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Meeting of the minds that proves that family in transition are never alone
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By Bu Jo Parfitt.
The outgoing president of Families in Global Transition, Matt Neigh, opened the eighth FIGT conference in Houston on March 29 with the words: “We are a universe of strangers. You can feel closer to people here than you do your own relatives.”
It was a sentence that summed up both the expat family experience and the work that FIGT does in helping to cope with it. The three objectives of the conference were to “educate, equip and empower” those who came to make “healthy choices”.
Executive Director Joyce Blake predicted that the conference would be “filled with serendipitous meetings”. And by the end the delegates I talked to felt energised by what they had learned from a raft of renowned speakers who simply shared what they knew.
It can be hard keeping things fresh in a conference’s eighth year. Around a third of the attendees were newbies, but the rest were returners. It was vital that new topics were found, which is why it was so refreshing to see Marian Weston, Expat World contributor and author of a new book, Alone At Home, speaking about short-term assignments.
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In addition, the cross-sector dialogue panel saw representatives of the five major expat “groupings” - corporate, military, mission, diplomatic and academic - discuss how their sector handled unexpected repatriation due to evacuation, divorce or death.
And when the “teen panel” were asked what two to three things they wished adults would understand about how it feels to keep moving, a hush descended on the parents in the room.
“I wish that other adults without global experience would understand that the US is not home,” said one. “Home is a concept, not a place.”
“But I want roots, I’m sick of home being just a concept,” interjected another.
“I wish that adults would not ask us which country we liked best.”
“Parents need to realise it is not all about money.”
The conference first began in Indianopolis, home to Ruth van Reken, one of the first writers to explore the phenomenon of the “third culture kid”. She and a group of friends began to dream of creating a conference where people could learn about what it means to live and work abroad.
FIGT has now moved to Texas, with a programme committee made up of experts from all over the world. The conference hosted over 200 delegates during its two and a half days.
The spouses’ panel, moderated by Jane Smith, invited a spouse from each sector to answer a series of questions and to invite further discussion from the floor. Many had taken opportunities they would not have dared accept had they never moved. Apple Gidley, who has moved internationally 28 times, became both editor of a magazine and commercial attaché during her postings.
“You have to go with the flow. You have to be positive about it,” she said.
Indeed, given the right support and information most expatriate postings are happy, and most look back on the experience fondly, choosing to forget about the bad bits. However, it is only by admitting to the difficulties that we can find ways to make the global nomadic life even better. Which is why the Outpost Archive Centre (www.outpostarchive.com), which preserves primary source material of social historical importance from expatriates, launched a project collecting records of negative expatriate experiences at the conference.
But for most the conference was a cause for celebration. Those who have helped to “educate, empower and equip” others have not kept the knowledge to themselves. Many have written about it, too, and the FIGT bookshop did a roaring trade. Marian Weston was not the only one with a new book. US-based Briton Toni Summers Hargis has seen her book, Rules, Britannia: An Insider’s Guide to Life in the United Kingdom, launched in the UK, while Jennifer Patterson launched her book on financial planning for multi-movers, When Families Cross Borders, at the conference. Another Expat world contributor, Robin Pascoe, generously gave a copy of her latest book, Raising Global Nomads, to every delegate.
And me? I launched my two latest publications, Expat Writer - Release the Book Within, and Find Your Passion. I was also the closing keynote speaker, but at FIGT it is all about sharing what you know, not blowing your own trumpet.
The next FIGT conference will take place in Houston from March 6-8, 2008. See www.figt.org for details. Source
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