What character traits are the most difficult for a TCK to develop?
Buy Elimite Online Prevacid Without Prescription Ultram No Prescription Prevacid For Sale Ultram Generic Buy Prednisone Online Toprol XL Without Prescription Amoxil No Prescription Elimite For Sale Cipro GenericIt seems like anyone affected by gravity can identify the “cons” of being a TCK while also acknowledging that the “pros” are much greater. That’s so rad!
I’m curious about the “cons” though… It seems like TCKS are naturally more compassionate and more flexible, to name a few traits, but what character traits are the hardest for a TCK to develop? Perhaps diligence, or perseverance? Contentment? What are your ideas as to why this is?
I’m not a TCK myself, but I have a class full of 6th grade TCKs and I’m trying to figure out how to adjust our character building curriculum to meet their unique needs. Your insights will be greatly appreciated!
Lisa Kowalski
Seeing as how I didn't truly discover that the world was any bigger than San Diego, CA until high school, I'm not exactly a TCK... but I wish I was! As soon as I realized there were kids in other countries who could use a teacher like me, I was hooked! I put myself into as many short term cross cultural experiences as I could: most notably a 2-month mission trip to Australia during high school, and a semester studying missions, language, cultural anthropology and the like in Fiji! Then, quite unexpectedly, I found myself teaching at a small international school in Malawi, Africa, where I've been now for nearly 2 years. I'll "go home" again in 2010, but by then, where will "home" be?!? I'm researching strategies for effective character education for TCKs because I'm passionate about two things: (1) God's love for the world, and (2) helping kiddos grow up to be decent people so they can change the world! My 6th grade classroom is full of TCKs and educational CCKs, and I want to help them as best as I can! I'm also drawn to the TCK world, as I hope to "settle" internationally, whenever that will be. I'm from San Diego, but it's not home anymore... And, let's be friends!!14 Comments to “What character traits are the most difficult for a TCK to develop?”
November 12th, 2008 at 11:01 am
I don’t think diligence would normally be an issue for TCKs b/c our parents tend to be highly educated and successful in their fields (or the would not have been sent abroad to represent their company/country/etc.), and expect us to do well in school. Since the statistics show that FAR more TCKs go on to college than do kids from the general population, I would guess that means we are actually quite diligent about our work.
And perseverance is a necessary trait for TCKs who are wrong so much of the time — as in every time we move to a new culture, we need to figure out, yet again, how to do things “correctly.” And we cannot afford to stop trying, or we will never learn to fit in in our new post.
I think the more realistic challenge you might face when teaching TCKs is boredom. TCKs have seen, experienced, and tried out so many fascinating things and ideas already, that the typical American school curriculum is BORING beyond belief. And boredom or lack of challenge can often manifest symptoms that look just like lack of diligence or perseverance.
As for other traits, I would guess that loyalty would be a difficult trait for TCKs to develop. At least that has been true to me — loyalty to a team, a school, a country… makes no sense to me. And that has cost me a fair few (monocultural) friends.
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November 12th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
The hardest quality for me to delveop has been trust. I didnt feel as if I could trust anyone–my parents shipped me to boarding school then moved ‘home’ on me by the time I went back for christmas (a few times too), my best friend moved away, or I did, or countless of other problems. Trusting anyone has been very hard, and I think that is why we lack the loyalty That Larisa mentions above, and why it is hard to belong anywhere–trust is HARD!
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November 12th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
I’d say intimacy and vulnerability were the two that were hardest for me. Trust plays into both of them. Trust that someone was going to stick around regardless of where I was, trust that someone wanted me to stick around wherever I was… trust that it was okay for me to stick around. I learned to trust change, I learned to trust life, but I can’t say I had much chance to learn to trust intimacy.
Vulnerability was hard because I had this great big shield around me that helped me deal with strong feelings, emotions and opinions within myself, and I’ll do it all myself too. I don’t need other peoples’ help cuz I’m used to doing things myself and I have been doing things myself and holy shit - I can’t go break down because if I break down, I don’t know if I can carry on again.
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November 12th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
I definitely agree with Larisa’s assessment of boredom. And related to that, I’d add restlessness; I know I have a difficult time being content in routine.
I haven’t had too much trouble with trust, but I do have a hard time when people want me to commit to something. I like keeping my options open, so maybe that makes me somewhat unreliable, which I guess could be related to the loyalty comment.
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November 13th, 2008 at 5:46 am
I am a ATCK who teaches social studies to 6th grade monocultural students in northern Indiana. I love being able to share a different perspectives than most of them have heard from other social studies teachers.
Anyway, I know character ed is huge, esp lately. I would say committment as well. Once I AM committed, I have no problem with diligence and perserverence, in fact, I become a bit obsessive and possibly frustrated when others around me aren’t as involved.
The trick is, like Larisa said, getting past the boredom, the “been there, done that” attitude. Maybe some other traits to teach are:
Decisiveness (many times tcks leave their options TOO open, thus choosing nothing, and when it’s “too late”, becoming frustrated)
Leadership (tcks have great capacities for leadership, but aren’t sure how to focus their energies, not to mention possible shyness in leading people they don’t know well)
Analysis (not just analysis, but action to support a decision….see decisiveness)
Self-Esteem (this is a biggie! Possibly ways to build self esteem- no negative self talk)
Humility (hard to balance with self esteem…)
Management (time/energies)
ok, I’m done…hope this helps!
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November 13th, 2008 at 6:53 am
Problems…
I’d say that yeah, TRUST would be a big issue. I haven’t fully allowed myself to trust others or form great friendships for a while. That involved me building a wall to keep others away, so some kids might end up doing that.
Another would have to be RESTLESSNESS. When I was in what I believed would be ‘home’ for the rest of my life, I started feeling the need to get into a plane again after about 2 years!
LOYALTY could be another. Especially in a place like Australia, I am literally marked out for trouble because I don’t care about Australia the same way all Australians do. [had to bite my tongue when my teacher told me I could practice registering to vote for when I became an Australian citizen!] My reluctance to call any place ‘home’ has earned me quite a few glares…
Perhaps not all TCKs will experience this, but an initial SHYNESS would be present? It’s kind of like “People who don’t know me think I’m quiet. People who know me WISH I was quiet.” XD It occurs frequently with me, and I believe it’s partially because I don’t have the same familiarity of the people around me as these people have with themselves.
Hope this will help you in teaching your class. =)
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November 13th, 2008 at 8:26 am
I don’t have much to add to the above comments as they all pretty much right on about difficult character traits for TCKs to develop and maintain.
I agree with everything and would like to emphasize that these characteristics are indeed difficult to develop. As a young professional I am struggling with just making my point and being firm about it. I am so used to taking everyone into consideration that I sometimes let myself be swayed by other people’s opinions, wants and needs that it sometimes cost me health issues (too much stress). But that is just one example.
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November 13th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Wow everyone, thanks loads for the super helpful tips! I’ll be researching / brainstorming ways to teach this stuff that will actually make a difference. And hey, you made me think of a new question, so I’m going to go post again.. if anyone else has ideas of character traits to focus on with TCKs, please let me know!
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November 16th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
I would also add to that list “self confidence” or security in yourself.
Explore the TCKs identity in class, help each one find their own definition of who they are (see my post of the “Where I’m From” poem). And then help them realise that they are not alone in their multiculturality/”wierdness”. Have them share their feelings like we do on this site.
All these things were a BIG self-confidence builder.
Later you can help them explore ways to relate to monocultural people as well.
This is a whole other chapter too…”how to relate with monocultural people” is a very frequent question here.
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November 20th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Hmm, how to teach TCKs and move them on.
Here are some ideas.
TCK’s relate well to others with similar experiences. It is where they feel most at home. So a suggestion would be to let both TCKs and non TCKs share similar experiences in the class room. They work together on projects, competitions and events. Even play acting if necessary. This should help them feel they can relate to non-tcks more as they can see that it is possible to relate well to others who have not necessarily had the background they have. It should give them the opportunity to use some of their strengths. These for many incude things like creativity, thinking of alternative ways of solving a problem, lateral thinking etc.
Secondly as much as possible try to build on a sense of trust. TCK’s often find it hard to make friends on a deeper level as they often move on. But they can be fiercely loyal to friends they do make. Yet can also move on without feeling emotionally tied to them too.
To gain a sense of trust I think there needs to be a sense of permanence about a situation. Perhaps a school project that works on say planting trees or painting a murial,something that will be there for a long time.
On the boredom issue, maybe involve them in creating some of the lesson plans you do. Make a list of the things you are going to teach and get them to come up with some ideas of how to teach them to the rest of the class. Get them to own the curriculum in some way.
Lastly get them to produce something that is portable and something that they can take with them if they move. A photo album/scrap book with memories so that they can look back at the things they did while in your class. Get the other children to sign it and put one positive thing about that person in it too. Something they like about them. It will get the children to think more about each other.
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December 1st, 2008 at 6:45 am
In addition to trust, restlessness, for me staying focused is most difficult. I just turned 30, and to date experimented with 37 projects. All in different industries. I am always ready to take on a new adventure or many at once. I finish what I start and move on to explore new career field, business. I have no patience or interest to develop the depth needed to excel only in one thing.
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December 1st, 2008 at 6:33 pm
I don’t know about other folks, but I know my own faults. For me the two biggest faults I have are being TOO FLEXIBLE and not having a well developed sense of personal safety.
Having experienced six different cultures first hand, I KNOW that not everyone thinks or feels the same and so we have to compromise. I have a hard time being firm. I try to figure out where the other person is coming from, see their problem from their point of view, and then try to fix it. Others tell me this looks a little too much like letting folks walk all over me because I don’t stand up for my own needs or desires. I do, I just make sure my needs aren’t met at the expense of others even if their’s are met at mine. The river moves around the rock, but in time the rock is gone while the river remains.
The sense of personal safety… Ok thats probably unique to me. I’m not suicidal, nor do I have a deathwish (those days are past me now), but I just don’t care when it comes to my own safety. I eat raw or undercooked meat because it tastes better. I walk through traffic. I operate machinery without gloves or eye protection. I never get vaccinated and rarely get sick. I am well aware that such things are dangerous, they might even kill me, but untill that day comes it just isn’t important to me. It’s not about excitement or thrill seeking, its just about living my life without being coddled or having things whitewashed over. Truth, honesty, and reality. All very dangerous things.
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December 28th, 2008 at 6:25 am
i wud say the worst of all problem is concentration. I have the most horrible attention span ever I dunt even noe how I survived high school honestly lol.
i think there’s a lot of problems with me that I wud rather see as virtues LOL but i will tell u wt they r anyways.
1. It’s true tat I often think I know more. in fact, not only do I think that, I am sure of it. Whether it’s true or not? I think so…but I know not every1 I talk to would agree. and tat’s where the whole “TCKs are cocky, cynical, negative and antisocial” come in. Some of us would feel guilty and even try to change ourselves. While me and sum other of my TCK frds are just kind of like, “well it’s their problems that they dont get it…we noe we are right”. We will think it’s a virtue tat “i dunt give in, dunt submit, and always stand up for wt i believe is the truth”
so in short, yes, some of us r stubborn, cynical, do not take ppl’s advice (but tat’s only because some ppl give us advice tat doesn’t even apply to TCK situations, like the whole if ur depressed then go talk a nice walk and balance ur diet crap…it’s not the cause of our depression and it piss us off that some therapists think they are)
2. A lot of us have a constant urge to show off. People feel that we just want attention… i mean yes it’s true, I guess we do but who doesn’t? the only problem being, we feel like we have a lot of stories worth telling, a lot of expreiences worth showing off. One of my frds who is a hardcore TCK has a huge problem. However I am not sure if it’s a real problem or if she is misunderstood. Everyone thinks she is a chronicle liar, because she always talk about her stories “back home” while this cud be anywhere reli. So ppl dunt seem to understand why sumtimes her home is South Africa while Sometimes it’s the Caribbean. They all don’t take her seriously and they think she makes up everything about her life, in fact they barely believe that her father is actually a diplomat. In fact they don’t even believe that she is mixed-_- Maybe it’s because her life is too bizarre for ppl to handle, maybe she actually exaggerates things. I am not sure, I myself find the things she say reli quite bizarre, but since I am a TCK myself, I understand that everything she said could very likely be true.
3. I think most of it depends on the individual however. TCKs can turn out either extremely outgoing and social or extremely quiet and antisocial, we have discussed on this board before that a lot of tcks are INFJ under the myer brigg personality test, however I was ENFP instead. I stands for introverted while E stands for extroverted, and i noe many othe TCKs who r even more extroverted than me. So it’s not true tat all TCKs fall under the quiet stay-home hate american style-partying archetype. it’s just not true, cuz sum of us r reli reli wild party animals. So I think this part depends on the person. However yes, many TCKs might come off too unnecessarily introverted, but i think it’s important to make them understand tat the cause of being antisocial is not simply because all the mobility made them scared to become emotionally attached. To many others TCK, we are outgoing for the same reason, because of all the mobility we want to make as many frds as possible while given a short time. So I think, it’s important to teach TCK kids that in the end it’s a matter of attitude. Personality cant change, but attitude can, so let attitude rather than personality determine ur life.
4. Overall, it seems that the greatest problem we have is the problem with fitting in. However I don’t think it’s because we have a hard time doing it, it’s because we simply DON’T want to. A lot of us go through a stage where we feel like our way of life is wrong, but eventually most of us come out of that closet and say, “screw it we don’t care, we like the way we are”. I went through that, and in the end, my conclusion is that, the defects of TCK are only defects in other people’s eyes, while they are actually virtues in our eyes. I like to be “unpatriotic” because i dunt think any country deserves my love more than the other, I like being “the root traitor” because the truth is no culture is perfect and I like to lose the imperfect parts, and I like to seem like I have “no moral ideals or principals” because I UNDERSTAND tat no matter how absurd things may seem to be, they have their reasons and “is right” in another time/another place. I also like to be “inconsistent” because I know I am ready for more advanced thinking and revolutionary changes anytime.
oh yah worst problem with TCKs. WE RAMBLE TOO MUCH! lol
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February 21st, 2009 at 8:20 am
Hi!
Diligence and perseverance are the two things TCKs probably learn first. They are necessary to survive new schools, new friends, new everything. You need to be diligent as a TCK to start on the right foot when getting somewhere new, to ensure that bonds outlast leaving.
Perseverance is learned when you realise that you have nothing to earn by quitting. When you leave you mourn all that you lost and it’s tempting to quit. Yet kids quickly realize that to quit is pointless, that they need to work through the motions to make new friends and see that good things surrounding them.
I do agree that boredom is hard to grasp when you do not know the concept of monotony. When you are always travelling, EVERYTHING is a clue to understanding your surroundings. Thus everything is interesting. Things are rarely boring in general. Still kids can get bored in some class or when dealing with some people who don’t seem to understand that they got the point. We are used to change, learning and discovering. We move at a fast pace in the learning aspect because you never know when you might have to leave or when those around you might do so. It’s easy to think that TCKs quit easily… yet perhaps it’s just that they moved on to something else because the lesson wasn’t advancing and they already got the point.
Another things that is hard to grasp is what most people consider normal. The kids in a class full of TCK have their own version of normality based on third culture. Yet if they are 6th graders going into puberty, like most teenagers they start comparing themselves to others. When I was at that age, we sometimes felt a difference between those more integrated into the school and those just arriving. Most importantly, we had a tough time understanding those who were not tck. We would read the news and not understand the choices of other teenagers or even adults (yes, we watched the news and read newspapers at age 12 in my school). It was great to have a French class teacher who made us read books by non-tck and who asked not just the typical run of the mill literature questions. She asked us whether we could imagine feeling what the characters felt, what we would do in their position. It taught us how to analyze AND gave us an understanding of what “normality” could be like.
Hope all this helps!
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