The Fetal Diaries #32: Why? How? Whaaa–?
Okay, so I’ve been in Canada for.. three years and three months. And I still haven’t figured out why Canadians do what they do. I’m not saying what they do is bad or anything. It’s just weird. But who am I to say what’s weird and what’s not? Hell, I grew up watching camels run in the desert approx. two km from the living room balcony.
But honestly, I don’t get why people here try sooo hard to tan. Yes, I am poking fun a little bit here, but come on. I’m talking about friends, and I do have a little bit of the right to laugh at them. Like, okay, some people can carry the whole tanned look, granted. But some, like this particular friend of mine, looked ridiculous. She’s one of those people that tan into an almost red-ish color, instead of going brown, then loses the color (thank God, she does) in just a few days.
I was looking through the Photos application thingee-majigger on Facebook, and when I saw the thumbnail of her album, and saw her, my first reaction was, “Why, how, whaaa–?! Whoa, what happened to her?!” followed by a faster than the speed of light click on the photo. What’s funny too is that it’s only her face that was tanned. And I’m almost sure that it’s not cover up foundation that made her look like that, but how the hell did she get her face tanned red like that, while the rest of her body was still, well, white. What, did she just decide to go out wearing a sweater and jeans and sat under the sun, exposing only her face? Probably, by the looks of it.
WHY?! Yeah, I still can’t get over it. She looked more human with her normal skin colour, and not almost tomato red-ish. I swear, it’s almost the color of tomatoes. Or like the color of my ever so amazing mouse (which you probably have never seen before, but it’s red).
Oh, and the whole ‘my province is better than yours’ thing. For example, I was talking to a friend who lives in British Columbia, and I am here in Alberta. Well, these two provinces are like, right next to each other on the map, and as my friend likes to put it, BC is so much better than Alberta. Okay, so BC does have the beaches, and all the (mostly) cultured asian kids like me, but Alberta has some nice things about it too. Like the Saddledome down in Calgary. Where else on earth can you find a building shaped like a saddle? Mhmm. And okay, BC has the beautiful cherry blossoms and good asian food, but Alberta has some nice… evergreens and flapjacks.
But nooo, this kid, he has to prove that his is better. How? By telling me that their provincial exams over there are done in grade 10, unlike Alberta, where us kids do it in grade 9. Again, “Why? How? Wha–?” I don’t even see how that could be better. Bite me.
Then there’s the “OMG where are you going this summer?” Here’s how it goes, for most kids here.
Girl 1: OMG where you going this summer?
Girl 2: OMG BC!
Girl 1: No way! Vancouver?
Girl 2: Yes! You?
Girl 1: Ontario!
Girl 2: Toronto?
Girl 1: HAHA, it’s like you read my mind!
That’s how it goes. Seriously. Well, at least for the overly perky kids. There are many other cliques in Canada, so take that example convo and remove the perkiness and add some words like “Shadow”, “Darkness”, and “Death”, and you got the emo version. Not that they talk about where they’re going anyways. For all I know, all they probably talk about is death…
Oh, and yeah, that, the whole “I’m my own person” thing. So these guys try so hard to be themselves that they end up being like a clone of everyone else. Gods, help me. Like when I first got here in Canada, it was the whole “Yo, I’m cool cause I listen to hip-hop” phase. Then just before I left for Fort McCrap, it was “OMG, my clothes are from TNA, how about yours? Oh, mine’s from Armani! Wow!” phase. Then I got to Fort Mc, and somehow, the world has turned emo (not that I wasn’t emo either, but I had a reason, I hated the place I just moved into). So there’s the “I wanna die” phase. Now, it’s like, “I’m a guy and I can wear skinny jeans like girls, and can’t be called gay” phase. I mean, okay, some guys look alright wearing skinny jeans, but some guys, I’d rather see them in skirts. Really.
I’ll probably never fully understand Canada and it’s people. It’s not a bad place, just very… plain to me. If that’s even the right word I’m looking for. Probably not.. But whatever. I’m gonna end it here and read more GaijinSmash stories that Uncle Dan got me addicted to.
Alright, pc’n!
Kristine aka fetus.
June 21st, 2008 at 1:24 am
In the uk its exactly the same especially in the South West. Then again most English people do try to copy EVERYTHING that happens in America.
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June 21st, 2008 at 1:30 am
By the way, I don’t think “going red” is tanning. If that were the case, a lot of my pinky friends would be “tanned”. Red is no substitute for going darker. So I find it hilarious that someone might go red as a tomato and be proud to call herself tanned. >.<
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June 21st, 2008 at 4:12 am
Turning red is like inviting skin cancer to reside on your skin. People really should get a grip on themselves. :p
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June 21st, 2008 at 5:38 am
Exactly. If you can tan, well, great, go do it if you like. If you can’t… Just. Stop. Trying.
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June 21st, 2008 at 9:20 am
Uncle, are you saying that I should give up on my skin?! What will I do with those hours spent reflecting the rays off my legs back at the sun?! Ayako–what if cancer cures my albino-ness?!
Hate to break it to you Kristine, but I think most kinda stands true for every middle/high school experience. Right down to the cloning. Alas, I wish it wasn’t true. If nothing, don’t come down to the States, it’s kind of amplified…you should see the fights over “soda” or “pop”.
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June 21st, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Mmm, it wasn’t like that in mine.
It’s true that there are some things everywhere, there’s always drama, and there’re always hormones.
But some stuff is pretty North American, I’m sorry to say. Actually that’s not a really bad thing, because the rest of us are spared from it to some extent.
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June 21st, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Caitlin: I’m sure your skin is beautiful in its natural state. Don’t ruin it with UV! :p
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June 21st, 2008 at 2:56 pm
HAHA yeah cait! Don’t. You don’t wanna turn red. Please, no.
AND OMGGGG. SODA AND POP. I think ima settle with softdrinks >=)
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June 25th, 2008 at 6:08 pm
Caitlin, be blindingly white and be proud! Frankly, it’s high time we had an albino FEMALE baddie in a 007 movie, it could be you! (In NZ, where we get maybe one day a year above 20C, I think I’ve reached a shade of pale bordering on transparent)
Soda or Pop? Allow me to settle this once and for all by throwing in NZ’s answer to this debate: “fizzy drink” (no, I’m not making this up) There. Now, the soda and pop camps can unite and direct their ridicule at the kiwis!
Now, if you want unique, at least in terms of fashion, might I suggest some time in downtown Dunedin. Far from everyone dressing the same, it would seem to be the widely accepted opinion down here that everything really does go with anything! Cowboy hat + skirt over jean shorts with flip-flops??? Why not! EVERYTHING is fair game down here.
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June 26th, 2008 at 1:16 am
Yeah, we said fizzy drink in Indo too, and I’m not sure if that was a UK or Australian import. The conclusion I came to (with the soda and pop) thing was WHO THE BLOODY HELL CARES.
Actually I came to that conclusion when I got here. Over in Michigan I gave some serious thought to “what DO I say?”
It’s probably testament to my TCK adaptability that at some point I *did* say “pop” without thinking.
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