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Trouble Communicating
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hello everybody,
I was talking to a friend a few months ago, a fellow TCK, he comes from an Argentinean family, but his family moved to Irak when he was a kid, then to France and then to Nigeria where he attended the French school. He is severely dyslexic which made his life hellish…to say the least. The thing I found the most “worrying”…for lack of a better word, is that he cannot communicate properly with his parents…they do not speak French and his Spanish is difficult, so is his and their English.
I was wondering, do any of you guys have trouble communicating with your parents? I mean not only on a daily basis, but on a deeper level, do they REALLY understand you when you speak, the more intricate depths of “your” language, the one you feel in, the one you cry and are miserable in?
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7 Responses to “Trouble Communicating”
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March 3rd, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Yes, but only with my dad.
Not just the language, but we have different cultural perspectives. It’s interesting lol
Anybody else?
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March 3rd, 2008 at 5:21 pm
I was once in a religious discussion with my mother (proclaimed Christian), where I brought up the idea of the many religions around the world. It was pretty brief, fairly calm, and ended with her stating quite sternly (and with a straight face), “it’s not like there are any other religions Jerry.”
That is but one of the many immense divides that make it difficult for us to communicate effectively about anything more than the weather. We really seem to come from different worlds. (mine’s Earth, I’ll leave it to popular vote which one she came from!) I have no problem with people having strong beliefs. Blatant ignorance though…that’s always sad to see. We get along ok, but, to use Brice’s polite description, it’s “interesting.” I think this close-minded my way or the highway mentality has been the root of more than one major conflict throughout history.
My Dad tended to approach things with a bit more common sense and reason. We got along fairly well even though he was a farmer and I’m a tech nerd.
My hope is to approach my own children with my mind a bit more open (though I’ve already deployed the occasional “back in my day…”). For that, I should probably be slapped.
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March 4th, 2008 at 2:26 am
lol ‘back in my day…’ is something that comes out inevitably after a certain age. I guess so long as we don’t justify things just because that’s the way they were when we were little with no rational evidence to back it up, it’s not THAT bad
Stuff I think is ok to say:
Back in my day…..there were more fish in the rivers and nature was more abundant.
Back in my day….HIV was still not known.
Back in my day…the world was still full of hope that things would get better.
Stuff I think isn’t ok to say:
Back in my day…women still knew their place in the house! Now you listen to me young lady..blablablah :p < —Somehow this daughter is also expected to go to university and get a degreee AND ALSO be a good housewife haha
Actually it’s not that funny - many women in my generation were treated in this way exactly. Not only were we expected to compete with the boys to get degrees and get jobs but we were supposed to be perfect housewives and ‘know our place’. Small wonder many women of my generation have some issues in their heads about gender equality….
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March 4th, 2008 at 4:33 am
On a more serious note, I did have problems trying to communicate my frustrations among other things to my parents in Japanese. It’s normal for teenagers and parents to be unable to communicate properly but I think language got in the way too. I didn’t have enough vocabulary in Japanese to express the full scope of what I wanted to say.
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March 6th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
I have trouble communicating with my dad, I think its’ got to do with the fact that we haven’t lived in the same country for nearly 2 decades, or maybe with the fact that he lives on mars…I’m not sure
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March 9th, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I feel like the communications problems I’ve had with my parents are due to both of us lacking the TCK experience concepts. I share two mother tongues with both parents, culture and all. Sometimes we even switch languages to use a culture that fits communicating the point better. Can’t say I’ve ever felt like the language per se was a problem.
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April 3rd, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Yes- all the time. Though I would say that language is the least of our worries, there are definite cultural differences between me and my mother. Often at my school, I’ve noticed that she is always with the american parents, or even foreign parents, talking about america, while my chinese friends try to teach my mexican friends how to speak japanese.
)
It’s more just a difference in mental setups- she always says that if something goes wrong, we are going back ‘home’ to california. I have always felt that if something goes wrong here in paris, we could always just settle down and stay here. or spain. or italy. or sweden.
but I would have to say, that language would be the least of our issues, unless we’re speaking french. (I’m better
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