My name is Maija (Maya). Born in Finland to a Finnish mother and Tanzanian father, but moved to Zambia when two weeks old

Posted by Maija on October 16th, 2008 | Categorized as Introduction | Tagged as Introduction | 183 views and 4 Comments

Hello to all! My name is Maija (Maya). Was born in Finland to a Finnish mother and Tanzanian father, but moved to Zambia when two weeks old. Though I obviously don’t remember this, I lived there for a year or to, then moved back to Finland for a few years. Then it was Tanzania -> Denmark -> Finland -> Ethiopia and now back to Finland. Most places I learned a new language, then lost it when I moved on. If I studied em all I’d speak like 10 languages by now :DOf all the places I was in Ethiopia the longest, 6 yrs. Since it’s the freshest in my memory, it feels like home, but then again I can’t see a future there. Dunno when I’ll go back…. I have this idea that I’ll go back to all the places I’ve lived, just to see if its how I remembered or imagined it.It’s been really interesting reading some of the posts, cos it’s been like reading my own thoughts. My whole life I’ve felt like a stranger - just passing by for a bit, but never belonging. Can’t really relate to my mother’s people, nor my father’s. When people ask me where I’m from, I don’t always know what to say. I can’t really relate to a specific nation or religion, cos over the years I’ve learnt from the people I’ve met that those are superficial boundaries. We’re all the same at heart. But try explaining that to most people… When I first came to this site, I was feeling really down. I recently started university here in Finland, in the smallest town i’ve ever lived in. The subject is interesting, but the environment is so… different from what I’m used to. Before, there would be a new school, where I’d be chucked into this international world where everyone else is from somewhere else too. It’s only now that I’ve begun to see that what’s normal for me is unimaginable for most. My biggest challenge is finding my place here. I’m sure there are likeminded people here. Question is, how do I find them? Another thing is this whole idea of cultural identity, and cultural stereotypes. I mean, out here, black people stand out. And I got a fro that doesnt exactly make me inconspicuous. People wanna touch my hair - they think it’s exotic and fascinating - and they ask me about Africa. But I know that whatever I say, they have their own ideas and it makes little difference what I say. Plus, I’ve found a whole prejudice side of myself I didn’t have as a kid. I assume that because someone has always lived in Europe (or America for that fact) that they don’t know what the real world is about. They’re narrowminded, ignorant, prejudice… some obviously are. But in a way that’s more me than them. (Ironic because I have considered myself open minded and tolerant, and yet, here I am, feeling like I’m surrounded by idiots. I’m intolerant of those that are not tolerant. LOL.)I don’t understand my classmates. I don’t know half the things they talk about. Don’t watch the same shows. It’s sometimes awkward tryinna talk to them, cos I feel fake. I can’t start talking about globalization, politics, or some other deep shit like that cos they don’t say anything. If I do they let me talk, nod maybe, n then move on, but I don’t get a real discussion. But if I was honest, and didn’t bother tryinna communicate with those few people I do know, I’d become completely isolated. Here, multiculturalism is like a catch phrase. It’s what’s new - what’s hip!I hate it. Makes me feel like a gimmick. It’s sad to think that as a kid, I didn’t even think about where people were from. I didn’t see colour. My especially since my return to Finland, I feel much more aware of it. I’m not happy with this current way of thinking I have….. Well that’s basically it. I’m pretty chilled out most of the time. Just having a hard time adjusting. (…and what else is new! lol) but yeah its cool to find ppl who share similar experiences. Nice to know I ain’t the only crazy one xD