I’m going to the reference of my own experience in this post, namely being a TCK, and being (technically) an Asian-American. Hopefully it can relate to some of your experiences.

I never thought that much about being Asian American. It had occurred to me that people didn’t take me that seriously as an American growing up, because I looked Asian, but then most of my friends weren’t exactly what they said they were either. Lots of Eurasians, who had a strange, mixed loyalty to both their birth nationalities/races. And it was perfectly fine to us, so I fit in that category, in a way.

Coming to the US was an education in itself, for all the reasons I think American TCKs are familiar with. Race is a big thing in the US, for good and ill. It’s so recognized that people define themselves by it. This holds true for Asian Americans.

Second, third and later generations of Asians in the US stick together out of a shared sense of confusion about what they should be. Older, more traditional family members, do all those lovely Asian things to the younger ones: inputting values of family loyalty, career security, and ALWAYS, some kind of musical instrument.

At the same time, they get institutionalized by the world outside, which is American culture. Independence, self-achievement and freedom of opinion are things which tend to clash. As such, Asian Americans tend to have a lot in common. They can, and sometimes do, stick together because they feel that the others know what they’re going through.

I took a class when I was in Michigan, which was probably my most interesting class ever. “Chinese Culture as portrayed through American Film.” It was fascinating. I was learning about a whole new world of the way Asians were portrayed in popular culture in the US for the last century. From Fu Manchu to Bruce Lee to Lucy Liu. Something about the portrayal was never right, but always slotted neatly into the minds of “normal” Americans. It leads to the “Lotus Blossom” idea of the purty and simplicity of Asian women, which is misleading. Not to mention the whole Femme Fatale thing of the 20’s movies, and Lucy Liu’s whole Dominatrix-Charlie’s-Angels thing.

It’s amazing Asians haven’t rebelled in the US considering all the blatant racism in the younger years, and the more subtle kinds you might still see, but that too, is part of the difference between older and younger generations.

It more or less splits into two groups. The whole thing is based on the idea of the “ideal citizen” which traditional Asians are seen to be: hardworking, unquestioning, and usually no trouble.

One side argues that this is bad, because while African-Americans and Hispanic-Americans were marching for Civil Rights in the 1960s, Asian-Americans were keeping their heads down and making no trouble: doing your laundry, washing your dishes, and smiling over a pot of rice. They think that the example of William Hung (the Asian guy who sung terribly in American Idol to earn millions of dollars for his good attitude) was disgusting, and showed that they still weren’t taken seriously.

The other side argues that they don’t get in trouble (they’re never pointed at when things go wrong the way that African-Americans and Hispanics are), and that all in all it’s not a bad thing to be model citizens. We’re happy and get on with our lives, right?

And the first side argues again that that is just being SO Asian, and accepting of the inequality that Asians get.

I remember that in this class I was encouraged to pick a side, because the young professor teaching it was interested in what we thought about it. Or at least having an opinion. And naturally, you can imagine that I really couldn’t. Up until that moment it wasn’t my battle.

How can you explain to someone that for all your life, none of that mattered? I had never even thought about it. I couldn’t come up with a good answer. NOW I can, but it’s been a long while.

The funny thing is that there were people who thought it WAS my battle. Because I am, technically, a second generation Asian-American. I just didn’t live in the US. So I was offered by the Asian fraternities to join them in their brotherhood of Asians which felt so, so weird. So naturally I didn’t join them.

Most Asian-Americans I meet these days are very Americanized. It’s not something I relate to. Interestingly though, one of the friends I made in Michigan was a Korean who had only spent his high-school years in the US, and as such was very in-between. In hindsight, I think he was influenced by so many people to call himself Asian-American, but at heart still felt different. I think that people wanted to call him Asian-American, because that’s what Asians WERE to most Americans. They were either that, or under the lovely umbrella term of “FOB”.

Which is sad, because one thing that seems consistent with a lot of Asian-Americans is that sense of rebellion, of saying “We Are Not Our Parents!” You shouldn’t really rebel based on what you’re not, but what you are. And Asian-Americans are far from figuring out what they are.

In this, I think TCKs face a similar issue. I think that instead of declaring what we’re not, we should be trying to discover just what it is that we are. Rebelling for the simple satisfaction it brings isn’t the answer. Just having the term “TCK” makes it a lot easier, but it’s a start and a stepping stone.

Let’s think outside the box.

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