The Tome of Tom #1 - My standoff with a skunk or “OH GOD PLEASE DON’T SPRAY ME”
So I’m walking back to my house after going downtown to grab some coffee earlier on this afternoon. Since the front door to my house is a bit wonky, it’s usually much easier to just go through the backyard and through the basement to get inside. After wandering down the stone stairs to get to the backyard, when I notice something is off. Standing about four feet from me is a ginormous skunk.
Crap
At this point I’d frozen, and was hoping that it had T-Rex vision (If you don’t move it can’t see you!). Unfortunately, the ugly sucker was staring RIGHT at me, and it seemed to be planning its next move. I just stood there for about 30 seconds, hoping to god it wasn’t quick enough to douse me in its stinky goop. Seeing no other way out of this predicament, I started to slooooowly move back towards the stairs. The skunk was still staring right at me, and I was convinced it was either incredibly stupid or an evil genius as it hadn’t so much as moved since it saw me. It was at this point that it started to move towards me.
Believe me when I say that you will never see another person in sandals running as fast as I was when that thing started walking towards me. I was fucking booking it. Thankfully, one of the side doors on the other side of my house was open, and I made it inside unscathed. Almost, anyway. I spilled my damned coffee when I was sprinting. Unfortunately, I don’t think I can get stinky wildlife to reimburse my $3.
I think it’s high time I invest in some skunk repellent. If it actually exists.
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5 Comments to “The Tome of Tom #1 - My standoff with a skunk or “OH GOD PLEASE DON’T SPRAY ME””
August 10th, 2008 at 4:46 pm
lmao… I would pay money to watch that, haha
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August 10th, 2008 at 5:10 pm
OHH that’s just hilaaarious! The skunk musta been like, holy crap, that guy can ruuuun, dayumm. Hahaha. I would pay to watch that too, Selam.
That reminds me of the I was in the Philippines, at my grandma’s house, still a little girl, playing with cousins from Calgary. I was totally wiped out so I decided to go for a drink. They had 2 fridges there, one that worked, and one that doesn’t. We have a ‘dirty kitchen’ and an indoor kitchen. The ‘dirty kitchen’ is used for like, washing dishes and stuff and it’s like outside the house, and that’s where the fridge that doesn’t work was. Anyways, I open the fridge’s door to get some bottled water and a frgn green snake falls out of it, and onto my foot, and I run to my uncle, freaking out.
I am really not fond of wild animals
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August 10th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Since skunks are nocturnal, your stinky encounter could have been made even more exciting if he bit you. One round of rabies vaccines coming right up!
We have a HUGE male who visits the area under our bird feeder each night around 10pm. Our little fluffy gray cat just brushed up against a shrub recently sprayed with his stink, and has had a faint eau de skunk scent for the past 2 weeks. Now she only smells when she washes her paws. UGH.
BTW, a skunk fired off right by our front door last year, and the stench is indescribable. It’s an overpowering chemical stench of burnt garlic and other caustics. We literally thought that there was a bad chemical spill a couple of miles away and the fumes were traveling under the fog (we can sometimes smell the bay at night that way). We called the fire department!! They told us they got called out a LOT for this, and knew what it was when they rounded the end of our block. They were laughing and told us to call anytime.
Red faces all around…XD
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August 11th, 2008 at 4:35 am
Oh State College! Silly, silly State College!
And Annette - yikes! How did you get rid of the smell?
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August 12th, 2008 at 12:10 pm
@ Caitlin
I wiped the cat down many, many times with these nice tea scented organic pet wipes. She smelled like tea AND faint eau de skunk. It’s worn off now.
The stink bomb at our front door was even better - we have big floor fans for the few days (and nights) a year when it stays hot, and we set them up in the front door pointed away from the house going full speed. The problem is a dead air pocket right in front of the door that allowed the stench to pool right there, so the fans dispersed the stinky molecules. We felt like such idiots fanning the patio, but it helped a lot. Oh yeah, it was 2AM. Arghhhh….
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