Should we move our kids?
Help! We have been agonizing over a decision whether to move our three kids (8-13) to Tokyo for a period of five years then with a subsequent move. We have never lived abroad before, yet our kids (after having lived in 3 diff. states) do already have some of the qualities of TCKs. Speaking from your experience…is it more important to have roots & stability OR the global experience? Thanks!
June 3rd, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Go Warona!
I have to say that I tend to reserve my opinion for fear of really getting in the way of people making their own decisions that apply to them…but what I really wanted to say was exactly that… There is no more rewarding and cultivating experience than being a TCK. It changes your perception of the world forever and in a world where…dare I use the dreaded word…”globalization” is such an important variable it is essential that people of all ages and from all places have cross cultural experiences that show them a little more of the world than their own backyard (not to sound arrogant..sorry if it did).
At the end of the day, you will make the decision that is best for YOUR family, but if you want the honest, no bullshit answer from a (or many) TCK, then the answer is most of us wouldn’t trade our experiences for the world itself.
That’s just my true two cents
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June 3rd, 2008 at 11:57 pm
You should move them!
They may not like it initially, but they’ll appreciate it once they get a bit older
It’s funny, because my professors always tells us (during lectures) that a huge part of learning and growing is spending a year or semester studying abroad. Its something many of my classmates would want to do, but have no way to. It’s something they only dream of for the most part. But I have
It’ll broaden their view of the world and other cultures. It will make them more accepting. We definitely need more accepting people around
And Japan of all places! Just imagining growing up there has me excited! experience of a lifetime. Literally.
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June 4th, 2008 at 2:08 am
Well, if it is gonna be the last two years of high school or so for your oldest child, then yeah, I guess s/he’ll encounter. I got moved my last two years, and it was actually cool. Good thing the international school I went to was pretty small and the people there were very accepting and it was great.
Just don’t move your kids in the middle of the school year. I had that, and it was one of the hardest things I had to go through in terms of my schooling.
And you’re going to Japan! I love Japan! It’s so great over there. I guess it might be a bit different for younger kids, I donno, but I was already 18 ish when I went and I love the country.
Eventually, it will be up to you and your family. Make sure your kids know the whole story and that they back the decision 100%. As Marie said, it is the best thing that ever happened to me, the benefits far outweigh the difficulties and I wouldn’t trade it for the world (pun sort of intended) =)
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June 5th, 2008 at 11:08 am
Hello!
As a foreigner I have lived in Japan at about the age of your children. Hopefully you will find my view point helpful.
First of all, I would like to emphasize Brice and Ayako’s points made above.
Brice: “If you want to know if TCKs think it’s worth it, it truly depends on how their parents reacted it.”
-> This is a reliable statement since when children are having hard times, how the parents react can significantly affect the way the feel and view about themselves and others.
Ayako: “Involving them in the decision will be good long term because then they can’t turn around and ‘blame’ their parents for everything”
-> I was involved in the decision of moving to New Zealand when my parents decided to send me there when I was thirteen. I think it worked because at that time I was old enough to make the decision. Later, many bad things happened but I never blamed parents because I knew it was my decision. But this would not have worked had I been younger.
In addition to these points, I would like to ask you the option of sending your children to local, public school vs. international school.
I have attended both but longer at Japanese public school. I am not too worried about your child who is 8 years old but the adjustment will be more difficult for the older children. The main reason being “kanji” which is the Chinese characters taught to students from grade 1. Their peers would have accumulated the knowledge and understanding of kanji while your children will have to catch up with the years’ gap of not having learned this. I have to say, catching up is definitely doable! and I have no regrets having attended Japanese public school because that was one of the best experience I had in my life!
While Japan is a challenging place for the repatriated children, it is open and more welcoming towards foreigners, especially Caucasians.
Also, the Japanese education is one of the world’s best. Japanese students score world’s highest on math and science (I will look up the source later).
International Schools, on the other hand, can provide the American education your children will be missing out. For instance, U.S. History, American Literature, Physical Education (what you learn is very different from Japanese elementary schools) will be all taught in English, not to mention the format of writing letters in English. Your children will be taught Japanese in a Japanese class, but I have to emphasize that this class is not enough to improve the language! Yes, it will help learn the language but I have come across many who have lived in Japan for many years but cannot speak enough Japanese to feel confident (-> This can affect their self-esteem).
I think it really depends on how you would like to raise your children. It will be challenging, but if you put the right resources and finances, you can make the best out of living in Japan! I highly recommend private tutoring in whatever area your chilren will be lacking (ex. tutoring on kanji, math, American history and literature, etc.) after you have made the choice of school.
Please feel free to ask any questions or address any topics of discussion.
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June 5th, 2008 at 11:28 am
I also thought you may find this helpful.
Japanese Public School is free while International Schools are very expensive. Information on Japanese primary and secondary school can be found at:
http://www.country-data.com/cgi-bin/query/r-7143.html
The following are the ranks made as the results from the 2000 Program for International Student Assessment of 15-Year-Olds in Reading, Mathematics, and Science Literacy.
OECD/PISA Study:
Reading Literacy: Japan #8, US #15
Mathematical Literacy:
Japan #1, US #19
Scientific Literacy:
Japan #2, US #14
(source: http://www.siteselection.com/ssinsider/snapshot/sf011210.htm)
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October 30th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
Don’t do it.
Please.
Wait.
No.
Stop.
…they never listen. When your kids grow up as TCKs and their lives begin to fall apart, remember, you raised ‘em. Not their fault.
Japan was NEVER open to foreigners. They despise them. Your children will go through hell. The education system will eat them up and spit them out and never blink an eye.
But hey, what do I know? I’m just a TCK…
If you’ve moved them so much in their lifetimes already, GO BUY A HOUSE AND STAY THERE. Moving around more is not the solution to your problem.
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