Maira’s Blog - Clothes

Posted by mairabay on May 3rd, 2008 | Categorized as Ask Uncle, Blog | 228 views and 5 Comments

OK, since you are TCKs, I don’t need to remind you that people dress differently in different parts of the world. But do you notice that even the small things (like jeans and a t-shirt) are different?
I also don’t need to remind you that clothes are part of the cultural identity of a people. But what happens when you are a TCK? What are your clothes? How to they define you?

I bought this fleece pullover yesterday (I think you people have already “heard” me complain of how Brazilian culture is not prepared for cold weather) because I know it warms me, I know it’s a good way to keep me from the cold. Because that’s who I am. If a culture has found a way to solve a problem, why not take it for yourself and use it too? I thought it was a great idea to buy a fleece pullover (north american culture cloth) and not feel cold in the winter here (in south america).
I had to go to a sports shop and pay a not very cheap price for it (but still cheaper than having it shipped from Land’s End). But I was happy enough that they DO sell it here now.

The wierd feeling came to me, though, when I looked at it laying on my chair, in front of the window, palm trees outside. (before anyone says anything: it does get cold in winter here, like 7C - not counting the wind chill - and very humid)
It seemed it didn’t fit in the picture, you know? What is a pullover from north america doing here? It shouted at me. It didn’t belong in the scene.
But the thing is, I feel cold. And I don’t want to wear 3 Brazilian pseudo-winterish layers of cloth just to feel as warm as I would with a fleece pullover.

I guess what really bugged me is that the fleece is a part of me. A part of me that doesn’t belong here. But it IS here - and I WANT it here.

What I am trying to ask in this post is: why did it bother me so much? Why did it feel so wierd, so painful (like the pain of reverse cultural shock/reentry)? Why is it so painful for me to blend my cultures together in just one person? Why do I still think I that I am a collection of separate lives (each time I lived in a country was a different life)? Why is it so hard for me to accept my own multiculturality?

ok, maybe I went a bit too far. I do accept myself. But I still don’t SEE myself like that sometimes. (this is hard to explain)
do you guys ever feel like you have many personalities (like masks) and each one fits only in one country, and you cannot abosolutely wear mask A in country B? as if you’d be arrested or something? do you ever dream people are chasing you?
(ok, whoever reads this will definately think I have serious psychological problems :S)

I’m just sleepy, tired, just wanted somebody to talk. Somebody that would get all this. That would help me understand why on earth did I feel so much pain looking at that piece of cloth (that peice of me?) that does not belong here.
Maybe it’s only me who has the answers to my own questions. But still, does anyone relate?

Good night!

Maira Bay de Souza

Born in Brazil, then moved to England, then back to Brazil, then to Wales, then Back to Brazil. Now planning on moving to Canada in 2009 (or maybe even 2008!). MSN: mairabay AT hotmail DOT com Skype: mairabay