Laura Chan’s Blog: Lonely Globetrekker
So, it’s 11:30pm on the eve of me going to Finland, my second international trip in 2 weeks. You see, I just got back to the US from China, where I spent 5 lovely months. I have been in the US for 2 weeks, during which I met with a Mono friend of mine (my best friend in high school) and realized how broad my horizons have become.
What this post is about is the fact that I feel incredibly lonely, even after such a lovely opportunity to spend my summer travelling. I mean, last year I flew US-Finland-China-back around again (i.e. literally around the world) in 3 weeks. I hated explaining to people here back in the US who knew I just came back from China that I’m leaving again for Finland. They all were joking about how lucky I am, and I could tell that they would LOVE to have the same opportunity. But it would just be nice to have someone *in person* to talk to about it, to travel with. This is why I decided to post this here, because you guys get how it is!
*off post-topic* I’m also thinking of starting a TCK/CCK/MK/Army Brat/Expat student org at my university, but unfortunately I don’t know any yet! ha ha! I’ve been thinking of just putting up flyers (fliers?) and just see who responds..
*back on topic ha ha* So, is this just pre-travel anxiety, that I feel lonely? how do you guys deal with it? And any suggestions about the TCK student org?
Take care, and see you next time!
Laura
Well, I was born in Finland in 1988, lived in Germany for a year (when I was 1 year old, so I don't remember...does that count?) and then when I was 2 I moved to the US. I've lived in Finland for a year for a "foreign exchange" though I lived with my uncle's family, and I've spent a semester in China learning Chinese. (My fourth language, after English-of course, Finnish, German-studied for 6 years) OH! And I'm also a big anime fan, and I love Japanese, Italian, Finnish, and Chinese food. :)Related Posts
6 Comments to “Laura Chan’s Blog: Lonely Globetrekker”
July 24th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Yes putting up flyers will definitely help
Especially with a large campus like you are in I am sure it will get a lot of attention. Do you know of someone who is a TCK already? Maybe you guys can get together and start planning but of course communicate it to the world first.
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July 25th, 2008 at 1:10 am
Isn’t ‘feeling a bit lonely’ part of the spice of traveling?
I know some men are addicted to this feeling and travel to get it so that they can write their ‘hardboiled lonely single male’ memoirs they will never publish. :p
Reference for ‘hardboiled’ : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hardboiled
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July 25th, 2008 at 1:41 am
laura,
i am sorry to hear all this.
you have us to share your feelings and thoughts
it is awesome that you are thinking of starting an organiation on your campus. making connections with tcks on your campus will be a start to founding a new organization, but if you know some but they are not interested in taking the initiative to organize, then a good way to start is by facebook and fliers. you can post things like “do you hate the question where are you from?” that tcks will instantly relate to.
also, posting your facebook status as “i am a tck” might draw attention of other tcks. you never know
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July 25th, 2008 at 7:46 am
Aw Laura, thank you for sharing this. It’s completely normal to feel lonely after you left that international group in China… and now you feel stuck around people who don’t understand! Don’t you miss the familiarity of that group of multicultural friends you made there?
If you’re going to Finland in 2 weeks, is there anything that makes you anxious about going there?
“I’m also thinking of starting a TCK/CCK/MK/Army Brat/Expat student org at my university, but unfortunately I don’t know any yet! ha ha! I’ve been thinking of just putting up flyers (fliers?) and just see who responds..”
I think we should create a forum post “How to create a TCK organization/meetup” and give tips, tools and advice to find local TCKs, organize meetings and activities.
What do you guys think? I think it’s long overdue.
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July 25th, 2008 at 8:37 am
On the topic of loneliness in TCKs:
“Another challenge for the TCK is loneliness. Because of numerous geographical transitions,
children in international communities are prone to feel alone because of changing friendships as
people move in and out of their lives. This transient nature of relationships can lead to the
avoidance of interpersonal problems (Gillies, 1998). Loneliness and fleeting relationships can
also lead to unresolved grief for a “hidden” loss of lifestyle, identity possessions, relationships,
role models and more which can be expressed in denial, anger, depression, withdrawal, rebellion,
vicarious grief, and delayed grief (Pollock & Van Reken, 2001; Barringer, 2000). In contrast,
Secola (1993) concluded that the levels of intimacy measured in best-friend relationships were highest for U.S. students with overseas experience compared to U.S. students without overseas
experience. In studies conducted with adult Third Culture Kids (ATCKs), other challenges they
faced include feelings of rootlessness, restlessness, confused loyalties, alienation, and an
inability to make commitments (Schaetti, n.d.).
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July 27th, 2008 at 7:47 am
I just got back to Canada from Mexico…I think I am going to die from a heartache. LOL and i have no idea how to deal with it to be honest, but i mean…we will survive because We’ve done this so many times already. Everytime you fly, everytime you leave or go to a place, you are ready…to feel your heart shatter. Something that TCKs just kinda have to get used to… sigh…
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