One of the disadvantages about growing up in an international school is the fact that your friends come and go. You will always find yourself hanging out with different groups of people every 2-3 years, regardless whether you were in the same school or you have moved and went to another school.
I received all of my 12 years of schooling in international schools and if you have guessed it you will know that I don’t have friends that I am still in close touch with since I was born. Growing up in the late ’80s and early ’90s makes it very hard to communicate with friends once they leave – especially when I’ve only known them for a very short period of time. It didn’t matter whether we kept in touch or not. Even if we did, snail mail took a very long time, but it was worth it in the end. These were the days before the internet became public: before online social networking, before instant messaging, before emailing. Eventually we lost touch because our lives changed, we moved again and therefore lose an address to write to. It eventually became a game of address tag because we can never figure out each other’s new address any more.
It’s upsetting to know that you have just lost touch with a friend, it feels like you’ve just lost a friend completely, lost the person that had shared part of your life with you and now it’s gone – the memories are gone. Where can you find them? You don’t know. But what can you do? Move on.
And then…there was the internet. All of a sudden, the world seems a lot smaller; all of a sudden, those people that I have known many many many years before have found their way to me, or me to them, and then it’s not so bad any more. What’s more, the fact that they have moved actually gave me one of the coolest experience of my life – that is to run into them at a place that’s 10,000 miles away from where we first met.
And here are my stories (the names have been changed for anonymity):
1. I ran into Jane a couple of years ago in Connecticut. It was mere coincidence. I went with my boyfriend to his Church meeting and after the meeting we were just hanging around catching up with some friends. I noticed a short skinny girl looking at me and it made me a bit uncomfortable. Then I took a peek at her and was surprised at what I saw but I wasn’t sure. She reminded me of a friend’s older sister that I haven’t seen since I left Thailand in the late 90’s. I still wasn’t sure because I convinced myself “How is that possible? That was Thailand, this is Connecticut! That’s quite a distance!” But my instincts were right. She came up to me and asked me if I was so-and-so and introduced herself (she even used my legal name which I went by as a kid). I was speechless. And an even bigger surprise was she told me her sister, Jane, was coming to Connecticut to visit some grad schools. Imagine my excitement. I haven’t seen her in YEARS! Actually almost 10 years. It was the coolest thing that has ever happened to me. We finally met up and reminisced the old times.
2 . I visited Korea in May by myself to meet an old friend that I haven’t seen for 10 years and also to do some travelling. During my 4th day there I revisited a major shopping district in Seoul just to see what it’s like during the day. I did debate whether or not I should go because I’ve been there already but it was on my way to another destination so I stopped by. And I made the right decision. Right around a corner of a mall, I almost ran into a group of tourists huddling at the corner. I took a quick glance at them and moved on – except when I noticed someone that looked really familiar. At first I wasn’t sure; “Can’t be, this is Seoul!” But I took a better look at the rest of the group and realized again my instincts were right. It was my friend Maggie from high school in Shanghai with her family! I went up to her and I think I almost scared her (I actually recognized her sister first). It was an unplanned meeting – how often does that happen?
3. Being in Shanghai has its advantage – it’s now one of the major destinations in Asia and everyone wants to come. So far I have been able to meet up with a couple of old friends in Thailand (that I haven’t seen for 10 years) and also a few alumni from college that without the popular social network I would never have found them.
And just like that I realized how small the world is. That is when I finally realized that this world is a lot smaller than I think, it is just like my own backyard, just like my neighborhood. I will run into old friends regardless of where they are today because they aren’t that far away from me, they are right here in the neighborhood.
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