right-if I get enough good ones together perhaps I should try and find a publisher. In the meantime, look for posts from Margo (aka Buttercup) and let me know what you think of my posts!
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September 9th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
@ MARGO
Indeed. I would buy your book because I love a good story. I would also travel with you in a HEARTBEAT, lol.
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