The Fetal Diaries #20: Violence

Posted by kristine on February 20th, 2008 | Categorized as Blog | 257 views and 5 Comments

There’s this site kinda like Facebook. Mainly teenaged Albertans (in Canada) use it. It’s called nexopia.com. Anyways, I was browsing through friends and random people’s pages and I noticed a lot of RIPs all over the site. It’s not for lost parents, or relatives, but usually of friends that died in gangs.

Just recently, a friend’s friend was killed in a stabbing over in Vancouver. Viet gangs versus Flip gangs. (Technically) I am Filipina, as you guys know, and I have friends from both ethnic groups. My friend that recently experienced the loss is also Flip, and also a TCK (went to IS with her). She moved here just recently and she’s having a hard time when she has paranoid thoughts about all her friends, Viets and Flips alike, about getting hurt. I, too, am experiencing this. Not as bad, but scared all the same.

I don’t like violence. However, most - but not ALL - gangs are all about brotherhood, and protecting each other, and I see that they hurt. In a gang fight, when someone loses someone they care about, it’s not just the side that lost someone that’s hurting. The other side feels guilt too. Sure, some gang fights are over stupid things, but some really do involve a lot of emotion, usually vengeance. It’s only human nature to feel that pain isn’t it? So why is it that people only see this as a bad thing? Maybe if you stepped in and looked at how it really is for some gangs, maybe you’ll see it involves love.

Sure, we can say that it doesn’t HAVE to involve violence. And I agree. But if you’re uncontrollable, if you’ve gone through a lot, if you lost someone over violence, wouldn’t that make you at least a bit less human? You’d want to get back at them, somehow, right? It sucks to KNOW that some of my friends are capable of things like violence. However, I understand them fully. I just wish everyone would understand it’s not all violence. When my friend’s friend died, a Facebook group was started for him. This is something I saw in the discussion board:

Ive seen too many blood baths, shootings, you name it..
Ive lost i dont know how many friends over the recent years.
If I can give any advice to you youngins….stay in school get a
good education and DO THE RIGHT THING.

If only everyone would see thast and listen. Like I said, it’s not easy to just let it go and forget when you’re hurting but dammit, if we can only do something..

Well, Imma go.

Dedicated to C.B., L.C., A.H., D.P. and M.D.

Born in the Philippines, then lived in Abu Dhabi, UAE for almost 4 years. Immigrated to Calgary, Canada (one of the most, if not THE most diverse city in Canada), but lives even farther north now (where it seems to be the opposite of Calgary).