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What Ruth said got me thinking…

I am not an American voter, but half of my family is white or are Asians who consider America their adopted country. My children intend to study in the US. Hence the US elections and who would be running the country for the next four years were much talked-about topics at our dinner table. I personally saw Obama’s TCK-ness before I even considered what race he might be; but interestingly my own siblings used their own yardsticks to choose which candidate deserved their vote. In the thread about Obama and whether he is black or “half-white”, Ruth wrote: “I think one of the gifts many of us received in life was growing up among a multiplicity of race and cultures so that we saw the persons first…that doesn’t mean we are without our own prejudices…” I love this statement. I like to think I see the person first, and wonder if it’s because of my TCK-ness that I form opinions based on things other than race or perceived ethnicity. The first thing I notice about a person is the accent and use of language – so much can be inferred from how one speaks! Is this a TCK thing? I’m sure I’m not the only one who thinks this way. After much more mindgum-chewing (I observe a lot, and think too much – another TCK trait?), I’ve concluded that there are (for me, anyway) other things far more telling of one’s character than race: the shoes on their feet, and the contents of their iPod. I have a friend who tells me she can’t date a man unless he reads the same books she reads. Care to share your own “prejudices”? What are the first three things you notice about a person?

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Posted by cami at 2:44 am on December 2nd, 2008. Comments
Categories: General Forum. Tags: , , , , .

  • anonymoustck
    Aradhana: Wow, I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I have the same prejudice with monocultural people it seems, but I don't know if they're prejudices or valid concerns.
  • TCKs indeed have prejudices. Every human being has prejudices, but in varrying degrees.

    I have somewhat and "insular meter" that tries to measure how much someone thinks that their way of life is the "standard norm" or the opacity of their cultural blinders.

    Not everyone who is monocultural is insular. There are people who are monocultural that have an appreciation for cultures that are not their own. I have also run into TCKs and other CCKs who are also insular to their own cultures (I guess this can come from uber-compensation in order to belong, I donno).

    For example, I became very critical of a coworker after he said to me,"What!! You don't listen to Elvis? Are you even American?!

    Another prejudice that I have is that deep down inside I often make the assumption that Americans and Asians in general are the most insular of everyone and that people from big cities are less insular than those from rural areas. Although I have been proven wrong many times it is very very difficult to stop that immediate judgement which many times you are not aware of until after the fact.
  • Julie
    I have a thing with surnames, as in immediately (and almost subconsciously) making a mental note of the origin. It's not that I'm labeling the person with that ethnicity. It's more like a point of reference for later conversation. I'm not sure if this is due to being a TCK or because my dad was always so quick to ask people about their names, family, where they're from, etc. I suppose it's probably both.
  • This is a great post! I think for some this may be hard to discover because TCKs in general (at least as far as I know) don't really think prejudice exist in a TCK lifestyle. And I do agree with you about Ruth's comment, it's true! We all have our prejudices regardless of how TCK we are - we are after all, human.

    Sometimes we're so engrossed in other people's prejudice towards others that we forget we are also exercising prejudice (wow that was a mouthful LOL).

    I have to admit I look at race as a factor in the US because well it's hard not to see it as a factor when everyone else looks at you by your race. I find myself extremely self-conscious when I'm in a room full of non-Asian people - this make me very American LOL And this is something I have to work on.

    With that said, normally I look at people at the way they act and their general appearance. Their attitude, body language and how they dress and also whether they look at me when they're talking to me or when I'm talking. Not that I have anything against a certain group of people but that's how I form my initial impression.
  • cami
    Ellen, you are so right about the chopsticks! I didn't realize until I moved to Singapore that my chopstick skills weren't up to par :) I'm a lot better now, though. I can identify tourists/visitors by how they hold their chopsticks.

    Are all TCKs as observant? Possibly part of our survival and coping mechanism...
  • ellen
    "If non-TCKs have the tendency to be prejudiced towards those who are different, TCKs may be prejudiced towards those who are more of the same."

    I think this is a really good observation, and I find it true of myself - I certainly have a prejudice against people who are too much like me.. Since I'm so used to meeting people who have lived all over the world and had to deal with cultural struggles - when I meet a someone who has a life story pretty close to mine, it's not quite as interesting. (Although, with that said, now that I live in a small town in the US for college, i would welcome meeting any TCK or someone like me!!)

    I judge people on how well they use chopsticks ;)
  • Brice
    I have my prejudices too. For me, I sort people into two categories: Cat lovers and non-cat lovers. =P

    It's interesting to note that you said: "I form opinions based on things other than race or perceived ethnicity."

    I think most TCKs do that, including myself. Maybe Paulette Bethel can share her opinion on this.
  • LOL I tend to look at what shoes a person is wearing, as well! Music is definitely in there too, as well as a gorgeous smile.

    I think, being global, being exposed to so many different people and cultures from a young age really tweaks your perspective. I don't, for example, ask someone "What's your favorite TV show?" if I want to get to know them. It's such a safe, default(i.e. shallow) filler-type question, as if you don't know what to say. (Helps that I don't do too much TV either lol). TCKs have PLENTY to say even if they hide it, and with the right audience, you can really let that part of you shine. Know what I mean?

    Instead I ask, "Where are you from originally?" or "Have you always lived here?" That's a good getting to know you indicator for me. Next it's "what kind of music do you like?" (All the while I'm ogling their gorgeous smiles or peeking under the table at what shoes they're wearing).

    It's true, we are global and open-minded, but it's not as if we don't have our own version of "prejudice." If I meet someone who grew up on punk rock and now likes indie or trip hop, I know right off the bat that we'll get along. But, if they like mainstream stuff and were born and raised in the same town, I tend to "edit" myself when we chat, so I don't loose them in some weird stream of conciousness discussion.

    I feel like I have to "conform" in order to get along with certain people.

    If non-TCKs have the tendency to be prejudiced towards those who are different, TCKs may be prejudiced towards those who are more of the same.
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