Enjoy the comments, wish we know there is place for ICK community in midwest America. This could have help our family in late 1990 as we return from Mission service.

A few of these comments make the definition of TCK sound as if TCKs are de facto economically wealthy or with links to an economically wealthy culture. There are millions of TCK who are not economically privileged and whose families do not form part of expat commnities who go around in CD plates or who have strong support back home such as missionaries. Some families are forced against their will to survive in cultures that are not their own. I don't think they are very much represented in the TCK community. Sure they don't have the same voice (their experience is not endless plane flights, "international" schools, etc - think long term refugees, etc.) Maybe some kind open-minded TCK could be a voice for them.

A few of these comments make the definition of TCK sound as if TCKs are de facto economically wealthy or with links to an economically wealthy culture. There are millions of TCK who are not economically privileged and whose families do not form part of expat commnities who go around in CD plates or who have strong support back home such as missionaries. Some families are forced against their will to survive in cultures that are not their own. I don't think they are very much represented in the TCK community. Sure they don't have the same voice (their experience is not endless plane flights, "international" schools, etc - think long term refugees, etc.) Maybe some kind open-minded TCK could be a voice for them.

A LOT!!!

first of all, it has to do with your parents' jobs. (i'm a diplomat/airline brat so that says it all..) what does that leave me? AMENITIES! TRAVEL TRAVEL TRAVEL! learn about different cultures! get airline discounts!
ahhaha.. most people envy/hate me for having all kinds of advantages like these.. but i hate it when people take advantage of me being "rich" and privileged. Embassies/Consulates/Airports are like my second home. hahaha.

Memories with your family and might as well with friends.

Oh and you don't feel guilty watching those "foreign" tv shows that you "can't stand"..

and yes, when you're far away from your parents, you get to be quite independent at the most.

You tend to just wander off almost anywhere!!!

TabithaB: Good one. It makes such a huge difference when you go to a new city and you know someone there to show you where all the good restaurants are for example. Otherwise you're a tourist and it will be all hit & miss.

For fun, I asked my close non-tck friend ``what´s best about being a tck``.
This is what she said:
``TCKs have friends all over the world and whenever they travel they can drop by and say hi. The world is open to them.``
I totally agree :)- that´s one out of many reasons why I love being a TCK.

Several "bests"....

Our meta-view, the Big Picture we are aware of because of two things that happen simultaneously: our scope of the world has become enlarged *and* the world itself has become 'smaller', the perspective we have of it... and how all this translates in our consciousness and reality...

Our intercultural nature...the worldly outlook we gain...the fascination with each other...the *fun*...the appreciation of our differences....

A mission available to us (if we choose to accept it!) is the Wounded Healer archetype...which might not sound so great on the surface, except for the fact that there is no better healer on this earth than the Wounded Healer. They are the most effective healers that exist *because* of the wounds they have sustained.

They are first wounded, then, at some point, gain awareness of it and allow themselves to feel the pain (not stuff or ignore). Next, they do the hard work through the stages of healing. Because of the very nature of that experience, they *know*. They understand what others go through because they've done it, been there.

The healer, experienced or inexperienced, who isn't wounded can't fully relate to people, hasn't walked in the other person's shoes, often feels superior to the one being healed. But the Wounded Healer understands what the other person is going through at very deep levels, can sincerely and honestly empathize with them. These healers have been healed and transformed, they have gained the needed wisdom and knowledge and, in the end, become profoundly gifted healers. No institution can grant that ability, nor can anyone bestow it. They've earned it. So, while it might seem odd to consider a 'best', I believe it is.

Ooh, people watching in airports and bus stations is one of my favorite passtimes! I think I enjoy waiting for the vehicle more than getting onto it.

One nice thing, for me, is that I developed a LOVE for airports. Traveling through airports makes me feel at home. Trying to decode the signs, trying to figure out where to go next and which form to fill out. And of course, lots of time spent sitting, waiting, reading, people-watching. Airports are like a little microcosm of my life, where every encounter is something completely new and no two experiences are guaranteed to be the same.

And someone mentioned being a "xenophile." That for sure is something great. It's like the children's game - "which of these items doesn't belong." My mind immediately detects all the things that don't "belong" in a particular cultural picture, and that's what I'm drawn toward.

Having great diversity, and accepting and respecting other differences.
I'd also say having the knowledge that comes with travelling.
Also being able to move around with ease I guess. You'll have contacts everywhere, which I guess could be considered a plus point.
And of course, airplanes. I love airplanes. The smell of airplanes, the feel of airplanes, the whole feeling of just boarding an airplane...
I should stop, I sound psychotic. XD

With most of your posts I can agree...

But what I love most is my curiosity :D
When I meet people, places, countries, languages, technical things, just everywhere and in every area...

I realized being a TCK and an "outsider" gives you a lot of advantages that most people don't realize...

1. You're unencumbered. It's easier to succeed and make independent decisions when your friends and family aren't there. Sounds counter-intuitive, but it's true. Think about it.

2. You have more power. You can become an authority because you're a minority and have your own "third" culture. Power isn't about size, it's about freedom, and being a small minority is what makes us free.

As a minority, you can objectively assess situation and not blind by cultural rules and obligations.

You're not threatening to the dominant group, so you're allowed to make objective judgements. You can be that honest, blunt, outside voice. You're objective, because you have nothing at stake.

3. You're more connected. Being an outsider forces you to be connected. When you're small, you're forced to think about others.


4. You don't take friendship for granted. Most people take "belonging" to a culture for granted. When you have a mobile lifestyle and leave your friends behind, you realize how "belonging" is important and are unlikely to it for granted.


What do you guys think?

I've been teased that I "would do anything to belong to something".
It's true.
My boyfriend who was born and spent the first 24 years of his life in the exact same house was teasing me about it. He has no idea how much that hurt.
I've lived in 14 houses over 30 years across 6 countries. Some were longer term than others, but in all of them I formed bonds which I had to break when I left. It would, indeed, be nice to belong to something. Having a label, "TCK", is actually a strangely comforting start.
Thank you to whoever started this :)

WOW! Do you write professionally? That was all very well "said"!

The best thing about being a TCK? There are many things which come to mind, but now I would like to comment on what I feel is the best "moment" a TCK can have.

And for me, it's the moment, or rather the series of moments which eventually form the conviction that being a TCK is the greatest blessing of all.

Sure we stand-out, we're often (if not always) misunderstood, we often feel alienated from our supposed peers, but when we find ourselves amongst those who do honestly accept us for who we are, and give us the room we need to be our culturally collaged selves, we see things that most others can not. An ability granted to us by having experienced so many other "realities".

All those other realities which we have experienced provide us with the ability to see many things in an incredibly complex context. A very good ability to have, IMO.

Man thats right on the money! I can talk from the blue collar worker to a senetor with out blinking and eyelid. Its like us TCK's have learned not to judge people on thire social standing, but rather on merit. Probebly due to the fact we have no social measuring stick as we never lived in an environment where we felt we could measure others

Lol, understanding russel peters jokes thats sooo true with TCK's! Also i noticed TCK's can get ethnic jokes that other people cant. For example i live in a pretty white area at the moment and me and some caucaisn people wathced Kat williams HBO special and i seemed to be the only one who got it!

The ability to adapt to change is a huge one for me. I have a 'tool box' for handling change. Not once have I regretted that.

The other one is the ability to transcend polarization. In country A, I learned that x was good and y was bad. Okay. In country B I learned that x was bad and y was good. In order to acknowledge the validity of both within myself I had to transcend the duality and polarity. x and y BOTH have positive and negative aspects and BOTH have every right to exist. However much I look, I cannot find anything that is 'all good' or 'all bad'.

I love the chameleon in me. Over the years I have come to see that they are just different colours of the same me - they are not different me's. Once I realized that I felt less alienated from those around me, and I found it less lonely to be with non-TCKs and those who hadn't ever left their country or never had to re-identify themselves (or reconsider their sense of self).

Good things about being a TCK:



1. Open mindedness to new ideas and cultures

2. non judgemental of people's lifestyles or religions

3. ability to blend into any culture rather quickly

4. ability to read body language of people from most cultures

5. ability to adapt to situations pretty quickly and fairly well

6. really good at geography

7. not racist

8. ability to eat and make foreign foods so you never go hungry, and ability to impress your non-TCK friends with your cool interesting meals!

9. Can understand English language learners speaking English without the subtitles or interpreters

10. pick up on foreign languages faster than non-TCK's

11. have a house full of stuff from foreign cultures that make for interesting conversation when people come over.

12. ability to see both sides of an issue more objectively than most

13 ability to go to any country and find what you need fast

14. ability to get along with just about anybody, anytime and in any location

15. unafraid of change and able to change quicker than non-TCK's

16. more aware of foreign politics, history, and current affairs and more knowledgable of these.

17. less arrogant about your own home culture because of exposure to the cool inventions and good stuff of other cultures

18. able to pack up and move with lightning speed

19. able to make yourself at home pretty fast no matter where you end up

20. Unafraid of traveling without a tour group and with an unplanned itinerary.

21. Quick on your feet

22. more willing to get involved with humanitarian work

23. less consumeristic because you have SEEN and sometimes even EXPERIENCED how poor people live in other countries so you appreciate what you do have.

24. less greedy because having too much stuff ties you down.

25. Quicker to help strangers than non-TCK's

There are more but I can't think right now!

amen and amen!!

Airplanes! I love airplanes! Whenever I'm stressed, I want to fly somewhere -- anywhere!
Ability to eat anything with a smile -- well, almost anything. I still don't eat guacamole.
Being different. Different is good.
Seeing the other side of arguments. Playing the "devil's advocate".
Knowing where the countries on the news are.
Learning languages by linking them to other languages.
Caring about other countries.

languages and moving and boxes and moving vans and nice turkish mover men and chocolate and bread and air planes and air ports and suitcases and schools and travel and torture and love and hate and information and goodbyes and tears and smiles and culture. I love being a TCK and everyone should.

hmm..never hated it, never will? i just think it doesnt matter where ur from..the fact that one exists is the main thing :D

Memory!
I guess that when you are only in one place for a limited time (and know that you'll be leaving soon), you learn to soak up all you can. With a clarity that startles my parents, I can recall details about all our pasts that they often wish they had forgotten. In many ways, this is a curse. Where my parents wish they had just moved on, I remember all too well. All the foibles, tribulations, and foolish mistakes no one wants to recall are embedded in my brain indelibly. I guess for some this would be a recipe for depression, but for me (a creative manipulator of truths and pasts) it is merely a point of reckoning, one that I find myself staring into time and time again, wondering how I can use it to my advantage.

Mutability!
Who are we? I have no clue. I have been so many things and have been asked to be so many more, that I have become many things to many people. To an employer I am a loyal servant - as long as it serves me. To a religious zealot at work, I can see the view and agree wholeheartedly - and then go home (or the bar) to do the exact opposite. To a teacher at school I am a grade A student, who can see the application or just accept the absurdity of repetition. By seeing so many ways of life, or having to participate in and pretend to be a part of it has given me a truly unique perspective. I'd bet money that most TCK's have a truly intimate understanding of the human animal.

Lying!
Being able to lie is a positive? Yes! Ah, the stories I can invent ! It is not something I take pride in, but it is a power nonetheless. In a split second, I can drop names, modify facts, or make up stories like no one else's business. I sometimes wonder how much I could get away with. For the most part, it is innocent fun, but on several occasions it has gotten me out of traffic violations, muggings, or even worse. I don't know where I get it, but being a TCK adds a richness to my stories that makes all the difference.

To these ugly, uncomfortable admissions I have this to say:
Thought there is little grace to save me, I am sure of one thing: I actually have a heart. I am in school now to become a nurse. I care for the underdog, give to charity when I can, and lend an ear to those who need to talk. I have learned to shut my mouth, to adapt, to never assume that I know any better. I wish that I was rewarded in money or status for my understanding, but life goes on without such goodwill. Travel is no longer affordable, but even as I struggle to make basic ends meet I find satisfaction in being a fly on the wall, knowing just how small and just how temporary I am.

-Josh Becknell

-TCKs look at "difference" with fascination and wonder instead of fear and distance.

-We are natural xephofiles.

The ability to be a positive influence on other people's lives.

I see each of us as a bundle of cultures within and waiting to be experienced. You know how much one person can benefit from meeting and learning from just one person from a different culture. What can YOU bring into their lives?

LOL i was lazy and didn't want to think of a better username, so I though I might as well take my initial...
yes it reminds you of m&m; that's why. is it? LOL

mmmm, that's a very good one! (off topic: your name makes me hungry for some reason.)

simple. we are the only ones who experience true love, which is the Understanding and love for all.

Great Brice!
Thanks so much for that info.
And I will check out the meet-up forum.
I realize that speaking with TCKs and finding meet- ups would be far more satisfying than say normal expat meet-ups, as I tend to think that some of the experiences we go through are quite different, no?
Anyway, I a total newbie here so I am still finding my way round. ;-) Thanks again for the tips, Brice!

off topic: Nioucha, there are TCK meetups and even conferences!

FIGT 2008 (costs $300)
http://programs.regweb.com/metro/FIGT2008/Regis...

Or... you could organize your own for free :)

http://www.tckid.com/group/category/meetup/

I talk to some local TCKs often and it's a lot of fun - I highly recommend you find some local people too!

Oh- you guys have pretty much said it all and said it well!
I would add that one of the best things about being a TCK is that despite all the ups and downs, despite the periods of identity crisis, feeling like a fish out of water (whilst having no problem swimming, of course), the occassional periods of depression and wondering if anyone around you can possibly understand what it is like to view the world through your eyes, or just "get you" in general,despite all these things WE are truly a positive and living representation of what the end of xenophbia means. WE are the ones that creates bridges of communication and understanding where there is abyss and ignorance. I think, without sounding too sappy, WE really are the way of the future (and that makes me proud and it also makes me feel empowered) and it is a pity that we aren't better represented and considered whether it is is work or social circles. Perhaps, this also depends on us. Perhaps because of our highly adaptible natures we tend to not 'shake things up' as much. But maybe we should. Maybe the likes of Obama are truly a sign that things can change and we can be a part of that.
Wouldn't it be great to have TCK meet-ups in different parts of the world so that we can share and discuss our experiences in person? It would be fantastic to even hold worldwide conferences between TCKs and non-TCKs. :-) Hmmm, now there's a thought.

Amen to all the comments above!! :)

- We are able to move in very diverse circles.

I work in China &, while my colleagues all do things together & stick mostly to their own countrymen or work-related folk, I was never confined by that. I was comfortable right away & easily found things to do outside work.

- We tend to have a better grasp of world history & geography because we've experienced things that the average person from our passport country hasn't.

- In this globalized economy, we have an edge because we've lived in these places & have experiences with their cultures outside the text book.

My dad grew up in China & worked for his bank's Asia division for 40 years. He knew the mentality & his colleagues hired from the US didn't. They made LOTS of cultural faux pas (big ones) that eventually hurt their reputation & the bank's. Unfortunately, I think a lot of companies STILL don't understand the benefits of hiring a TCK :P But I always bring it up at my interviews (I'm a teacher in the Int'l Schools).

I LOVE BEING A GLOBAL NOMAD!! :)

I remember going to Chicago for work for a week with british colleagues. They _all_ stayed at the english pub just under the hotel every evening. Me and another expat were far more adventurous in at least exploring the city. Being a Global Nomad is good. But it becomes tricky when you face marriage / settling down. (eep!)

I love it too. I was offered a position to teach at an international school in Morocco, but my wife didn't go for it. She was shocked when I took her to China for our first anniversary--by the poverty in Guizhou province--and she was unable to talk to anyone, which frustrated her to no end. She had never been out of the US before. My dad was a missionary to Shanghai during Liberation, the last to arrive. He thought the China Inland Missionaries were a bit too much enclaved in the compound before they let their new recruits out after a year of language study. And he gained a totally different mentality about the Chinese church than almost any other mission (except Wilhelm's and maybe the Baptists) when he returned there the last two decades before he died.

- flexibility/adaptability
- we have about fifty different pairs of glasses to see through: for each culture, language, country, experience, etc
- we have countless stories for the grandkids
- non-judgmental, generally we know how to listen and that a person's experiences are his experiences and cannot be argued or diminished or demeaned
- we can see through most peoples' bs, even if we don't let them know that we do
- the small fishbowl/bubble mentality does NOT apply to us
- we are racism-free, as well as stereotype-free (generally)
- we've lived. good or bad, we've lived.
- we understand international films, books, art... and appreciate the parts that no one else gets
- appreciation for the imperfect

My grade 12 English teacher once said something I'll never forget: "If someone were to follow you around 24/7 for a week, and you watched your life on screen, you would realize how boring your life is, and everyone would else would see how boring your life is. No one wants to watch real life as it really is. Our lives are boring." I laughed at that statement then, and I've laughed at that statement every day since then.

Like Genxni said, that ability to get along with just about anyone is one of the best things. I also agree that I'm more open-minded than I would have been had I grown up in one place - I know this because I have cousins who are so narrow-minded, biggoted and prejudiced (not to mention ultra-conservative and fundamentally religious) that I KNOW if I had grown up like they did, I'd probably have been the same.

The other thing I like is that I'm able to make friends easily with just about anyone and everyone. I get on the bus on the way to work every morning and just about everyone greets me with a big smile. They don't do that to each other or anyone else. I have the ability to reach out and connect with other people and find some way to click with them and win their trust. People open up to me and tell me things they have never told anyone else - does that happen to anyone else here?

A lot of people open up to me. I'm a pretty good listener. A friend of my dad's opened up to me about how he was, shall we say hazed, by some fellow sailors in WWII, something he never mentioned to anyone else, I think. A French classmate treated me as a father-confessor during a class project. And the list goes on. A teacher in China who had a secret abortion before her husband found out she was having a second child. Or of a homosexual man in China who wonders if Christianity can do anything about his urges for other men. I seem to attract the mentally-ill, as well, who have no one else to talk to, such as my Mandarin and Cantonese tutor in China, whose girlfriend was forced to have an abortion and made him lose it when he wasn't allowed to marry her. He received treatment and his family institutionalized him after I moved away from China. I seem to have a heart for people no matter what there state. Like the Muslim from Lybia whom I met in China that argued with me about why the Bible was corrupted and the Koran was the Word of God.

Definitely:
-flexibiltity to change
-amazing experiences haha
-get along with anyone
^_^

I think people who have travelled possess more of an understanding that there is a whole WORLD and that it is not limited to oneself. Time, especially distance-wise, is different to me also.

To stand up for something that's not your own and KNOW what you stand up for.

To have friends all over the world.

Never fear distance.

Any place can be "home".

Independence.

Willing to try new things.

Think outside the box.

...and the list goes on.

1. All the travel I was able to do growing up! For Thanksgiving we'd go to Hong Kong or Singapore, Christmas was Saipan or Guam, Spring break was the Philippines once and/or somewhere in Japan (Kyoto, Hakone, etc.) and the whole summer was spent traveling through Europe, half of which my Dad's company paid for.

I saw so much and experienced so many wonderful things!

2. Adaptability, maybe not with people so much, but when I move somewhere new or start a new job (yes, it happens a lot, lol) I learn the ropes very quickly.

3. Understanding that people are just people wherever you go. Good or bad, we're all very much alike.

Besides what has been said...I think one big thing that I learned was to put myself in other people's shoes.

I do this all the time. And because of it, I think I can better understand people and their reasons for being who they are and doing what they do.

Another big advantage is the language skills. I love learning new languages and I'm really good at it. All my teachers were amazed at how good my french was (I completed all the Alliance Française levels in less than 2 years).

Right now these are the ones that came on the top of my head, but I'm sure I can come up with more!

I like this thread, I think we should talk about the good aspects of being a TCK too! =)

Yep, I agree.
And currently, I'm quadrilingual.
I'm hoping I can start learning turkish soon enough as a 5th, or restore my German. :)
Language skills are definitely one of the biggest benefits of being a TCK. I wouldn't trade them for anything!!

i think it helps you figure things out quicker, jobs, relationships, friends, people you don't want as friends, everything, than most. since we've had more exposure to the world then the people from our "home" towns have.

Yeah, I agree with both Brice and Julie.

And as a teenager, it kind of gives me advantage cause I've seen more than others. Maybe not so much, but a little helps most of the time. I can cope more. And also, I appreciate more. The little things usually make me happy, and I don't ask for much. I guess I've seen that some people have it worse and that I should be thankful :)

Keeps a positive attitude going on right?

Being able to understand where people from other cultures are comming from even if I have never been a part of thier culture is a great plus. As I have addapted to other cultures I have also learned the abilty to read other peopels emotions by body language pretty well the only down side of this is it dosn't work over the phone.

Being open-minded. I doubt I would be as flexible, tolerant, and have strong cross cultural skills if I wasn't TCK.

Here are some POSITIVE characteristics you may have heard:

* Make great culture bridges. They have multiple frames of reference.

* Excellent observers of other people. They can be very observant and sensitive.

* Speak more than one language often 3 or 4. English may be one language they function in, but they can think and feel in several.

* Establish relationships quickly. They cut through many of the initial levels of diffidence when forming relationships.

* Open-minded and less prejudiced.

* Adapt quickly to unfamiliar countries and people, culturally astute, cross-culturally enriched.

* More welcoming of newcomers into a community.

* Educational achievers - a high percentage will attend university and obtain advanced degrees.

* Live more in the present and for the moment. (Pollock, 1999)