Preya: Dreaming of Hanoi
Hi Everyone!
My name is Preya, and I am a TCK. That’s the first step, right? Admitting you have a problem? Actually, I love being a TCK, but on some days it feels more like a disease than a privilege. My story really begins with my mother’s story, so I will paste a piece I wrote about her book:
I like to say that my love affair with Vietnam began long before I was born, with a mother dangerously attracted to war zones. It wasn’t, though, the war that drew her there in the early 1970s, a time of escalating violence and chaos. It was the far simpler desire to bring home the children she was in the process of adopting. Her book, After Sorrow Comes Joy, is, in essence, the story of why she ended up staying and the person she became because of it. It is the story of her transformation from an Indiana farm girl to an international figure of courage and compassion.
In a sense, Cherie Clark was forged in the violence, terror, and desolation that was war-torn Vietnam. But what emerged was not something ugly. It was pure, with a singularity of purpose: she became a visionary who saw the power of hope and its refusal to perish amidst the gravest of human suffering. In 1975, when she was forced to leave Vietnam in the panicked exodus before the Fall of Saigon, she carried that hope with her, along with a determination to keep it alive in others.
My mother has yet to write the sequel to her book, about her journey to Calcutta, where she was invited to work with Mother Theresa. While in India, she met my father, had my sister and me, and founded the International Mission of Hope, an organization that boasted one of the finest neonatal care facilities in the country, and, in its twenty-five years of operation, saved countless lives and found loving homes for more than 5,000 orphans. She has also yet to write the story of her return to Vietnam in 1988 and her subsequent decision to move to Hanoi in 1992 with her two youngest children, my sister Shauna and me. She continues to live in Hanoi and dedicate her life to humanitarian causes.
While I wasn’t forced out of Vietnam amidst exploding rockets, clutching dying babies in my arms, I did leave after finishing high school with a great deal of sadness and uncertainty as to when I would be able to return. I know that I will, like my mother, find my way back to the country that may not have given birth to me but certainly raised me and taught me how to love, to dream, and, most of all, to hope.
(I now live in Colorado and teach high school English literature. I am also a full-time graduate student, earning my M.A. in Curriculum and Instruction in the Humanities. Unlike most of my friends, who moved every couple of years, I stayed in Hanoi for the most important years of my life. Hanoi is 100% home. However, I should say that I was always a part of the international, expat community in Hanoi, and that’s still the community with which I identify most strongly.
I have a blog on which I routinely whine and complain about how much I miss Hanoi and international life! Read more at Dreaming of Hanoi.
Glad I joined!
I was born in Calcutta, India to an American mother and Indian father (I speak Bengali, but we’re actually from Mussoorie, a small town in the foothills of the Himalayas). I spent my early years being shuffled between Colorado, India, and Thailand. In 1992, I moved to Hanoi, Vietnam and attended the United Nations International School until my graduation in 2000. I now teach English literature to 150 high school students in Boulder, Colorado. I’m also a graduate student earning my M.A. in Curriculum and Instruction in the Humanities. I'm planning on moving back to Hanoi in about 6 months!
Related Posts
10 Comments to “Preya: Dreaming of Hanoi”
December 17th, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Welcome here Preya! I am also so glad you joined. I will have to get a copy of that book. Maybe if Iam extra sneaky I can purchase it for the library here and then read it before I enter it into the computer. After all the librarian should read every book right
Well I look forward to seeing you in the chatroom maybe and seeing what else you have written.
(Is this spam?)
December 17th, 2007 at 3:43 pm
Welcome to tckid, Preya! Ah, dreaming of Hanoi. It’s such an honor to have you here. I remember reading your blog last year when I first discovered I was a TCK and falling in love with it. Many of your posts stroke a chord in me and I could relate to a lot of what you’ve written, I think you’re an excellent writer. There are a few TCKs from Vietnam here and many writers, so I hope they’ll enjoy your writing here as much as I did.
I’m really looking forward to see you contribute to the group and continue sharing your experiences, because I know we’ll all benefit from your insights and stories. Actually, you know what would be a good idea? Maybe you could share some of your TCK related writings in the blog category.
http://www.tckid.com/group/category/blog/
We have a tradition here to welcome every newcomer with a picture, and here’s yours
(Is this spam?)
December 17th, 2007 at 5:40 pm
Welcome to tckid Preya! Nice intro, I couldn’t have done better xD
Anyways.. your mom worked with mother theresa? That’s cool. Ever met her? Sorry I ask too many questions lol.
Well, welcome to this place and hope to talk to you soon
(Is this spam?)
December 17th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
Hey there, I just joined too
When I saw the vietnam flag, I had to click right away! Only to find out that you are not only the same age i am, but was in Hanoi the same time I was (I was there from 1990 to 1996). We must have met, but not made friends. When I went to see your blog, I had a look at your facebook profile, we have 9 friends in common. And Shit! I saw your UNIS pics (I was at the French school) But in the pics, you guys hang out at the exact same places we did and I know most of the people on them. especially my next door neighbours in Nghi Tam clementine and alex! And I even saw my ex girlfriend Julie on a picture behind clem wearing camo at polite pub! Saw pics of Thai and other UNIS friends I had too. Brought me back memories of the swedish camp and all the crazy things we used to do at 12, 13 and 14. I think It was the wildest time of my life. Even if I left at 14 yo in 96, I came back every year cause my mom still lives there.
By the way, you can look though my facebook profile (Chi-Minh De Leo) and find clementine and Thai. Maybe more…
Anyway, I came back to work and live in Vietnam almost 3 years ago now, but am in Saigon, my mom still lives in Hanoi. Hanoi has changes so much, each and every time I come back it is completely different. I still keep many friends from that time, some are even living in Hanoi today!
Thanks for unintentionally taking me back all those years! Take care!
(Is this spam?)
December 17th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
Wow Chi, this is another small world story happening right here. I love it when this happens!
(Is this spam?)
December 17th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
Julie–Thanks for the welcome! Hope you get to read the book:)
Brice–Thank you, and I love the kitty, so cute.
Kristine–Thank you! Yes, I met her several times. She was my sister’s godmother. I was too young to appreciate it at the time, but now I know how lucky I am.
Chi-Minh–I remember you…kind of! I go back to Hanoi quite a bit and usually see Thai. My mother still lives there as well. I will be back in less than two weeks; will you be there? We should meet up. It’s a small world, huh?
Thanks everyone!
(Is this spam?)
December 17th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
By the way, Alex is there right now! I just saw him last month…we need to all hang out!
(Is this spam?)
December 17th, 2007 at 10:48 pm
Hey, just wrote a post but lost it AGAIN! everytime I post something here I’m not signed in and loose it, happened each and every time, I know my own fault but anyway…
So… are you talking about Alex Seton? He in Hanoi? I’ve lost contact with him a long time ago, I just remember playing basketball, playing pool at his house…
small world yes! I won’t be in hanoi cause I live and work in hcm now, but my brother is there for the holidays, as well as, on your friend’s list: agata (that I see quite often as she owns a Nepalese restaurant in saigon), gideon, duy (just came back to hanoi to work)
We’ll all hang out one day, as many people seem to come back all the time!!
(Is this spam?)
December 17th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
As an emigrated Vietnamese, I have to say “Wow”, haha. I’m not very good at being Vietnamese, but it’s there.
Next time I’m in the country I should let you two know, yeah?
(Is this spam?)
December 29th, 2007 at 4:51 am
Here’s one of my favorite posts from Preya, I read this last year when I discovered I was a TCK! I even saved it in my files haha
“In some ways, I’ve always felt like a freak. I am always straddling categories; not quite an expat, not quite an American, not quite Indian. Not quite any one thing for sure. Even among TCK’s, the category in which I feel I most belong, I am the odd one out. Most TCK’s I know moved every couple of years, so they don’t feel so strongly about one place like I do; many of them, in fact, feel the need to relocate often. In the tiny international school I went to in Hanoi, I was the odd one out, the one who had spent the most time in Hanoi and felt the most tied to the place.
This freakishness, I’ve realized, leads me to be overly, perhaps unhealthily, attached to my past. I cling to the place I grew up in, the things and people I grew up with. This is heightened by the fact that Hanoi is changing so rapidly. I can’t help but feel possessive when “new” expats talk about Hanoi like they know the place, even though they probably know it better than I do now. I want to tell them about Hanoi 15 years ago, about the the way it felt to see the skyline change, streets expand, restaurants bloom across the city. I want to be around people who knew how it was “back then,” with whom I share so much history”
(Is this spam?)