The Nomadic Diaries: Malleability
1. Maleability
Since everyone else seems to be into blogging, I’ve descided to try it out and see if it out help me in my long term quest… of something (I don’t even have a clue at what it is anymore).
Anyways, to get straight to the point: I have been spending some time thinking as of late (which has been one of my major hobbies for the past few years)… the fact that I have been thinking isnt relevant though but the conclusions that I obtained are relevant (please bear with the fact that I dance around the topic a lot… Its an issue I have).
what I discovered though, was an explanation to two things that have been bothering me:
1. Why do people think that I am gullible?
2. Why is having a specific identity so important to me? This question in particular arose when I found myself fighting others about my self attributed TCK/nomad identity.
What I found is that through multiple moves in early childhood, I adapted by develloping an ability to easily fit into new environments; which in itself meant that I was and am a sort of personality/culture camelion(sp?). I’ve became so malleable, that people could see me as one of their own within weeks (probably months for a drastically different culture though I doubt I would be able to ever fit in as easily if I look a lot different as well; something that has happened already) of arrival into the new location if my accent did not give me away. This is an advantage in that I make less social blunders and do not insult anyone accidentally; I can easily put myself into other peoples’ shoes and understand why they think/do as they usually do.
thus, I can easily see what is expected a member of the society. I found that I can change my habits easier than many other people too… On the down side, I am easily influnced by my environment. I am easily brainwashed too (something that I use against myself in order to adjust myself). Knowing how others can use this against me I’ve been trying to make sure people wouldnt notice I mimick them.. Though those that I’ve lived with have noticed… My parents went as far as calling me gullible. But how can I change that when it is one of my main survival skills?
I found that I have been trying to do so by finding an identity unique to me; and not something I copied from others in order to adapt. Which is why I am protective of my tckishness or nomadism. A bit ago, I commented on one of the threads, saying that I found myself needing to be a foreigner so that I wouldnt have to fully integrate. Could that be not because I necessairly want to preserve my past cultures but because I want to appear as unique? less gullible? because I want to have an identity that no one could brainwash away? Or maybe it would be so that I would have a chance of living without always “impersonating” others?
Related Posts
6 Comments to “The Nomadic Diaries: Malleability”
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:17 am
I have a lot to say about this… but I don’t have much time right now, so I thought I’d let you know you’re not alone… I used to have the same problem!
I’m adaptable and have a child-like curiosity and genuine interest in people, so I’ve been accused of being gullible in the past. In retrospect, I think adaptability to the point where you lose your identity is being socially naive rather than gullible.
I believe this is part of the “uneven maturity” Ruth Van Reken described in her book.
I hope someone else will comment about this, I’m interested to know if others can relate to this issue.
(Is this spam?)
July 3rd, 2008 at 2:11 am
I’m really pleased you started your own blog. Keep writing.
(Is this spam?)
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:13 am
As a blogger myself, i recommend not numbering your blogs. But then, you’re prolly smarter than me, and so know that already. Otherwise, good post. Don’t worry about digressing. It explains your thoughts better.
Anyways..
Like you and brice, i do the same. I tend to automatically fit in that i come off gullible. You’re right about while we adapt so easily, we get brainwashed easily too.. I think that just as long as you don’t hurt anyone, you’re merely just trying to survive so why not mimick, yeah?
(Is this spam?)
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:01 am
dont bother argueing the identiy issue with the ppl who rnt TCK. they will just drive you to the edge of reason to depression maybe.
as for gullibility, honestly a lot of ppl dunt noe wt gullibility means. THey think everything and everyone who is generous is gullible. I mean there’s a girl at my school on financial aid, so I get her free lunch some times because I got like the all-year long free lunch pass. I mean it doesn’t cost me a cent so why would I care? Then all these ppl come to me going like “ZOMG she is taking advantage of u, stop buying her lunch she is totally blahblahh blah…” i just don’t get it, what the hell do u mean taking advantage of? u mean she just talks to me because I can get her free lunch? to be quite honest, I dun’t even care if that’s the case. I don’t care if she is actually just talking to me to get free lunch I am getting it for her anyways just because she is on financial aid AND I THINK SHE NEEDS HELP. plus she doesnt make me get full lunch, just a few snacks. but every1 is like ur so gullible. i am like um im not…I am just nice and generous. I’m sorry if that sounds smug but I think you are not very nice at all to just assum all these mean things about others. I know you don’t want to be gullible but that doesn’t mean isolating every1 away from you.
(Is this spam?)
July 3rd, 2008 at 8:11 pm
kristine, I’m not smarter then you… See that “1.” next to the badly spelled malleability?
everyone else, thank you for posting… Its nice to not be seen in a bad light for this particular trait of mine… And I’d love to see who else can relate and how you have dealt with it.u
(Is this spam?)
July 4th, 2008 at 5:30 am
I used to blend in as well, lik you said, just like a chameleon. In Indonesia, I had an indon acent [can barely remember what it is now] and somehow managed to drop that and immediately take on a filio accent when I moved to the Philippines. And it’s been the same with every other country. When I moved to Australia, things changed a little because : a) I hate the aussie accent because I think it sounds really rough and b) i was tired of changing my accent anyway and c) NO ONE in australia has the typical aussie accent anymore anyway!
So basically my accent and my behaviour has gradually taken its own form, and nobody really knows where I’m from anymore. I’ve been known to brag about Malaysia’s pirated DVDs, debate South Africa’s crime rate and laugh about the traffic in the Philippines all in one day with the craziest accent ever. I’m a Malaysian, and Malaysians don’t even talk to me in a Malaysian accent [perhaps because they’re unsure? lol].
So you’re not being gullible. Adapting to the lifestyle is important, especially because mono-culturals feel a little suspicious of multi-culturals. In South Africa, I was ‘robbed’ multiple times, and the one time, during one unfortunate robbery, my housemaid was held up and told that they knew ‘chinese people lived here’. Of course, I’m not saying that you should hide your race [ah man, how difficult would THAT be??] but integration to certain degree is necessary in order for peaceful cooperation and friendships with the locals. [I sound like such a reporter…]
But good blog, and keep up with the good work. =)
(Is this spam?)