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tck mum

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Author:
lish

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Hi! I’m not a TCK, but a TCK’s mum, and I’m joining up as I’d like to know more about being a TCK so that I know how I can best support my son. He’s only 14 months old at the moment, but had his first international move at 7 months old (though only from France to the UK), and we’re likely to be moving out to West Africa before the end of 2008.

I’m British, but have lived nearly all my adult life in France (and a year in Belgium), and it’s quite weird to be living back in the UK at the moment!

I’m looking forward to hearing about your experiences and getting any advice you can give me about how parents can help their kids!

lish


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February 26, 2008 | Filed Under General Forum 

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7 Responses to “tck mum”

  1. 1
    Brice
    Brice Says:
    February 26th, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    Hi Tish,

    Here’s a few threads you’ll find useful :)

    http://www.tckid.com/group/helpful-books-to-raise-kids-overseas/

    http://www.tckid.com/group/bilingual-parenting-my-child-is-not-confident-enough-to-engage/

    http://www.tckid.com/group/how-can-schools-help-tcks-and-secure-their-identity/

    More Q&As in Ask Uncle

    http://www.tckid.com/group/category/ask-uncle/

    I hope that helps!

    (Is this spam?)

  2. 2
    jerry
    jerry Says:
    February 26th, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    Hi lish,

    Welcome. And, I’m in the same boat (recently moved to NZ from the US, children in tow). This is a good group of helpful folks. Any questions you have will no doubt receive some constructive attention.

    (Is this spam?)

  3. 3
    Ayako
    Ayako Says:
    February 27th, 2008 at 5:40 am

    Welcome!

    Whenever you run into any specific questions about your TCKid’s odd behavior I’m sure someone here can provide you with insights on it :)

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  4. 4
    Unregistered
    lydia Says:
    February 28th, 2008 at 12:22 pm

    Hi, welcome to the adventure! It is a little scary when you first take your children overseas and away from their home culture. I took my son out of the UK 6 years ago when we moved to Turkey. We are leaving once more to Thailand in a few months, this time with a daughter in tow! She was born here and will probably never relate to her own culture. So, why am I doing this? I was a TCK and I really feel that the true stabilty comes from the family unit, the country is secondary. The benefits of travelling and introducing your children to other cultures and ideas far out weigh the negatives of a life of travel. Of course, there are always things that you can do to maintain the home culture identity, we are a mixed culture family and we try to at least keep some of the traditions going! With Internet and international TV it is so easy to maintain links and sustain national identity. Good Luck with the adventure. As parents we always will question what we do to our children. But from personal experience, it is so worth it being a TCK!!

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  5. 5
    Unregistered
    lauren a-m Says:
    April 3rd, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    Welcome to the wonderful world of tckism!
    As a tck child, I have to say, it is an amazing experience– and how nice to be starting so young! Being a tck has been the most enriching experience of my life- in addition to obviously learning about other cultures, you learn how to interact so well, and just understand human nature so much better- it will be wonderful for your child. But you asked for advice:

    1. One of the main complaints I’ve heard from tcks is never staying in one place long enough. I, on the other hand, stayed in Paris too long, and now can’t live anywhere else. So there is one thing to watch out for the fine line between home and homeless.

    2. Keep in touch. Another common complaint is always losing friends- but if you keep in touch, global friendships can extend almost indefinitely, and be very fufilling.

    3. Watch where you put your child. For years, I went to an absolutely wonderful international school, which is exactly what it sounds like. I learned so much there, and mostly from fellow tcks. Then, I went to a school back in the US, which proved a stark contrast: many people had never left the country, or the school, and were very unwelcoming of foreigners. Even though I was technically an American, my experiences kept me excluded. So, ironically, Americans are the only people whose culture I neither like nor fully understand.

    (Back on topic: ) The ‘right’ tck experience might be difficult to create, but if you do manage it, your son will have the most amazing childhood.

    Best of luck to you both!

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  6. 6
    Ayako
    Ayako Says:
    April 4th, 2008 at 12:16 am

    These days Skype is so cheap that parents can probably afford to pay for it if their children should want to call their friends in other countries.

    If it’s Skype to Skype it’s free, but Skype to a landline will cost a little bit of money (not much).

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  7. 7
    Unregistered
    Marie Says:
    April 4th, 2008 at 3:16 am

    Hi Lish!

    Welcome to TCKid and how wonderful it is that parents can now learn about TC KIDS at a young age!

    I’m a TCK, born and raised ;) and it has been possibly the most formative experience- I would not be nearly the same person if I had not grown up the way I did!

    Lydia and Lauren are both right, the family unit (whether it is traditional or not, in my case it wasn’t at all) is possibly the most important aspect of helping your child become a stable/happy/successful adult.

    Similarly, the schools (while the can be INCREDIBLE, can also have drawbacks)- I went to one particularly horrid international school for a while and if my mom hadn’t picked up on it I would’ve had many more problems than I had… my other experiences, however, in international schools were more than fantastic!

    Ayako is right- I interact with most of my friends through Skype, and other programs (which are a little too young for your little ones most likely). My neice and nephew use skype to communicate with family and use the Skypevideo which really helps my family in particular to stay well connected despite how far away we are from each other (we’re really everwhere- my sister and her husband and two children are on the west coast of the US, my brother south east of us, my mom between US and paris, my dad in the south of france, my uncle in the north of france, and I am currently in madagascar)- yet somehow we still manage to be a very close family.

    Congrats on being the proud mom of a TCK son!! If you ever have any questions there is always at least one person here who has something to say (and most of the time about 20 ;) ).

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