my recent epiphany. | TCKID 2.0

my recent epiphany.

well, it has been a while since my last post, but this seemed to be too important to pass up without y’all(as we say in texas lol. meaning ‘you all’) so here it goes:

For the past few weeks I have been really worried about the close friendship i have developed with a few people. I was constantly thinking about what would happen if i left, what would happen if these people left, how much do they care, etc. I have been living here for 2 years now, and i must say that’s the longest i have lived at for a really, really long time. I was worring so much i felt like i could not say anything for fear of things ending or going backward from where they were. I think this is a result of moving so much, and not being emotionally attached in the way i am for a long period.But then I had a supreme epiphany today, I figured out something about myself. I spent so much time worrying, I had not spent enough time just enjoying what i have. I spent so much time concerned for the future, without bothering to enjoy the present. I also felt really impatient at times for things to happen, instead of just realizing that some things are really out of my control.

I think this is a really valuable lesson, and a feeling which I hope to use as i look foreward. I think it will definately help in my close friendships and relationshps to come. Has anyone else ever felt this way before at some point? How did things work after you figured this out?

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Posted by scott at 11:34 am on November 18th, 2008. Comments
Categories: General Forum.

  • mmmmmm
    I have decided after all these years...there's no need trying to hard to make relationships/friendships work...because if they need u to put too much effort in, they prob just rnt necessary. Me and my best frd were so mean to each otherwhen we were in the SAME country... we were roomates, we fight everyday... sometimes even physically. Then she disappeared to South Africa, by the time I saw her on msn again she was in freaking Paris... and apparently she forgot my email (because she completely forgot tat all she had to do was come on MSN and CHECK) which is why she couldn't contact me. I emailed her but her email was not working anymore lol. but point being...we didnt talk to each other for a year, i have never seen her again since grade 8...but we r still best frds. and no we did not make any effort... we actually made more effort in making each us hate each other.

    point been...dont worry about the future, act natural and if it was meant to be then YAY!!!
  • scott
    Here's an interesting poem i found which sort of relates to this.

    The Ghostly Galley

    When comes the ghostly galley
    Whose rowers dip the oar
    Without a sound to startle us
    Unheeding on the shore

    If they should beckon you abroad
    Before they beckon me
    How could I bear the waiting time
    Till I should put to sea!

    -J.B. Rittenhouse
  • scott
    I have to agree, this has a tendency to show up in relationships(though i have had very few) for me allot. At the beginning I can really be super-anylitical, constantly thinking about if the future will pan out right, if this is the right person, etc. Also similar things happen in close friendships, where i am so afraid of them ending I really don't have time to enjoyment. It's something I am working on, but it's so difficult to put out of your head sometimes . . .
  • I haven´t posted here in mooooonnnnnttthhhsss..i´ve just been silently reading all the entries..hehe..but I guess now I want to make myself seen :)

    and yep..I know how you feel, it tends to happen to me a lot too. Worrying too much about the future and not really enjoying the present. I´m all about planning for the months ahead, and can´t seem to just enjoy the NOW...and when it comes to relationships? I feel totally unable to connect with people or have normal friendships. I´m always told im weird, uncomitted, etc.etc..haha..so yea.
    It´s probably true because I always think about the next mvoe coming up, so I don´t give all of myself to my friends now..



    guess
  • Of course :) I've felt that way a lot, in fact I am feeling this way right now. Worrying about the future is very tiring and yet it's so easy to do it.

    It feels like you've been in this hole the entire time without realizing it and when you did it's like seeing sunshine again.

    Whenever I find myself over-worry I have to tell myself "Screw it, it's not going to last so might as well enjoy it, at least I still have the ability to remember."

    It's not easy because when you are enjoying yourself you just want it to last. But I think I have actually turn that situation around, instead of dreading the end of it I am happy that it ended because I have all the good feelings kept inside me and every time I think about a particular situation I will always smile instead of feeling sad.

    I noticed that a lot of my good memories follows with something sad, like dread. But I am slowly working on keeping the good memories and try not to let the bad feelings happen :)
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