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Hi everyone, I was told about the TCK book and term by a friend who has TCK children. I never really considered myself one, but I guess reading all that is said here is proof enough to me that “Yes I am one, too”.I am 37, born in Germany, moved to Lagos, Nigeria when I was 6, moved back to Germany when I was 9, moved back into the bush of Nigeria (Ikot Ekpene) when I was 10 and returned to Germany when I was 12. When I was 17 I went to the US for 7 months to travel, also because my parents where going through divorce and times were rough at home. I came back to Germany to finish the Abitur, went to Uni, got my degree in Graphic Design and immigrated to Nova Scotia, Canada a year later. 5 years ago I met my husband and I moved from Nova Scotia to Vancouver Island. Right now we are sort of getting ready to move again, this time into the wilderness in a couple of years. I have been working as a freelance designer for an international publisher in Germany and the States.The second time we went back to Nigeria, there was no school for me (contrary to what my father had believed) and I already was in grade 5 in the german Gymnasium and it would have been unthinkable to not continue school, but, hey, if there is no school, there is no school, escpecially in the Nigerian jungle. So I spent my days riding my bike around the camp, playing ping-pong with whoever I could grab, and swimming in the pool until my skin was wrinkly and mom had to make me stay out of the water. I also started to grow my own vegetable garden and was hanging out with the dogs in the camp, since I was the oldest one of the children and everybody else was still too little. After a couple of months I was stuck into an american missionary school in the area, run by two of the mothers. Then we met old friends from Lagos by chance again, and my journey to get proper schooling continued, I now had to stay with a dutch family and their two little kids, and every morning the school bus would come and take me to the German School in the Horicon Camp in Port Harcourt. On the weekends we would make the 3 hour drive back to the camp where my family lived. In the German School I became friends with a boy, who was a single child and I had to pack my stuff again and moved in with his family. FINALLY, a german teacher was flown in and now we had our own little school building on the top of the hill, only to have to leave the country a few months later due to political unrest and death threats.Both times in Nigeria, I remember all too vividly, how we had to pack up in a few hours, leave our dog and belongings behind, get weapons and get the hell to the airport. And I couldn’t understand how our guard, whom we kids had been hanging out with all the time, all of a sudden could turn against us and wanting to kill us … I also remember seeing violence. People beaten to death. A guy stuck in old tires, gasoline poured over him and burnt to death, because he had broken into a basket shop and stolen things or money! People hit by cars and just left on the side of the road. A cow on the side of the highway, every morning on the way to school I was looking forward to seeing how the cow was first blowing up and then decomposing. But I also remember the incredible beauty of Africa, colours in nature I had never seen. A river as clear as crystal, when I was diving to the bottom, it would get very cold and it felt like in a fairy tale. I felt like in an aquarium with thousands of colourful fish around me. I remember the hibiscus and the mango in our garden. I remember catching lizzards that were blue and orange and would drop their tail when caught. And I remember standing in the bush, looking up the hill, and I thought to myself, the children in Germany will never be able to see this, and that helped me getting over the isolation. Being back in Germany was very tough for me. Everybody was making fun of me, telling me to get back to the niggers where I had come from. I was excluded from all the little groups that had formed while I was gone, I wasn’t able to make friends, so I started hanging out with animals again.The weird thing about me is, that wherever I live, as soon as people start to know me in a community, I start to feel uncomfortable and want to move again. As soon as my little circle of friends is re-established locally, I’ve had enough and need to migrate again. I also had a time, when I already lived in Canada, that whenever I would hear tourist talk German in a store, I would almost get a sick feeling to my stomach and had to get out of the store, I could not identify with that mentality at all. And like everybody else here, I don’t really know what to say, when asked where I am from, because there is just no simple answer. I pick whichever suits best, sometimes I say I am Canadian, sometimes I am German, sometimes I say I am from Mars, who cares anyways..? To me, being a TCK feels, like I have this world inside of me, memories of something so beautiful and powerful, but I cannot share it with anybody. It is my secret and whenever I tried sharing it, I feel like nobody could truly understand and I feel like I am betraying myself by exposing it. Wow, this is getting long, I better stop. Everybody have a good day and take care!
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October 7th, 2008 at 5:09 am
Hi Simone!
Welcome to our site!
Thank you so much for sharing a bit of you life with us, your stories about Africa are very amazing.
I know how you feel about not identifying with the people from your “home” country. I also run or pretend I don’t understand anything when I hear Brazilians speaking Portuguese overseas….yuck!!!
And I used to be like you too, I had that same feeling that there is this secret part of my life that I have to hide away from everyone.
Well, I have great news for you: Here is the place where you can talk about it!
We will not laugh or judge you (most of the time we will say “I know how you feel” :D).
People here are actually interested in our stories (that’s why Brice created this site in the first place).
I hope that after you start sharing your stories here, this feeling of “I have to hide it from everyone” will go away.
That’s what happened to me. I have learned that I can tell certain parts of my life to certain people. It all depends on how much open-minded they seem to be. And usually TCKs are the most open-minded ones.
As a curiosity, these lizards that drop their tails exist here in Brazil too. I had almost forgotten about that, but once I read your post I was like “hey…I’ve seen this too”.
And finally, because we have a tradition here…this is your welcome lolcat picture:
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October 9th, 2008 at 6:54 am
Welcome to our forums.
I look forward to hearing more from you.
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October 9th, 2008 at 11:39 am
Thanks for the welcome, mairabay and Ayako,
I just recently started to tap into the world inside of me and am starting to write a story incorporating all of the incredible experiences. I always used to think, there is nothing special about me, I just have a bit more artistic talent and am a fun person to hang out with, but hey, to some people going on a 2 week holiday to Mexiko is a big deal, so my life (and everybody else who is in this forum) really is special.
It totally took me by surprise to realize, that there is common traits amongst TCKs. I guess today’s TCK’s are more connected because of www, but also have to be more mobile, because our world has just become so much faster… I would love to connect with more ATCK’s since I have almost nobody left to contact from back then, because once you left the country, you left for good.
Greetings from the wet West Coast of Canada
Simone
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October 9th, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Hi Simone
Brice lives in Vancouver (although he’s always busy) and I think there are other people here who live in that area too.
I live far far away (in the south of Brazil) but if you want you can add me in MSN or Skype. Just click on my photo and you’ll get my profile with this info.
bye!
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October 21st, 2008 (5 weeks ago) at 12:22 pm
Welcome Simone and thank you for sharing your story! I sent you an email.
“It is my secret and whenever I tried sharing it, I feel like nobody could truly understand and I feel like I am betraying myself by exposing it.”
That’s pretty much how I felt at first, and it was helpful to talk to other TCKs and with people who understand.
Looking forward to see you in the forum!
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November 1st, 2008 (3 weeks ago) at 7:21 pm
Hi Simone, I’m just outside Victoria. Nice to meet you!
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