TCK in Colorado

Posted by GlobeTrotter79 on June 8th, 2008 | Categorized as Introduction | Tagged as American, Colorado, Fugitive, Mexican, mexico, States, USA | 195 views and 4 Comments

Hi, I’m Lily.

Countries lived: USA (WA, CA, MS, TN, OK, TX, NM, and CO) and Mexico, in nearly 50 different houses
Age: 28
TCK type: Fugitive (it’s a complicated story as you will see). Now an adult world traveler.

I am the oldest of 2 children. My sister and I were born in Washington State to a good mother and an irresponsible and abusive father. In our early years we moved to California for a year, then back to Washington. When we were about 2 and 4 years old, we began seeing less and less of our dad, who came home sporadically and often said he was going away and never coming back again. Mom moved us around to different houses, doing her best to survive as we received little or no support from our father. When we were 5 and 7 he popped back into our lives, taking us from our mom and filing for divorce and custody. Amazingly, he won.  My younger sister was being sexually abused by our father, and our mother tried in vain to get us back legally, but in the end we fled to Mississippi, becoming fugitives. By this point we were 6 and 8 years old. For the next several months, we lived in MS, Tennessee, Oklahoma, and finally, Texas, as we evaded our dad and the authorities and attempted to remain undercover. We had many close calls.

From Texas, we crossed the border into Mexico and fled well into the interior. We experienced many difficulties adjusting to the new culture and language at first, but in time we grew to love Mexico and it became a home to us. We lived there for 5 solid years, without returning to the US at all during that time. We basically stayed in the same region of Mexico, but we lived in 7 different cities and 14 different houses.  So by ages 11 and 13 we had lived in 25 homes, 2 countries, and 6 states. Luckily our schooling was consistent–we were homeschooled. Mom supported our little family with her massage therapy skills and her knowledge as an RN.

By this point our mother realized she had 2 Mexican daughters and really wanted us to become reacqainted with our own culture. So we moved back to Texas but only lived there about a month before moving north to New Mexico.  Moving back was very difficult for me as I never felt like I totally fit in with the American kids the way I had with my Mexican friends back “home.”  Talking to them about my own background seemed only to alienate them from me, until at last I began keeping my upbringing in Mexico and bilingualism a secret just so I wouldn’t lose any friends.  They probably thought I was bragging, but I was just talking about my life!  In Mexico it was ok to be different because I was the “Gringa” (American), but in the States, suddenly being different made you a weirdo–you look and speak like an American, so you’re expected to act like one, too.  We just weren’t into the materialism and the “disposable” culture.  Again, more close calls with the Albuquerque police before–2 years and 6 houses later–the FBI tracked us down and ended our 7-year-long International game of hide-and-seek.

At ages 13 and 15 we moved back with our abusive dad in Washington State, while Mom spent a few months languishing in jail. Not a pleasant year. We moved twice with him as he went through marital conflicts with his then-current wife (not surprising). After our mother’s release from jail, my sister and I began actively fighting to move back with her, eventually hiring our own attorney, which seemed to do the trick. That fall, when I turned 16, I started college (thanks a great deal to my mom’s skills as a homeschool educator–my sister started the following year at age 15). Mom re-married that winter to a wonderful man who is more a dad to me than the other fellow ever was.  Being on the young-ish side in college put me in better company, as my life experience tended to land me closer relationships with people several years my senior.  Young people my age seemed (and sometimes still seem even to this day) a bit immature to me.

During my college career I went to a community college and a university, living in 7 different homes over the course of those years, not including the summer I spent in New Mexico with friends. I majored in Spanish (a natural choice) and elementary education. Elementary ed. was probably a poor choice, because as a teacher you are really tied to a place - something I had never been before! Also, I was used to the self-paced freedom of homeschool and regular schools felt rather prison-like to me.

Spent about a month in Nicaragua and Costa Rica the summer I graduated, then embarked on a year of substitute teaching.  I signed on to teach full-time in a bilingual classroom the following year. Did that for 2 years, breaking it up with a 3-week trip to South Africa and Lesotho. I lived in the *same house* for two entire years, a new record for me! When I had itchy feet so bad I could no longer stand it, I moved to Colorado and accepted a position with the State’s Division of Child Care–a job that involves tons of driving, which is a really good thing for me–and a community college, teaching Spanish part-time. What a relief to not be tied to a classroom all day, every day! I use my vacation days each year to go on a major trip–Romania, Benin, France, Australia, Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands. I’ve also started my own business teaching short-term, intensive, job-specific Spanish classes. Scarily enough, I have even bought a house. But I’m far from settled, always dreaming of moving overseas, ever traveling.

I’m thrilled to have found this online community of TCKs and read so many stories like mine–it is SO good to know that there are people out there who can understand me!  I seriously  questioned for awhile if I was a “normal” person.  So now I know that at least I am “normal” for a TCK.  :-)  And by the way, lest you feel sorry for me for having such a difficult childhood….for the record, I wouldn’t trade it for the world!  Growing up in Mexico and being homeschooled was AWESOME and I have learned SO much about life that I would not have learned any other way.  Life is good, and I am happy! 

Are there any other TCKs in Colorado?  I am planning to get involved in setting up events, etc., for local TCKs, so I’d love to hear from anyone who is interested in that.

Lily

Hi, I'm Lily. Currently I live in Colorado. I spent 5 years of my childhood living in Mexico. I've also lived in 8 U.S. states, and nearly 50 different houses. I'm a Government employee, and part-time business owner and Spanish instructor. I spend most of my vacation time (which isn't nearly enough) traveling the world.