hi Miyon
I think I talked to you in the chatroom today.

Welcome to tckid!
I haven't done this in a while, but for every intro we give a lolcat, so here's yours:

<img src="http://www.lolcats.com/images/u/07/34/lolcatsdotcomapif8cpspt0k87dj.jpg" border="0" alt="lolcats funny cat pictures"></img>

Another fellow UofI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Welcome to TCKid!! :D

I graduated in 2005 so it wasn't too long ago :D What are you majoring in if you don't mind me asking? :) There is another TCK here who is also currently going to UofI and I think she's a PhD student but I haven't seen her posting here for a while.

Wow small world :D

Aw.. welcome to tckid, Miyon. You're awesome and we're glad to have you here!!!

Kudos to Maira for the lolcat. I love it!!

<3

Let me know if you ever need anything and would like to help other TCKs, you've been contributing a lot and thank you for that video!

Welcome Miyon.

I've enjoyed reading your posts. I personally find you very likable :)

This is so sweet. Thank you mairabay

Hi Miyon!

I was once at U of I campus for a youth convention "back in the day", when I was in high school. :) So I can sorta picture your surroundings.

Glad to have you here! Welcome!

Oh wow...I entered U of I in 2005. That would have been 3 months after your graduation had you left in the spring semester. It's great you know another TCK here. I would love to be connected! That will be great!

Indeed, small world :)

Haha, nice to see an introduction. :) And you're at UofI? I knew some people there... In fact, I know someone who's still over there... Know someone named Varun Vimal?

And if you were within the last year, I know someone who *was* there... :D

Heeey miyon! Been seeing you around the site (in the past 15 minutes that I have been online on tckid.. I have been away for a few days).

Hang on, did you add me on msn? Cause I think you did and saw you online when I was on msn from my phone and I was gonna talk to you, but you went offline like 30 seconds later.. HAHAHA. I was like screaming into my phone "AIIIIEEEE no go online again!!"

Okay, I know I'm ranting. I'm not sure if it's you though. If it IS you, however, hope to talk to you soon, haha. And I would normally say make yourself feel at home and enjoy, but you already seem to be enjoying it haha. Seeeeyaaa!

Thank you, Brice.

I wish I could be helpful...

What are some ways I can help other TCKs? Honestly, I don't think I am mature enough. I think there are things I haven't resolved for myself and that's not a plus. garrr =(

Your posts make me think again about my life and the way I interpret it. I would like to learn from you. Thank you, Ayako.

"Back in the Day" sounded somewhat familiar so I googled my school website. Does any of the photos bring back memory from the youth?

http://www.uni.uiuc.edu/library/gallery/backwhe...

It's a pleasure to meet someone who can picture my campus. =)

Would you say you went to a high school in chicagoland area? I know many schools there =)

It's the coolest thing when I hear someone mentions they know people from my school. I entered U of I in the fall of 2005, so I might have know that someone who was here last year.

I haven't met Varun but I just searched him on the FB and he is actually friends with my friend. Should I ask my friend to introduce him to me?

Kristine,

I am afraid that wasn't me on MSN since I don't have access to your MSN sn. It will be great if we could have a chat with you sometime though :)

Since it's confidential, I prefer not to post my sn here. Maybe you can give yours and I can add it to mine?

HAHAHA yeah i figured out who it was :D
and turns out it wasn't you XD
ahahaha, yeah, i had my doubts. but LOL.
and hrmm, BRICE I NEED PRIVATE MSGING
so i can send miyon my email ad.

Miyon-

I need your help! I am stuck in Indonesia in fact I haven't lived anywhere else. I am 12 years old and i go to an International School and am in 7th grade. I have never lived in Korea, but my parents and the community here expect me to behave as though i know all of the Korean customs. I keep getting myself in trouble and giving my parents stress because I cannot behave as the "perfect" Korean daughter. I ask myself why I have gone to the international school for my whole life if i wasn't supposed to become an international kid. I know I am in "adolescent years" with my parents and we have issues but now I think I am also having tck issues as well. How can I tell my parents that I am not and never will be a perfect Korean daughter?

My parents were comparatively lenient regarding being Asian. They were after all, also "Americans" having immigrated there... They tried for me to be Asian though, and still do, and I'm 10 years older than you, hahaha.

I'm not really an expert on the niceties of Korean traditions and behavior, except that I know they're very, very proud of being Korean and are pretty emphatic about their people keeping it. So walk carefully.

I also know that there's no single, discernible solution. You won't be able to fix it with one good talk. It takes time, and you'll probably be hurt sometimes along the way, because Asian parents can be really stubborn about this.

Just never treat them without some respect. It's difficult when you feel alien to them, but always bear in mind that they love you and want the best for you. They just might have different ideas with you on what it is that's best for you.

Dear Red,

The expectations to be a perfect Korean will always be there when met with Koreans who after becoming adults immigrated to a foreign place and had not quiet kept themselves distant from the Korean ways. Koreans who live in a Korean community, always speaking the language and keeping their tradition, will be especially strong in their belief for other Koreans to behave like Korean, too regardless of their backgrounds.

Please don't be discouraged by the way things seem. Don't beat yourself up when you are troubled. Remember your intentions. Was it intentional that you got into trouble? Did you mean for them to get angry/frustrated? Most likely the answer to these questions is "no" and because of this, I don't want you to feel too horrible about yourself.

Try talking with your parents how you feel about being expected to be very Korean. It takes time so don't expect your parents to get it right away. Trust me, I am still in the process of having my parents understand. Like Dan said, you will have to treat each adult with respect. Frustrations and feeling of misunderstood may be there, so give yourself and your parents some time. When things are too stressful, try writing them down in your journal than confront directly with your parents.

I know this will be the hardest part, but try to keep peace with others even when things seem to be against you. There will be consequences for your choices of actions.

It is my sincere wish that things will go well with you, Red. I am sorry I cannot be there physically for you, but please do know that I am here to listen to you and discuss with you anytime.

You know what?

It's just easier for male TCKs to make adjustments to a more chauvinistic culture than females. There's no need to even explain why this is the case.

I feel for both of you, Miyon & Red. I had many colleagues and childhood playmates who had to go back to their Asian home countries and it was hell for females frankly. The ones who had to go back to India for example bolted for the US the first chance they got. Lucky for most of my Korean female classmates, they all went to the US straight from high school and stayed there. ;)

The things is you can't get rid of your parents so you have to find a way to co-exist with them without going nuts yourself.

The only advice I can give you is to get a job that will put some distance between them and you so you have your own space. While you're dependent on them - well, you'll have to play by some of their rules because there isn't much of a choice not to do so.

On another note, learning traditional Korean culture probably isn't a bad thing. Whether you choose to adhere to these later on in life as an adult is your choice though! But it's always good to know these things because some time in the distant future you might have to do business with a traditional Korean right? Then you'll know how to behave to maximize the business relationship?

I am glad that you have brought up a good point, Ayako. One of the greatest assets of being a TCK is although I may not have a full ownership in any cultures, I have learned from each culture the value systems and the ways to interact with people and be friendly with them. I agree with you that learning traditional Korean culture may not be a bad thing after all, considering future business relationship :) hehe

Haha, if you like. I didn't know him well, but you can say that it's all within the 6 degrees of separation. :)

I've asked my friend and he said he had played basketball with Varun a lot. Unfortunately he doesn't know where Varun is anymore. My friend thinks Varun might have transfered to school in CA.

Ahhh such a shame. Still! Small world! There's a girl at my school here now who used to go to U of I. Sangita Sundar?

Unfortunately, we haven't met but my facebook says she's friend of my other friend. haha small world XD

Dear Red
I know it has been about one month since you posted here. How are things going? I would like to chat with you if that will lighten up your heart. Please feel free to send me an email to mkim58 AT illinois DOT edu