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moving around frequently as a TCK

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Author:
Nicholas

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I’m curious what you guys think about these questions…

so…why is it that TCKs are so unsettled?  What causes the feeling that we want to move around so much and what causes us to want to move around so frequently?

Is it a good thing or is it a bad thing?

Is it a healthy thing not to stay put?

Can a TCK have a healthy long term relationship with a non-TCK, or do we just inevitably move on when we move to the new place? (friendship OR social)

Are we a culture of our own?

If we are a unique culture of individuals…what are the positives and what are the negatives associated? (negatives being difficulties we run into that non-TCKs don’t run into)


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June 28, 2008 | Filed Under General Forum 

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2 Responses to “moving around frequently as a TCK”

  1. 1
    Ayako
    Ayako Says:
    June 29th, 2008 at 2:25 am

    In real life, I like to stay in one place (I call it base camp) even though I’m a TCK because it gives me a chance to get grounded in the structure there. You know…simple things like knowing which plumber to call and where to buy what foods. It’s a hassle getting oriented to a new place every year for me - not to mention making all those calls to redirect mail and settle your utility bills, etc. This is what keeps me from moving often.

    Some people who aren’t TCKs like to move around a lot too and their relatives tell them to ’stop living like a gypsy’. :p

    Maybe some of it comes down to the individual too?

    I have some long term relationships going on with non-TCKs. It’s not like my relationships with TCKs last longer.

    However, I have noticed that when I do say goodbye to a group of people especially in online communities I tend to leave them like a TCK leaves a country :p I pack my bags and leave (which usually means just not going back to a given mirc channel) and never return. I have done this to people who live in the same city too. Once the goodbye is final there is no turning back for me. It is the end.

    I think there are some good points and bad points about being able to do this.

    Good Point: We are unlikely to get trapped in unproductive and damaging relationships just because we can’t ‘leave’ in real life or online.

    Bad Point: We are likely to use this ability to ‘leave’ someone for perhaps small reasons that didn’t warrant that absolute and final departure, in real life and online.

    I sometimes feel the need to step back from things and consider this negative aspect of leaving people - but often when I weigh things - it’s just not worth hanging on to or hanging around people who keep doing things (like every 3 months or so) to upset me so badly I need to take prescription drugs to calm down. It’s the equivalent of when someone says: I need a drink. Since I don’t drink, I take prescription drugs for a similar effect.

    Always nicer to live a drug free life though. Why continue to associate with people who make it necessary to take drugs? ;)

    To answer your question better - I think all those things you mentioned are relative. There is no absolute good or bad in either case and nobody should be allowed to judge you.

    If you find that something works in your life, do it by all means. Something that works for one person may not work for the other.

    Hope this makes sense.

    (Is this spam?)

  2. 2
    mmmmmm
    mmmmmm Says:
    July 1st, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    It’s an awesome thing! I always tell people I am a TCK therefore I know love.
    Ok maybe that sounds smug but let me explain, because we part each other so quickly and all, it just makes it so easy for us to be friends even if we have defects. For non-tcks, they would probably think you would have to know someone for a really long time to have a true relationship/friendship with them, but I still believe the TCK friendship is so much stronger even if a lot of us have met for like a few months and never ever saw each other again. I mean this non-tck frd I know always complain about how it’s so weird that he never sees me. Then I just think…Well what do you mean? DO we need to see each other all the time to be friends? Because if that’s the case then I don’t have friends-_-

    I know TCK relationships are secure. It’s not about tying up the relationship, it’s more about…SO what if you are gone? So what if you have a new life, so what if you have new friends, new country and new school. EVEN, so what if you get a new bf/gf? We would never hate each other because of that and I bet if we meet again we would still be friends, no matter how many years go by.

    I remember going back to China as a crazily excited TCK, all my friends were extremely surprised that I visited them and still wanted to talk to them. I was just like…ergh why wouldn’t I? Then they say, well you were gone for such a long time and you probably have a new life and we are probably unecessary memories and you have your new friends…Then I just think, is this how non-tck mentality work? They would think it makes more sense if I didn’t want to be their friend anymore?? Does distance make that big of a difference to them? Because if it does, I thank the god for making me a TCK. Because nothing can break a TCK friendship.

    (Is this spam?)

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