The Fetal Diaries #11: Conformity.
con·form·i·ty 
[kuhn-fawr-mi-tee] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun, plural -ties.
| 1. | action in accord with prevailing social standards, attitudes, practices, etc. |
| 2. | correspondence in form, nature, or character; agreement, congruity, or accordance. |
| 3. | compliance or acquiescence; obedience. |
Okay, so there you go, my friends. The way I see it, don’t we all belong? Sure, we’re all different, and at some point in time, I’m sure all of us have have felt somewhat alone. But why are there labels out there? ‘Black’ and ‘white’, for example. I really don’t like it. Why is it that we all need to either mix in, or break away from the crowd. Why can’t we all just enjoy life, and let others live the way they wanna? I’m not saying be a clone, or be in a cult, or something. I’m not saying to isolate ourselves either. All I’m saying is, we can be JUST ourselves, right? We CAN be in a group, and be ourselves at the same time. It’s nice to have a ‘group’ that you can relate to, and fall back to when you feel alone. The way I see it, we just gotta enjoy life.. then again, I’m only a teenager talking, and these are only opinions.
Well, I’ll keep this short. Was just thinking.. Rant over.
Kristine aka fetus.
Born in the Philippines, then lived in Abu Dhabi, UAE for almost 4 years. Immigrated to Calgary, Canada (one of the most, if not THE most diverse city in Canada), but lives even farther north now (where it seems to be the opposite of Calgary).
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7 Comments to “The Fetal Diaries #11: Conformity.”
January 4th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
I agree, Kristine.
We all need to belong somewhere.
But where?
It’s easier to know where you belong, after you know who you are.
What do you conform to, if you’re confused about who you are?
Being TCKs, we don’t always belong to any culture, so the decision can be confusing.
We can relate to people, but we’ll never be the same.
But it doesn’t mean we belong “everywhere” or “nowhere” — we do belong to a particular group.
How do you relate to Aussies if you’ve never talked to an Australian?
I feel comfortable in multicultural groups, but it doesn’t mean I belong everywhere and have no cultural preferences.
I’m not French, Canadian, Ethiopian, or Vietnamese. But I choose to unite all these experiences, and adopt a culture by default — while remaining true to who I am.
It’s important to know how to integrate to whatever belief system you believe in, after you know who you are.
In the end, you have to make a choice.
Oh, and peer pressure and conformity isn’t just a teenage problem — adults are also pressured to conform at work, with their family, or community.
It’s much easier when you’re an adult, because you have a better sense of who you are. Peer pressure is really at a peak when you’re in your teenager years.
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January 4th, 2008 at 7:48 pm
Mhmm, well lots of questions haha.
Actually, no, they’re pretty similar lol. I’ll just try to answer it in paragraphs and ranting xD
See, Brice, the family we have is the place where you can REALLY relate to. They’re usually the ones we ACTUALLY belong to, literally. Sure, there are time it feels like we just wanna break away from them, but then again, isn’t that where you came from. Whether they’re in the other side of the world or not, they’re still THERE. Parents, brother, sister, cousin, grandparents, PETS.
If you’re confused about who you are, then you don’t NEED to be IN a group, right? You just gotta have someone - and I dunno if I’m right here, but everybody HAS to have someone in their life they trust, right?
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January 5th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Conformity is one of the major issues which I think troubles North American youth culture. There’s a lot of non-conformity attitude around… but I tend to think it’s misguided.
While you shouldn’t feel alienated for being different, you shouldn’t look down on people who are just trying to fit in. There might actually be nothing explicitly wrong with the belief system someone is conforming to, but just because it’s the majority we might feel we want to be different.
A bit of perspective might be handy in that we’re only ever different in our respective contexts, and not necessarily the world over. It’s a useful little TCK trick in that I can be British in America, or American in Britain. It’s nice, but like we imitate accents, we also like to fit in a bit too, don’t we?
One of the friends I’m travelling with is a sort of TCK. However, she doesn’t try to fit into a culture she doesn’t really understand. She plays the tourist card fully, in her words. She won’t try to get into something she knows she has no relation to… Which makes sense, but is a shame because there’s little other way to absorb a culture.
Anyway, non-conformity is overrated. Self-confidence isn’t. Just know that a person isn’t identified by a single personality set, so that if they conform in one way, it doesn’t mean that they’ll always be lapdogs. Just know yourself well enough to see what you have in common with other people, and what you don’t.
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January 5th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Okay, so that’s my blog, in better words HAHAHA kidding, but no, I agree, right?
Especially the last part there, “anyway, non-conformity is overrated. Self-confidence isn’t.”
There you go, that’s what I was tryna say hahaha.
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January 6th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
Conformity and teenagers LOL!
This issue was heavily discussed or heavily focused on when I was in high school. Some of my friends liked to NOT conform to anything and yet ironically they are conforming to something - people just like them!
Conformity or not, it’s overrated. In the States people keep saying they want to be “unique” and yet cliques are created everyday. The jocks, the nerds, the emos, the cheerleaders, those that don’t like studying, those that love studying but aren’t nerds and so on and so forth. It doesn’t make sense. If you want to be unique then remain unique! That annoys me to no end. And there are times when people would say “How come you don’t belong to a clique?” That defeats the whole purpose of being unique!
We have tons and tons of frats and sororities in my college - MAJOR example of serious conformity. Pointless.
I tried conforming before, but it was like forcing stuff down my throat. I don’t know how people do it. I am happy the way I am
I’ve had people telling me I’m trying too hard to be different o.o Geez, this is just who I am!! They’re just jealous they aren’t able to make themselves NOT conform and give in to peer pressure LOL
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January 11th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
“It’s easier to know where you belong, after you know who you are.
What do you conform to, if you’re confused about who you are?”
Brice, you’ve just explained my life’s identity crisis. I was thinking about this yesterday.
This TCK thing has helped me become much more secure of my identity, thus helping me better understand why I didn’t want to conform in my teen age and why in my early 20s I wanted to conform and now I finally want to be whoever I am.
I don’t want to conform, but that doesn’t mean I have to be an outcast or be anti-social. Does that makes sense? (it seems to make for me)
But I’m totally diverging here…this is fetus’ diary…so let’s see, a good advice to our dear fetus … always remember who you really are, don’t let others define you. But that doesn’t mean you have to be totally isolated from people (there you go, learn from my mistake
), just don’t let them get to you, you know… you are a wonderful person, you don’t need others telling you what you’re supposed to be 
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January 11th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
aww, yeah i get what you mean maira
yeah that’s what im saying though right?
“always remember who you really are, don’t let others define you. But that doesn’t mean you have to be totally isolated from people (there you go, learn from my mistake ), just don’t let them get to you, you know”
that’s what i was tryna say. right there!
heehee
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