I do feel that moving and living in another country - as an adult - changes you. Of course, there will be limitations placed, but overall, you change. Your perspective of the world, of what hunger truly is, of what lack of civilization is, of what genocide is like, etc. - all are changed when you live outside your passport country for a length of time.

My folks lived in Irian Jaya for 37 years - same station for most of these years. When they came back to the US to retire, they initially did NOT want to admit they no longer fit it, that they were lonely, that people didn't understand them, or that they didn't "get" the language anymore. In fact, they were pretty adamant that they were NOT like us TCKs.

Now...10+ years of living here in the US (same house for those years) and they now admit - they were changed dramatically by living overseas. There is always a "campur-ing" of languages (campur is Indonesian for "mixing up"), as there are certain words/expressions which we learned overseas for which there is no equivilent in the English language.

My mom admits now that the only adults with whom she can converse without having to be asked a lot of questions are folks they worked with while overseas, or people who have done similar work in other 3rd-world countries. She has a much better and more clear understanding and insight into what I experienced when I arrived in the US at age 19. But...as she acknowledges to me, I was here to help her through her transition and that that made it easier for her in the long-run.

I believe Paulette also feels that being a TCA is different, yet very similar to being a TCK.

Just m2cw.
Margie

Hey, I've been calling friends I make and people I know "TCA" and "CCA" since a long time ago! =P

I think of them as something between TCK and monocultural.

Although they don't have the TCK traits (language abilities, feeling of "foreigner in my own country", etc) carved as deepely in their emotions as we do, I have noticed that they get me much better than monocultural people.
Though sometimes I do get frustrated when they kinda act like monos.... =/

Hi Laura,

I agree with Doreen and Danau.

I think the parents don't qualify as TCK nor do they experience the entire phenomenon as TCKs do. I think the big difference is that they already fully develop their identities in their home countries. Like my own parents, they don't stumble when asked "where are you from?" It's amazing to see them without any hesitation. They also have and have maintained those "I've known you all my life" friendships that TCKs don't often have.

Yeah, my parents have lived outside Vietnam for... 30+ years, and outside the US for 20+. They're starkly different compared to their siblings who, after making it to the US, have largely stayed there.

It certainly makes a difference. My parents generally hope never to have to come back here (to the US). Their retirement ideas float between Europe and South East Asia, but they have a hard time deciding because they keep finding great places.

I guess the bigger difference is that for us, it was during our formative stages and really defines who we are. For them though, it was a large portion of their life experience, formative or not, and still defines and decides a lot of their personalities and actions.

Yeah, I kinda agree with Doreen. They certainly change, sometimes irreversibly like my mom. She used to be Japanese, but now my sister and I (who are only half Japanese) can 'act' more like a Japanese than she can. We have the ability to speak in full Japanese, whereas she tends to mix in foreign words into her Japanese without realizing. But at heart she's still very much Japanese. She'd have a hard time fitting into Japanese society now, but that doesn't change the way she thinks about herself in terms of identity.

Speaking of which, I wonder if (A)TCKs are better at keeping each language/culture we learnt as kids in separate compartments and thus switching languages and doing the cultural chameleon than TCAs? I'm good with switching all the different languages and cultures I learnt as a kid, but I can't switch accents (when speaking English) as I please because I learnt the new one as an adult. So now my accent is all mixed up. I wonder if as kids we can compartmentalize the new things we learn and switch between them at will, but as adults we need to let some of the old stuff go to make space for the new stuff.

I think my answer is no. My parents have been abroad for 25 years, but they spent the entirety of their childhoods and young adulthoods in their own country. They never had the confusion of trying to bridge the world around them to the values their family was trying to instill in them. They already had their values when they first moved abroad. While parents of TCK's most likely dont hold the exact same views that they held when they first moved (due to a larger global perspective), they dont have as much struggle with identity and I dont really think they absorb as much of the world around them as children do.

Previous discussion of this question:

http://www.tckid.com/group/cross-cultural-adult...

To reiterate what I said back then, I think there are some pretty fundamental differences between ATCK's and TCA's. My experience has been that no mater how divorced from their roots TCA's may have become, they had the opportunity to develop their sense of personal identity in a stable cultural environment which permanently affects the way they see themselves and their surroundings.

Hm, I've thought about that distinction as well - whether living outside of your culture as an adult also changes you into a Third-Culture something...

No is my first answer.

I think part of the definition of being an adult means knowing what you stand for, where your allegiances lie, and how you identify yourself within society. You could argue, that some people don't grow up, but then again, growing up sort of happens on its own. I still think you are capable of learning as a grown-up, but some fundamental things don't change.
I wouldn't be surprised, if your dad doesn't see the same problems with the question "Where are you from?" as you do, and repsectively all of us. Maybe its more of a logical problem for him, rather than emotional. It just doesn't make sense to say you're from Finland, if your life is based somewhere else(I'm guessing Finland doesn't play much of a role for youre parents, other than visiting relatives). But the fundamental traditions and values were already defined before they moved.

Another difference, is that they moved upon their own initiative, wheras TCKs don't (not necessarily involuntarily, maybe also apathetically).

I could assume, that there are some people, for whome the question "Where are you from?" carries no relevance - even though they have a place they come from, they don't identify with it. Thus your parents may have been such ones, and now being older realise that, and can articulate, that they also don't really have and answer to where they come from, because they rejected the one they had a long time ago.


For us, being a TCK is a lot more than just not being able to answer to "Where are you from?". It also brings with it problems of identity, social integration, motivation, etc... I don't think your parents have so many fundamental difficulties.

I think though, it would be interesting to further inquire your dad about other TCK topics. Since I don't see a particular boundary after which you cease to call people Third Culture Beings, there may actually be more to Third Culture Adults than I think now.
I would ask him more about TCK stuff, and find out which of it he identifies it. It would be cool if you'd post it here too.

So after having thought about it, I'd say I'm not sure, if Third Culture phenomena also apply to Adults - or to what degree they do.

Well, my parents seem to understand me better than most, so maybe they understand me on a certain level, but to the extent that another TCK would understand.

Ok
So, maybe

But Adult TCKs has greater griefs than TCAdults

I agree with u that TCAs (WOW! I just wrote out a new term!!!~~ WOW~~ JAJA) may have their own syndromes

But ATCK and TCA are different

And TCAs don't get ATCKs better than monocults

TCAs still have a pretty monocultural *perspective*