new as well…
My name’s Sara, I have just discovered that there is a label attached to my experience of growing up and feeling always different from my mono-cultural friends ..Basically, I am now in my 30s but was born in Iran before moving to India when I was 6 years old, with my family for business, shortly before the Islamic revolution. We lived there for 5 years before migrating to Australia which is technically my home. Haven’t been back to either Iran or India since then but never fully felt integrated in Australia (unlike my younger brother who has no recollection of either country and is as Aussie as they come). Went to high school and medical school in Australia before taking myself off to the UK for an elective term in med school.. came back home with SEVERE reverse cultural shock (took me 2 months to get used to being back home) and then travelled as much as I could afford (ie not much!) until I finished my residency. Had a great, well paying job, nice flat … but not happy so worked overseas in Africa with as a volunteer MD with an NGO 3 years ago and haven’t been able to stay in the one place for more than six months since! I went back to the Middle east to work and live, for the first time in 20 years but felt very detached from the place since I didn’t really think like the people there did, though I looked like them (and was judged by them). My family and friends cannot understand why I want to keep travelling and working around the world (my brother hasn’t even bothered to get a passport!) but when I look back, I think that I’ve been meeting other TCKs in my line of work and just feel comfortable being with a bunch of people who are (like me) utterly out of place. I haven’t read the book yet but have ordered it, and have just realised how much the acts of leaving family and friends affected me when this occurred repeatedly. I don’t have any kids yet but when or if ever I do, I want them to have the same TCK experience as I did…I don’t believe in ‘fix-alls’ - but I am relieved to find that my predicament is not out of the ordinary - I am heading back overseas shortly but hope I’ll get sent the book before I leave. Sara
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4 Comments to “new as well…”
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:35 am
Welcome to our forums, Sara.
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September 30th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Hi Sara,
Welcome to our site!
I have a very similar story: I moved back to Brazil when I was 7 and never really fit in here. And when I came back from a 2-month stay in Canada 2 year ago I felt the very severe reverse cultural shock that you talked about…so I know how you feel!
But, because an image is worth a thousand words (that’s how the saying goes, right?) I’m going to give you our welcome LOLCat that says everything about how we feel:
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October 16th, 2008 at 10:16 am
Sara, I think it really brings in a new perspective when you find a language to describe yourself and finally associate with and belong to a social group that is as cultured as you and do not label you into one category. I hope this forum will be great resources for you and for you to find new connections with those who get your feelings and what it was like not feeling “entirely” a citizen of the passport “home.”
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October 21st, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Hi Sara, welcome to tckid.
“My family and friends cannot understand why I want to keep travelling and working around the world (my brother hasn’t even bothered to get a passport!) but when I look back, I think that I’ve been meeting other TCKs in my line of work and just feel comfortable being with a bunch of people who are (like me) utterly out of place. I haven’t read the book yet but have ordered it, and have just realised how much the acts of leaving family and friends affected me when this occurred repeatedly.”
Have you had the chance to read the part in the book about unresolved grief and talked to someone about it?
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