The worst goodbyes
What was the worst good-bye you ever had to say? Was it family, friends, or the country itself? How did you deal?
The worst time was when I had to say goodbye to my best friend, I was staying one year longer than she was and that year was one of the worst years of my life.
Born in Washington D.C. Lived in South Africa for one year on my parents fullbright exchange. Then lived in Venezuela for 8 years and went to Colegio Internacional de Caracas. I will be moving to Tanzania this year, and I will be going to International School of Tanganyika in Dar es Saalam. My parents are both teachers, one a chemistry teacher and one a librarian.
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10 Comments to “The worst goodbyes”
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:30 pm
My worst goodbye was a country… when I was four years old. I guess in a way, it’s a good thing I didn’t know we were leaving forever.
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May 2nd, 2008 at 6:43 pm
My worst goodbye was one I didn’t know was a good-bye until I was an ocean away from the location and my friends. Then it was too late to properly say goobye and at least have some measure of grieving. That was sooo hard, esp since I was 13 at the time…not a very conducive age for change/disruption, esp cross-cultural. Yuck.
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May 2nd, 2008 at 11:17 pm
When I left the country I considered home and stayed in one school the longest. I’d just started having a really good relstionship with the people there…I was absolutely heartbroken to find I’d have to move away from them.
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May 3rd, 2008 at 2:41 pm
When I left Jakarta for the last time. I’d lived there for 14 years, after all. It wasn’t as much the place as the people, but your friendships change without the same setting.
I haven’t seen some of them for 5 years now, though, and it was very, very hard for my first year in the US. At first I was glad to meet new people, but it was the lack of understanding of where I was coming from which bore me down over time.
Leaving the US wasn’t hard. But leaving my college here in Switzerland was. It was the kind of international community that I grew up with, perhaps even more so, so I still miss it terribly. Of course, I don’t live far away, so I go back now and then, but it changes with a lot of friends gone.
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May 3rd, 2008 at 2:49 pm
I guess for me the hardest goodbye would be a country. It was this recent move for me. My passport country, which had started out being the farthest thing from a home for me, had over 11 years turned into home. I thought I could up and move to another country without another thought, but only a few days before moving I realized that it was not going to be that easy.
The pain was incredible, but I hung in there because this was a good move for my life and my career. But it was just that sudden realization only a few days from leaving that made it so hard; I had hardly any time to say goodbye…
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May 5th, 2008 at 7:34 am
My worst goodbye was my father, when we left Nigeria in 1989, I wouldn’t get to see him until 1992. I could also say it was a country, my home, Nigeria, that would never be home again, but it broke my life and heart in half for almost 2 decades.
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May 6th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Too many hard ones over the years … but
My worst was saying goodbye to my daughter when she decided to go live with her dad in Alaska last summer. I thought she would be with me until she graduated from high school, but when my boss announced he was closing his practice and I had to move to a bigger city to find a job, she decided she wanted more familiar surroundings.
So, in the middle of losing a job, finding a job, selling a house, finding and buying a house, packing and moving, she shifted and moved north while I moved west. It didn’t hit me until we got to the airport and I said goodbye to our Australian shepherd, which she took with her. Believe me - in that moment of saying goodbye to a dog - which couldn’t even begin to understand what was happening, it brought back every painful goodbye I’ve ever had to say to friends, animals, and places.
A few months later, I gave my Yorkie to my parents, because he was too lonely while I was at work all day, and that was a hard one too - I had to hide all my photos of the dogs AND the kids for a long time so I didn’t have a constant reminder.
My daughter will be here for the summer, and I’ve found her a part-time job. She’s bringing some of her friends over from Idaho to visit a week or so at a time here, so it will be pandemonium for a few months. Hopefully, when she graduates she’ll come here for college. Meantime, my empty nest emptied a couple of years sooner than expected.
The one truth I know about life is that life is change, and you either adapt or you don’t.
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May 6th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
This TCK tendency towards change just never seems to go away either!
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May 6th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
That would be really hard!
Every single year of my life has brought surprises — some good, some bad, and some neutral, but all unforseen. You never know what’s around the next corner, and like you said, you either adapt or you don’t.
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June 28th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
they were all pretty bad.
one time i left without discussing with any1…not even my parents. Kinda let them noe very very last minute. then my frds were all heartbroken…and since one of the kids had a huge fight with me before i left they all thought it was because of tat fight. I mean yah tat fight kinda drove me to the edge of reason and was the final push but it wasnt all. It’s kinda sad tat they probably wud think i left solely because of tat fight.
After I left they were all shocked and they even had a huge fight with the guy who had a fight with me after i left. then they all apologized to me so many time on MSN… ergh tat was touching but reli sad…
another time, my parents told me last minute and just shipped me off the next morning…and they cut off all the phones and forms of connection just to make sure i can’t tell any1…why did they do tat? just because my mom is a goddamn paranoid and a stupidly introverted to the extreme person therefore she didn’t want any1 to noe about any of our family business 0_0
im sorry but THAT is sumthing i will always have this hate inside me for and i dunt care if she is my mom. cuz tat’s extremely cruel for a TCK.
Another time…I also left after a huge fight. And I was sad and unstable for like a year after that. A year later I came bak to the place I left and I saw this person i had a fight with. Then I realized how much I missed him and that I really can’t hate him. In fact I can’t live at all knowing that he’s mad at me. It was kinda stupid but after i gave him an apology card we became best frds again immediately… but i guess the whole leaving thing was worth it cuz TAT RELI TAUGHT me u dunt noe wt u got til u lose it…
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