Are You New? Join The Most Active Community for TCKs/CCKs >>
Want to be notified of new posts? Get the RSS Feed or Register by Email

Repatriation/Expatriation

Unregistered

Author:
Isa

This post has 214 views




Hey everyone!

I was just wanting to ask your advice: I have not moved around as much as other TCKs and moved to Australia when i  was 6-7.  Do i repatriated young. So ive lived here for a long time — i’m 19.

And i need to get out of here but i’m also terrified to go. I’m terrified that i won’t like being in France again (went on exchange when i was 15 and my host fam. were not very nice) and that it wil lall turn to crap. But i can’t stay here.

I want to go somewhere that i speak the lang but am “obviously” a foreigner? Can anyone understand this?  This way i won’ have to lie or cover up when i don’t know a social cue or whatever, it will be known why i don’t know it.

I do and i don’t want to go back to the USA — i’m scared of “Repatriation” of sorts (citizenship, no familial ties) as i have not lived there and i have no family there.  But i feel that i need to go back to LA to… not eally face my demons but to stop myself thinking that i’ll fit in there that its my ‘home’ — because i know that i wont fit in, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting it on some level.

Can anyone relate? Thoughts? Ideas? Song lyrics? Anything?


What do you think of this post?
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

April 17, 2008 | Filed Under General Forum 

Related Posts



Comments

3 Responses to “Repatriation/Expatriation”

  1. 1
    Unregistered
    Marie Says:
    April 18th, 2008 at 4:35 am

    “I want to go somewhere that i speak the lang but am “obviously” a foreigner? Can anyone understand this?”

    Hi Isa,

    I know what you mean by this. I feel this every day… actually I’ve essentially molded my studies and career choices over the idea that I feel most comfortable in countries where I’m an obnoxiously obvious foreigner ;).

    As for France, things are difficult there right now (it’s where i’m “from” but if you have a job lined up and your own place to stay- unless your still studying in which case i should say if you have a school lined up and a place to stay- then you should go for it. worst case scenario you find something else. Plus, Europe is a very diverse place, if you don’t like France you can take advantage of your time there to find something in a nearby country etc. Plus, if you speak French and English you have possibilities in at the very least england, france, switzerland, belgium, etc.

    As for LA, it is indeed an interesting place. And I know a lot of people who love it because it’s so quirky and unique- a lot of people that I know who feel like they “never fit in” kind of do…but a lot of those ppl are monoculturals so I don’t really know the validity for TCKs. My sister lives there and while there’s not a very big French community she seems to have found her niche.

    Ultimately, no one can make the decision for you (I know, cop out). Personally, I’m a firm believer in “try anything, the universe/god/whatever you call it will ultimately guide you to where you need to be. If it feels right, go for it.

    I felt like you did regarding LA about going back to France. I still do, actually… and I am pretty sure that I’m going to follow my gut and go despite that it might result in my own further alienation from my home culture. Ultimately you’ll never know until you try. You never know if, once in LA, you’ll find an opportunity in some random country that ends up being perfect for you. It’s true you might repatriate to Australia but who says that you’ll feel the same about it or even that you’ll stay long?

    So yeah, that’s my two cents. I say go with your gut, with what you feel you need to do. I did that for university and it ended up being the best choice I have made in a long time…..often your gut knows better than you (figuratively…not literally…although sometimes it really does).

    (Is this spam?)

  2. 2
    mairabay
    mairabay Says:
    April 18th, 2008 at 12:50 pm

    hey Isa
    I totally know how you feel
    I also repatriated when I was young (7) and have been living in my “home” country ever since.
    And I also feel like I desperately need to stop living in the “Hidden Immigrant” box.

    My “second” culture is the UK. And I kind of feel about it like you feel about France. I don’t want to go there and “risk” it being bad, different from my childhood memories. I don’t want to “stain” the good memories I have from there. Maybe because if it happens I’m afraid I’ll be without a “country where I was happy” (cause obviously I don’t feel happy here in Brazil) - sounds silly and nonesense but that’s how I feel.

    I know I’ll have to go there eventually and work these feelings out but right now my plan is to go to Canada. It is similar to the UK but not exactly the same (new country, new life). I think I will be able to pass as a Canadian (be in the Adopted or Mirror(?) box) because I know many things from the culture there, but I’ll also be ALLOWED to be the Foreigner when I want to (something that’s impossible for me here in Brazil).

    Maybe it could work for you too (you speak English and it will be obvious (cause of an Aussie accent) that you’re not Canadian!). But if you feel you need to go to LA and work things out, then do it.
    Like Marie said, do what your gut tells you too and trust God/whatever that it will lead you in the right direction and you’ll work your cultural identity out.

    (Is this spam?)

  3. 3
    Unregistered
    MsMerising Says:
    April 19th, 2008 at 8:59 am

    lol…

    I relate to this story. I am born of Croatian parents in Australia. We moved ALOT and everytime we moved we went somewhere more Anglo and less “Ethnic” so the racism I encountered left a bad taste in me for Australia for life.

    When I was 19 I moved to Canada. 3 years later I went back to Australia and suffered very severe depression. Because of that I made some horrendous choices which took me life down a not-so-nice path. I ended up in America and I currently live in Los Angeles.

    You should never be scared of change. It took nearly 2 years to make friends in Canada but those 3 years were the most rewarding I have ever known. Every city has things you love/disdain. And every city is different (I can’t stand Australia, some love it to death). But I will say if you do not attend college it can be difficult to meet people here. Granted, I have a small child which complicates making new friends (and being CCK does not help) however, I enjoy L.A.. Maybe you would like NYC better? The people in general are more outgoing and open to interact. You are 19, a great age to build a new life for yourself. I say swallow the fear and approach it like an adventure. But don’t go somewhere closed and fearful. Go somewhere determined to get the best experience possible out of it.

    Peace

    M

    (Is this spam?)

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.