Want to be notified of new posts? Get the RSS Feed or Register by Email
Parents’ Career and a TCK’s Self-concept
This post has 273 views
Ah, the decisions of parents and effects those decisions have on their children. My parents were missionaries. Even though we moved to various countries, I knew what was expected of me in each place…overseas from the US. The problems began for me when we moved back to the States, and I thought my parents weren’t going to be missionaries again.
So…what was I now? A “retired” missionary kid…at the ripe ol’ age of 14?
Have any of you had an identity crisis (no, wait, lemme finish, I’m going to be more specific…) over your parents choosing a different career path and the expectations that put (or didn’t put) on you?
Btw, they did become missionaries again, but only after I had survived(as best I could) the fires of US high school. Which actually confused me even more, in some ways…
What do you think of this post?
(No Ratings Yet)
Loading ...
Related Posts
Comments
4 Responses to “Parents’ Career and a TCK’s Self-concept”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
-
Top Commentators
- Ayako (781)
- Cynthia (554)
- miyon (505)
- Uncle Dan (502)
- mairabay (368)
- kristine (363)
- MsMerising (279)
- mmmmmm (249)
- marie (229)
- Cattt (224)
Polls
Loading ...
March 31st, 2008 at 6:10 pm
My parents are Asian, and my dad works in Business. For much of my life, my parents hoped to shape my sister and I into the same mold. Part of this was from Asian culture and tradition, because the purpose of life according to Asians is fulfilling your obligations to your family. Work hard, make money, have kids, and provide opportunities for them through your success, meanwhile taking care of your elders in their old age. The other part was personal experience. They were doing far better than their original peers, having pursued this career.
A lot of things I thought were just innocent activities, like Tennis, or learning Mandarin, were in actuality to “train us for the business world”.
As a result of reverse psychology, my sister has run headlong into academia. I was headed in that direction, but have suddenly fallen into a business degree and discovered that it’s not bad. So it was a bit of a funny turn of events.
(Is this spam?)
April 4th, 2008 at 10:19 am
I had a little bit of a crisis when my father died when I was 20.
Until then I was the daughter of Dr. S. Yoshida, Department Head of Plant Physiology at the International Rice Research Institute. We had a memorial service in the Philippines and in Japan. A lot of people came to his funeral and the entire street was flooded with people. A small article about my dad passing away appeared in the papers…and then he was really gone.
I became a fatherless child…which isn’t good because companies generally don’t like people who don’t have fathers (in Japan).
Anyway this all happened within 2-3 years so it was really a bit too much for me. My mom wasn’t what she became later on either still. So I was just the daughter of a dead man as far as Japanese society was concerned.
Later on my mom became a non-fiction writer and one of her books actually made the charts - so I became known as the daughter of this quirky old lady who wrote books.
Although I was an adult by then and had my own life apart from my mom - you can’t really say these things don’t affect you at all because people who you don’t even know will behave in a certain way toward you just because you’re the child of this person.
I guess to some extent - in certain circles, I still do try to behave in the way that people expect me to as the daughter of my father or the daughter of my mom…lol
Thankfully in Spain people don’t know who they are and I’m freeeeeeeee.
Well…it’s not all good. I’ve had people behave in unimaginably rude ways to me (something I’m not used to) and as you can imagine stuff like that can shake you up a bit when it first happens.
Then I tell myself - well I’m nobody here, and not even white, so people would treat you like a piece of dirt on the road! Just have to get used to it! :p
Note: It’s not like they were very well-known but you move around in small circles usually where your parents are known right? It’s only when you move continents that you are really exposed to the elements.
(Is this spam?)
April 5th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Ayako,
I know what you mean about the small circles that parents move around in. Even though we were out in “the world” as opposed to the US, it was scarier for me to move back to the US, because that small circle intimacy/intensity was lost.
Once it was lost for me in the US, I put myself on self-imposed TCK-no-longer exile. I distanced myself from my “MK-ness”, and jumped into binge drinking in high school.
This website for me is one of the ways I’m “returning” to my TCKness. As I write, my eyes are filling with tears with that realization…Thank you all of you for helping me. You all are amazing, with your insights, common experiences, and encourgements!
(Is this spam?)
April 6th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Kristina,
I am an MK to Asian parents and when it comes to my identity crisis, it gets a bit complicated. This might be a little bit off the tangent, though.
My parents are missionaries but when we moved to USA, everyone saw me as a PK (Pastor’s Kid). My parents worked with a Korean community in Chicago. Rather than the typical form they we see of foreign missionaries working with the native people, my parents worked with the first generation Korean immigrants (people from their home country). When we moved to the States, I had no true knowledge of MK struggles (I had no concept of TCK issues until college). I only knew that PKs have struggles on their own. My inner being was screaming that I was more than the PK that they see. It didn’t occur to me until later that my parents’ occupations could affect the way people viewed me and how I questioned and shaped my identity.
(Is this spam?)