The jigsaw piece that doesn’t fit
My name is Joanna but most people call me Jo.
Where to begin…..I’m 20 yrs old and originally from northern England. My parents are both British and most of my family is scattered all over England. I have a British passport but, other than my family who I barely speak to, that is the only affiliation I have with my home country. When I was 7 my dad’s job sent us to Holland where we lived for just under three years. I think this is the place I felt most at home because the entire country is so small and multicultural. I attended international school which was parfect because everyone was from a different place so we were all in the same boat of unfamiliarity together. Alas, my time in the Netherlands was short-lived and we were once again relocated to New York/New Jersey. Living in the U.S. was a very hard adjustment to make, particularly in New Jersey where the foreign kids in the school Iwas shoved into were seen as weird, different, and almost unworthy of belonging. Fast forward a year, and it was time to relocate again, this time to North Carolina where I have remained for the past ten years.
The thing is, though I love living in North Carolina (a beautiful state), I am at a total loss of national identity. I am not English though my passport says I am, but I definitely do not feel American. It is extremely disheartening and lonely thing to feel that you are a piece of a puzzle that will never fit.
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8 Comments to “The jigsaw piece that doesn’t fit”
January 18th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Hi Jo, welcome to tckid!
“It is extremely disheartening and lonely thing to feel that you are a piece of a puzzle that will never fit.”
This reminds me of the story of Mr. Roundhead. Have you read it?
Wouldn’t you say home is where the heart is? Where do you feel most at home?
Here’s your picture welcome
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January 18th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Welcome Joanna!
You’ll find there are lots of other pieces of puzzles here
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January 19th, 2008 at 5:03 am
Hi Jo!
Look at me! I’m also a piece of that puzzle!
My Passport is German. But where is my home?
I don’t really know! The only thing I know, is that it is not in Germany!
So I just say: ” AT home ist not where you live at the moment, but where people understand you”!
Wellcome here!
Toni
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January 19th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Hiya,
I guess that is our one and uniting issues, where is home? What are we? Where do we belong?
I don’t have the answer, I think we all have to find our own personal answer, because although our issues are the same, the way we live the pain and anguish is very personal and private.
I personally have had to come to terms that home isn’t neceserally where the heart is, not always, nor is it where your passport says you are from either.
Home is with you, in you heart mind and memories…
I guess the most difficult lesson for me was to accept that Nowhere is home, but I couldn’t let that define me…all I hope for is to find a place where I can be at peace and try to create my own invented home…somewhere MINE and not tainted by any of the pain of the past, somewhere I can be me, the wonderfully complex human being that we all have turned out to be…I know it sounds like utopia, but I have to hope and strive to find that peace of mind…
I think we have to force it, almost impose it, because it doesn’t come naturally. Once you find that peace hold on to it, DO not allow yourself undermine it…which is what many of us do, I believe.
Im not sure I’m helping, and as usual my posts are longer then they ought to be, sorry.
I hope that being part of something even if it is a bunch of crazy misfits as you helps, at least you are not alone
Take care love,
Jemz
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January 19th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
My parents re-expatriated to North Carolina a while back. Now their wardrobes have turned khaki. It’s a little creepy.
NC is very pretty though, much prettier than Illinois where I am
I miss trees. Any kind of real landscape really. But I can imagine it might not be a great place to be a TCK.
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February 1st, 2008 at 3:17 pm
hey Jemz, I think your comment is pretty good!
“Once you find that peace hold on to it, DO not allow yourself undermine it…which is what many of us do, I believe.”
Yeah, sometimes I do that…then when I realize I’m stepping away from the real me, I try to pull myself back again.
But yes, I think it’s hard to avoid this because (at least for me) it’s something that I’ve been talked into doing for years (being a “100% brazilian” person, when I’m so much more than that).
Let us find our peace, I say!
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February 1st, 2008 at 3:30 pm
“you are a piece of a puzzle that will never fit” - untrue! You see all the pieces that don’t fit got together and decided they should start their own puzzle.. one that is not convential at all but is so rediculously cool people will wish they could be part of the “Non-Fitting Puzzle”… and that puzzle was called tckid! hehe… Now the problem is when all the non-fitting pieces get together and theres still one piece that doesn’t fit… but i think the solution to that is, just wait a while, there are new non-fitting pieces created every day, one of them will be your “fit” hahaha.. sorry… random rant… hehe
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February 1st, 2008 at 4:24 pm
read above! i actually really like that comment. and i’d like to presume that all of us here are/were in the same boat at some times in our lives. which is probably why the tckid.com appeared.
(thank you thank you!)
i’m in an upbeat mood so i’m being a positivist here. haha.
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