Uncle Dan’s Blog - “We and we”, and Americans vs Europeans
So yesterday I had my first final. Yes, that’s right, it was on a Saturday. Before the exam there was a lot of stress, because it was a lot of material and *of course* we always leave the studying towards the end.
Anyway, afterwards a few of us went for de-stressing pizza dinner. Me, Kit, and someone heretofore unintroduced, and we’ll call him TT. Not too much to say, except that he’s German.
Just so you know too, the pizza here in my town is pretty good. An hour away from the Italian border, and most of the residents here are Italian-related anyway. Every restaurant serves pizza, and… munch munch. That said, conversation drifted onto Americans. And I said this, without thinking:
“See, we Americans don’t think like that, and we Asians don’t either.”
TT pointed it out as I said it, chuckling. I find the situation pretty amusing.
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Another Norwegian friend commented the other day that Americans (including myself) tend not to “take care of ourselves”. Europeans tend to check themselves in the mirror before leaving, whereas Americans aren’t afraid to run outside in their pajamas. There are pluses and minuses to both. Americans I know like this (it’s not all of them, but a lot of them), tend to feel that everyone’s a friend, and dressing up throws on a fake face and that by being natural and unadorned, they’re being themselves. Europeans who always dress nicely, have their hair gelled or at least some make-up on, just feel that they like to look good, because then they feel good about themselves. Plus, in the end we’re all animals and people like other people who look good.
Which way do you lean? When I lived in Jakarta, I had mostly European friends, so I spiked my hair every day for school and wore factory store brands to clubs. When I got to the US, I lived in a dorm with public bathrooms… so really there wasn’t much shame and didn’t seem to be any point in dressing up. Especially since no one else did. These days I still dress up to go out, but don’t see much point in dressing up just to hang out. I’m also lazy. I just found the extra tubes of hair gel that I bought on the intention of starting to gel every day again, and my New Years resolution is to do just that.
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A random thought also popped into my head this morning. And like many random thoughts, they became a train, and so I’ve decided to share it with you:
American culture seems to be based significantly on stages of your life. It seems like at every “stage”, you have an expectation of what comes next, as if every stage had its own culture. Hollywood movies and pop culture have done a really good job too, of making those expectations more tangible. Take that everyone in middle school seems to know what High School is going to be like. Take that everyone in high school seems to know what university is going to be like. Watch enough serials, and you probably know what they expect out of single working life. And the American Dream is that big middle bit, where you get married, have kids, a car or two, and a house with a white picket fence.
And it seems like many Americans I’ve met are always living life in preparation for the next stage. Oh sure, there are different directions, and stones bobbing on the current, but whatever individual direction people take, it’s still with a fairly solid idea of what comes next.
Europeans, by contrast, tend to forge their own directions. They might work a couple of years, take one off to go backpacking in Africa, head back to the family business to help a while, and so on. The consistent idea I see is that work and most careers tend to just be a means to an end and is easily interchangeable. Life is important, not work. Americans tend to feel that they’re synonymous, or at least linked and intertwined. Americans tend to figure that your career makes your opportunities, while Europeans tend towards life experiences as a source of opportunities. In other words, Americans figure that climbing the ladder, getting the right work experience, and having a good portfolio will get you places. Europeans are inclined to say that their time in a variety of both work and non-work related areas are fulfilling in a life sense, and that those experiences build a character that gets you places.
I’m probably wrong, and I think I’m being biased against Americans, but this is from my observations so far.
December 23rd, 2007 at 6:40 am
Speaking of American stereotypes, this thread wouldn’t be complete without some pictures!
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April 11th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Priyanka and Cynthia,
my mother dresses her best attire + make up, too.
on that note, a friend of my friend when came to US as an exchange student brought with her two pairs of shoes which are considered normal in Korea–fancy-looking and with heels if you know what i mean. Not very comfortable XD.
Then after seeing that she is the only one at school to wear those, she asked her mom in Korea to ship one of her pairs of sneakers to US.
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April 12th, 2008 at 4:11 am
Dressing up: It depends on who you compare.
Try comparing an American businessman with a British one. And we are talking about comparing the ones who are reasonably highly positioned in reputable companies. We aren’t comparing rubberband salesmen here.
You’ll see that in general, American businessmen are far better groomed and well-dressed than British ones who have this kind of tired shabby look to them which is kind of charming in its own way, but not the best example if you want a role model for good grooming.
But then some people would say that the Brits aren’t European and are British - so I guess you’re right, Dan.
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April 12th, 2008 at 4:15 am
Life plans:
I think this partly is due to what society permits too.
In certain countries it’s almost impossible to get back on track if you fall off once, i.e. Japan…maybe the US to some extent.
Europe has a far more permissible environment where people can do manual labor for a few years then go to college (for free or use state funds to pay for tuition etc) and then get a white collar job. Stuff like that.
I don’t think you can really do this in Japan to this day.
You have to stay on course and do everything at the right age or you’re gonna be in a lot of trouble career wise.
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April 12th, 2008 at 4:21 am
Yes, Lina, I noticed that when working in London. People openly talked about ‘their station in life’.
I also heard a lot of talk about ‘class’ and how one doesn’t do something in a certain way if they’re not this class or that class.
It was ridiculous because it severely curtailed your freedom of choice. You were supposed to drink a certain type of alcoholic drink, go to certain kinds of sport games, wear makeup only at night (and let the UV ruin your skin???!!!), drink tea made from tea bags because ‘posh tea’ was silly, blablablablabla and blabla.
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April 12th, 2008 at 4:38 am
By the way I do dress up for flying long haul trips because it makes it easier for the ground attendants to upgrade me to business class. I guess if I already had a business class ticket I wouldn’t bother but you know…it’s kind of expensive!
Did you know that when there’s double booking and ground attendants have to move someone from economy to business or first, they look at everyone in the queue to see who looks like they could afford a business class ticket?
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April 12th, 2008 at 9:52 am
This is true for Korea as well.
You have to stay on course and do everything at the right age. Also, if you don’t graduate from a reputable university in Korea, you could be in trouble carer wise even if you graduated from one of the world’s top ranking colleges. ex) IVY leagues, Tokyo University–This is when you want to work under Korean companies and school systems. Employment under foreign companies in Korea would be another story
I think this is mainly because of the strong upperline-downline (in Japanese that would be “senpai-kohai”) relationship. Alumni of reputable universities take care of the careers of the latter alumni. I think “who you know” is the key in career.
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April 12th, 2008 at 10:05 am
I didn’t know about that. But I do know for sure–Korean treats you differently based on how you are well dressed. ex) supermarket counter, gas station, etc.
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July 3rd, 2008 at 1:06 pm
In England, although there are BILLIONS of companies offering you this and that and education advice and career advice, a big problem is debt because everyone wants to live glitsy lifestyles (like they see Americans doing). Also lots of people live on the same street or city as their brothers, sisters, parents and grandparents because everyone’s scared of moving away. IF they go to university it will probably be in the same city they grew up in, not because it’s a good one but because its easy and they don’t have to think to much.
That’s another thing about most English people. They can’t see outside the box. As soon as I open my mouth and say something about India they ALL mention curry, do that weird head bobbing thing with their arms above their head, and then go ummmmmmmmmmmmmm, and pretend to be meditating! I think that’s the main difference between the English and the American’s - the English are far more close minded.
Anyway, because everyone thinks it doesn’t matter if your in millions of pounds of debt, no one bothers with their education.
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