I also relate to Bobbie and Stepa ~ I LOVE going to the airport for ANY reason. In fact, if I could, I'd go hang out just to watch planes take off and land, see people excited to go somewhere, hang out at the arrivals area. I often remark to friends when driving and seeing a plane overhead, "I wonder who's on that plane, where they are going and why." And then, of course, I will wish out loud that I could also go somewhere I've never been.

I'm in my early 40's and like many others, the restlessness lingers long after repatriation (at 14!). I am always happy to hear from other ATCKs ~ that way, when I'm in my 50s and still feeling this way, I won't be shocked!

I'm 55. My family stayed in the same place after I was 5 but when I was 14 I went to Texas to go to high school. So I had a connection to Honduras through my parents. I can see how hard it is for people who had to move every few years. I remember them coming through my school. I do love to travel.

I'm over 50! Is that old enough?! No, the never belonging is always there. I have restlessness - after I live somewhere for 5 years I think that's long enough and want to move. 7 years is the longest I've ever lived in one town. It has it's good and bad points. Our kids are grown and we're now moving overseas soon to a totally new country I've never lived in before. I'm very excited. I want my kids to have the experience of travel and seeing the world through global eyes. That brings such freedom.

I know some ATCK's who like to stay in one place because they're afraid of moving.

I love traveling and we did a lot on ocean liners when I was a kid, so I love to watch large boats and I do the same - wonder who is on board and where they are going and wonder what it would be like to be going along on their journey. I guess I do the same in airports - always wondering where others have been and where they are going.

im 34 going on 35 next month. i relate to the lady that mentioned she looked at planes in the sky and wondered where people were going. i drove 45 min to see a non-tck friend who lived close the airport. then while i was visiting this friend...i begged to go to the airport. we drove there. i jumped out and we ran in the building. i took several deep breaths...all the while the security guard was watching me like a hawk. then we ran out. i said to my friend, wait...i gotta go do it again. then i ran back in while they waited outside for me....took more deep breaths...and ran back out.

the reason was to breathe the airport air. i cant even put it into words...but there is an airport smell... and one that i hadnt experienced in over a year...so i was so desperate to the point that i just needed to go smell the air of an airport. i know...sounds pretty extreme... but i actually wasnt joking...although we laughed the whole time. ;D

Salut,

It's Daniela the Global Community Leadr! :)

I will create this week a page just for Adult TCKs specifically and post the link on here for your convenience.

Any other Q's? Please e-mail me at daniela@tckid.com

Much love,

Daniela

Oops- you can find me at Michael V Pollock...on FB...
Any other Kenya or RVA ATCKs out there??

Hey Heroldo, (Olivier?)

Yes, I am with LDi schools in China...do I know you? Send me a facebook post (and let me know it is from this site) and I will add you...Who do I know in Paris??- I used to know the McAnn family... looking forward to meeting up with you. --So, Brice, will there be a place for ATCKs to chat and throw ideas around?

Anyone else out there raising adopted children in their own culture? I have been having new questions about identity with adopted children growing up in their own country, with a new passport and supposed home...How will identity anchor? (Relationships, of course, but what about nationality and "home"?)...I'm starting to wonder if we need to repatriate for a couple of 'formative' years...

Hi there!
I am 37 and have still not come to grips with what that is that age is supposed to mean...I mean there is this sense from society that one ought to be "settled" at this point in life but I am finding this, particulary in these hard economic times, to be a far-fetched. Not only are finding a decent relationships difficult enough, but finding one as a ATCK is an added challenge and then there is that sense of trying to create a niche and enviornement for yourself. I am restless and yet, I am still looking for a place-enviornmente that I feel like I can relate to. I don't feel settled BUT that doesn't mean that I don't feel adult or mature, on the contrary in terms of a lot of emotional and personal growth experiences, I feel like I have evolved a lot more compared to my Non-(A)TCK friends.
Having said that, it would be great to have a forum that addresses some of the issues that are more in line for the over 30 crowd- there are definitely nuances that separate us from the younger TCK and it would be really nice to have the insight from people who are around the same age and going through similar things!

ps. Brice - can we get some graduation caps please?

Btw, the issue of creating a 'space' for those wanting to connect with 'older' TCKs could perhaps be easily addressed by creating an extra category: 'Older ATCKs' or some other name that sounds better. There is no need to set a minimum age for posting or commenting, but it'll be an easy way for people to know where to go for topics that are of more interest to the older TCKs or those who (old or young) want to talk to other TCKs, but are no longer struggling with identity issues.

Hi Naana,

I'm guessing that most people who commented here were probably talking more along the lines of, Yes, I can relate to all the TCK/ATCK issues, but would be great to meet ppl closer to my age who are interested in other issues too (e.g. marriage, kids, career, etc), or are just at a...errr, are 'calmer' because of age?...I'm not sure how to describe it, it's just that I'm in my early 30s and I spent a few hours with ppl in their very early twenties today. They're fun, but it did feel a slightly different.

So you're welcome to join the group if you want. No need for permission. :)

But I know what you mean by, "they are not so much my issues anymore". When I found tckid about a year ago, I got so immersed in it. And it helped me so much.

But when I visited again just recently (after being 'away' for a few months because I was engrossed with work) I felt, 'How strange. I feel as though I've 'graduated' from tckid.' I'm not saying I'm leaving tckid. Not at all. Just that I feel as though I've 'graduated' from the 'school of dealing with cultural identity issues', because it just doesn't matter to me anymore, which is a good thing. ;)

hi
i have a question , do i qualify or do i have to open a new subdivision?
point is this: i can relate to a lot of the things that have been said by the ATCK s on this site . i too grew up in the situation of letters taken month and no phone connection and seeing my grandma only every three years cause of distance. i joined this site searching for a group of people whom i can relate to in a specific way , and then i noticed that although i recognize lots of the issues that this site seems to have the main focus on , they are not so much my issues anymore ( when i was twenty this site would have been great but now i felt that i was looking a bit for something else ( wrote about that in another post) ) , so i figured i dont fit in once again.. am 'too old' in a certain way .
when i read this postings here i was releaved , seems this is where i could relate more..
but then there is this ; i do have wrinkles around my eyes but not white hair yet , i know how to drive ( didnt quite get why that is important though:) ) but am not finished with my studies yet, i feel grown up and am also perceived that way ( always estimated many years older than i am ) but here comes the clue : i am 25 years and 9 months old .
so by age i am not allowed into here right?. well i am making a petition here . its not by chronological age but by experiences ( as someone allready suggested earlier on this page) that a person should be allowed to be an ATCK ( my idea was that there is a difference between those who are coming here looking for identityissues and those who know who they are but come looking for a social connection to their tck community).
hence i consider myself ATCK , but as belonging to a group needs the groups permition , i would be gratefull for some feed back.
either i am allowed in , or i have to wait some y ears and try again :)

Nice to hear from some adult TCK's. When I was growing up/a young adult there was no recognition or understanding of the TCK phenomenon, let alone a website devoted to it. It's something the world is going to have to take note of as being a TCK becomes increasingly common. Meanwhile, greetings fellow TCK's - nice to be in contact at last.

Hello all....41 year old here. It's late where I am and I'm going to bed soon - too tired to unload right now. I just signed up today and it's a breath of fresh air to have found this site. Anyway, I've got lots I'd like to share so I'll be back soon...just wanted to say hello. Buenas noches.

Hi everyone!
So great to be reading this thread. I've been out of the loop for a while, but am so glad that to "see you all " again. Olivier said: "After having worked in several very "monocultural" environments and a few international (but not TCK) environments, I am trying to look for an environment of like-minded people (ie A-TCKs / Global Nomads / etc.). Although adapting comes easy to TCKs - too much adapting (just to fit in) I find can take its toll. However, once you start looking at companies, it's amazing how some companies really attract and thrive with TCKs in their midst. Let's hope one of them gives me a job in this economic climate..." I can totally relate....I am 36 (that would obviously be the new 26 -let's here it for excellent genes!...ah but seriously) and have been living in Italy for many years and dealuing with much the same issus. This sense of wanderlust and restlessness I think is just part of the package with being a TCK and I am really grateful that I found this website where there are so many like-minded people, who can not only understand but also share common experiences. Before, I found this site I didn't even know that I was a TCK (Global Nomad) and to have a reference point helps out so much in this, at times, epic quest for balance and reciprocity in our lives (work, social, cultural(s) etc.). I think we have to also consider ourselves as people who are and co-exist in multi-lateral communities, as opposed to just being a part of a singular identity or community.
It is at times frustrating but ultimately enriching.

Teri, thank you for your insight about working with like-minded people. You have described in exact words what my ideal work environment is, which I have been fortunate to find only once in my professional life. No wonder those were the best years of my life! These days I am happily creating the career of my choice as a visual artist and writer. Still (and I'm sure I'm not the only one here who has experienced this), I have seen many eyes glaze over when I try to explain what I do...which is as much of a challenge as explaining where I'm from. I've learned to embrace my uniqueness...an upside and a privilege of being in my 40s :)

I'm 55, so that makes me a grandma in this forum. But that is fine; what is new about feeling out of place??
I agree with most of what the older people have had to say. The restlessness does not go away. The sense that you don't "fit in" in your passport culture does not go away. Wierdly, I always feel better the minute I cross the border into Mexico or Canada, even if for a day trip.
Recently, I have realized how incredibly important it is for me to work with like-minded people. Oddly, it does not have to be TCK's (though that would be great), instead it has to be people with an outrageous sense of humour, risk-takers, fun-lovers, open-minded. So I really get what Olivier is talking about when he says: "One of my passions (ie: what gives me a real buzz) is being and working with like-minded people."

I am an Episcopal priest working in a church with a staff of three. The other priest is fun, though not much of a risk-taker. It is very lonely. I did much better back when I was a news photographer and later news researcher. The news environment was full of the kind of people I love working with. I have also done well as a chaplain in a hospital, precisely because of the co-worker mix. I also thrive on the crisis aspect-- suspect that is a TCK leftover. IN any case, I am working on getting back into a chaplaincy position.
All this to say that there are methods to work out some TCK issues in ways that don't mean totally upending one's life every 3 years.

Evidently, there are many of us who are over 35 around here... which is great!

I'm 35 and am more aware than ever, what being an A-TCK means to me! I didn't even know the term or concept while at I was at school or university. I only came across it in the mid/late 1990's. I was reflecting on Larisa's comment, and though: "I am not quite at the stage of 'where and how to contribute'".

Having said that, I am now at a turning point in my career (I'm at the tail end of my MBA), and I am for the first time actively seeking fellow A-TCKs in my working environment. After having worked in several very "monocultural" environments and a few international (but not TCK) environments, I am trying to look for an environment of like-minded people (ie A-TCKs / Global Nomads / etc.). Although adapting comes easy to TCKs - too much adapting (just to fit in) I find can take its toll. However, once you start looking at companies, it's amazing how some companies really attract and thrive with TCKs in their midst. Let's hope one of them gives me a job in this economic climate... ;-)

I guess the extension of that thought, Larisa, is that it's not about one or the other community, but about finding (or creating) your own group, which combines several communities. Isn't that what being a TCK is all about? I love MichaelP's quote on Convergence (where our best skills and strongest passions meet the world's greatest needs).

One of my passions (ie: what gives me a real buzz) is being and working with like-minded people (often other A-TCKs). Rachel puts it very well: "we share a uniqe connection". It's that connection, which forms the foundation of a strong team and mutually infectious enthusiasm.

Anyone here live / work in Paris?

Olivier


PS: MichaelP - do you work at LDI schools in China?

You know, being one of those 20-somethings, I have an interesting story...

I was recently on Goddard Campus which, like this forum, had its fill of 20-something college students drifting about campus.

My roommate was one of the few "older" adult males who happened to also be on campus. He had pretty much had the same gripe. Computers too complicated, hormonal s*x imbalance ridden angst, yadda, yadda, yadda. He also had his own issues and stories to tell. In fact, he was pretty immature for his age, or at least, as I saw it.

Being the TCK that I am, I used my bubble to withdraw from the 20-something age group (not to my advantage), and also found women on campus experiencing the same things. In fact, one woman actually got so frustrated, she went postal right in front of me, and I had no idea as to why, until I looked into it further.

Apparently, ageism isn't just the gap from my generation and younger. No matter what age we are, and you'll see this in work with today's younger men who actually go for cougars (or vice versa), that the internet itself has brought people together in ways humanity never thought possible. But does this actually work when you exclude the internet in today's society?

I could go on here about how being "older" makes you all the wiser, or in need of different socializing/experiences, or the chemicals in your brain. But then, I'd just be lying to you.

In contrast, the boomer generation keeps experiencing this sort of, "never too old to be young" issue. 30 is the new 20, 40 is the new 30, etc.

I guess this would be somewhat intimidating. In fact, now that I'm rounding my 30's, I would say it's not you, dear Seeker, who is at a difference.

I've actually known many ATCKs throughout my lifetime. Some of the most adaptable people I ever will meet. Yet being a TCK, in itself, is a time warp. Makes the young too old, and the old too young.

I'm used to identifying with adults, rather than people my own age, and I'd have to say that, it actually disheartens me to hear that you still feel removed.

My mentor in S.A. was also an ATCK who actually was born in S.A., went to the U.S. and tried to repatriate. It was like having a father I never had (even though I did). He could point out when I began to do some of the things us TCKs do. It was eerie, and sometimes, too mature of a matter for even some of the adults to understand.

You're not wise beyond your years for being "older". Sounds more like a typical ATCK who knows beyond the boundaries of being an adult, period. Alas, this is not typical by any means whatsoever.

Oh, and why she went postal... we were talking, and another woman interrupted. I didn't think anything of this, until I realized, she wasn't chatting with me, she was flirting. I had no idea... and oddly enough, would have never thought anything of it.

I would try to defend myself about forum angst, but truth be told, it has nothing to do with age. Sometimes I'm just another stupid monkey banging away on the keyboard. Don't hate me for it. I try not to. ;)

Larisa,
I liked Erikson pretty well but wonder if we are supposed to be so linear. Can't we go back and plop back into "industry vs. inferiority" if we want to?? That is like me trying to keep up with my children's tech skills... haha.
I appreciate your struggle...
Someone smarter than me put like this: that at our stage of life, I'm 40, we are looking for Convergence, where our best skills and strongest passions meet the world's greatest needs. - I've been in education for a long time, but have felt 'called out' to bring education and a deeper, richer life, together for TCKs.
So I jumped off the deep end, with lots of good help, and have begun an initiative called Odyssey, promoting student development for students in six schools in China.
Some days I feel like a NUT! I have an undergrad in elem education with International studies thrown in, I have a masters in curriculum and instruction...so WHAT am I doing??- I believe I am very blessed to be in this place at this time, able to experiment and bring lots of my life experiences to bear.
So maybe it is an assessment time for you, with all that you have, and the person that you are, to consider what the needs are around you, and how those factors gel. I bet you have a lot to offer. What tugs at your heart?
Sorry if I missed it earlier but what are your degrees and TCK exper.? Just curious...
PS email in China gets weird, and it is hard for me to find these threads again but I am also on Facebook...

Question for Rachel and other "older" ATCKs:

As adults, aside from raising our own children, part of what we are supposed to be doing is taking on the roles of teachers and mentors and contributors to our communities (whereas, when we were kids, we were primarily learners, dependents, and recipients). I am really struggling with this right now, at age 41. I have accumulated four college degrees, and wandered quite successfully through two careers -- neither of which meant anything to me other than a paycheck. I am still at a loss when it comes to deciding what exactly I am supposed to contribute, and which "community" I am supposed to contribute it to.

Has anyone here successfully dealt with this issue (which Ericksson framed as the "generativity vs. stagnation" stage of development)? And if so, would you share your story?

I just turned 39 and I still get carded (live in the US, drinking age is 21). To me chronological age is irrelevant! I'd say the biggest difference is where you are in your life stage. In some ways I relate more to parents, but in others are relate to teens and those in their 20s - since they're not yet in mommy fog, they still have dreams and aspirations!

Catherine et al,
I hit 40 this past May. Yippee! I'm also a Kenya TCK, and now raising 3 TCKs, (the youngest adopted here) in China. I'm still learning lots from my students (I've been an elementary principal here) and my own kids, 17, 15 and 5- and I'm glad this site is mixed age, but also glad to hear from the set with some more experience. (Not 'older' Curtis, right?) And Brice, the weird mix of old/young?? My 17 year old is such a great thinker and so mature in many ways, yet, I can't put her behind the wheel of a car w/out illegally paying off a taxi driver to give her an hour...What can you do? (We do go carts, but it doesn't really count.)
Staying one up on da Bears...

Larisa,
according to your scientific explanation, yes I agree that ATCKs will be smarter than "the average, aging bear" haha.

Rachel, I don't think you are "old Grandma" because to me you seem young at heart. I am so glad you are a part of this community. :)

I am 57 and apparently older than almost anyone on this site! But in case you "youngsters" are wondering:

No, I have never stopped thinking of myself as an MK/TCK. The richness of my childhood is as much a part of who I am as my eye color or my name.

No, I never feel like I totally fit in in my passport country. There is another thread on here about how we feel that those around us are quick to open their whole lives to us, but we ouselves do not find a listening ear, someone who truly understands us. I describe myself as feeling like an Asian in a white body. My attempts at trying to describe my childhood, or my perspective on American culture, politics, etc. to the Americans I work with end up with me feeling like an alien and wondering why I even try to open up my soul to these "monos" (sorry, I kind of like this term)!

Yes, I am always drawn toward people of other colors, cultures, countries. I am always up for a new ethnic food adventure, and jump at any opportunity to travel. Still look up at jet planes streaking high above me and wonder where the people in it are headed, and wish I too, could have continued my nomadic life style.

Yes, I often find my thoughts going back to my experiences in other countries and economies. When people complain about health care in America, I want to give them a little education about what it's like for people who have never seen a real doctor, never had access to antibiotics, who watch their children die of common, potentially treatable diseases, who drink dirty water and are exposed to all kinds of germs and parasites, but still think that sickness and death are caused by evil spirits and black magic. When they whine about our political system here, or their lack of finances, I have such an urge to roll my eyes and sniff, "You just have no IDEA how good you have it here!"

And yes, it is always wonderful to be able to connect with other TCKs, no matter what your age, because we share a uniqe connection which I value very highly. So thanks for letting this old Grandma contribute to this discussion! :)

I signed up some time ago, but thought that everyone here was in their teens and twenties, and felt I (yet again!) couldn't relate.

I'm glad stumbled across this thread - makes me feel quite at home!

About the brain function comments...

Knowing a bit about how the brain learns and rewires itself as we learn new things, I don't think you have to worry about any "damage" happening in the course of our delayed-adolescent-style brain activity. The reason that adolescent brains are so active is that they are in the process of building new neural pathways that embody more abstract, complex concepts and procedures (like solving calculus problems, and exercising judgment). We go through the same thing during repatriation, or any move to a completely new environment or new situation (really anything that causes cognitive dissonance or requires the mastery of new skills). New mothers' brains do this as well, as they learn the complex multi-tasking skills needed to care for an infant.

My guess as to why most adult brains "settle down" in early to mid-adulthood is that most people stop actively learning as early as they can, and start to coast through life with the skills and information they have already acquired. Normal "deterioration" of brain function with age is actually related to lack of use of neural connections, which gradually get overwritten and lost.

So, if logic serves me, doesn't that imply that aging ATCKs will be smarter than the average, aging bear? :-)

Oh, goodness, Brice, I feel you about the driving thing...People think I'm like 5 years older than I actually am, but I'm literally terrified of driving. And I even have a permit :)

It's funny that according to that survey tool to the left, the great majority of people who log on to this website are not "kids". The majority of surfers are in their 20s and 30s---I guess it's the age when reflexiveness is triggered by the fact that we abandon the international setting we grew up in and make the transition from high school into college or from college into the workplace and experience isolation for the first time...

I've just found this site, and YES it would have prevented a LOT of GRIEF if it was available 20 yrs ago.
I don't think age makes that much a difference, but experience does, and having own kids and the choices one makes for them are issues that one needs to have experienced the dilemmas of. I really would like to get to know ATCS that have experience going though adult decisions.
One might have many views, but without the actual experience it's only theory, no offence.

I'm in my very early 30s yay! But being the youngest of 5 kids (all TCKs) I am a mix of young and old. I have kids, I have a good job, I've been living independently for a long while, yet still feel very strongly about being a TCK. I guess it never really leaves you, no matter how old or young you are.

I'm 24 yo and going through delayed adolescence so I'm "officially" an ATCK but I don't feel like one. TCKs have uneven maturity and that's definitely true for me... I know about so many cultures but I can't even drive yet!

@ Paulette

Your link isn't working...

As to when we become ATCKs, I think 18 IS too arbitrary. Perhaps a better measure of adulthood is when we are independent of our parents financial support, done with school and out in the working world, i.e., truly on our own and making our own way in the world.

I have a curious question. I had assumed that an ATCK was someone over the age of 18. But after reading some of the posts, I have an impression that there is a view, by some at least, that you have to be over a certain "other" age to become considered an ATCK?

Also, this discussion also sounds like a great topic to ask questions about/discuss during our next TCK Academy teleconference with Tom Query on 9 August, titled -- Where In The World Is There Comfort For My Losses?

In addition to his areas of expertise around grief and trauma, e also specializes in identity development, individuation and relationships.

And for the person who is not a TCK/ATCK, I have a blog on just this topic - that of being a Third Culture Adult (TCA). My definition of TCA addresses those of us who began our nomadic journey as an adult and feel that our identity, sense of self and place have been changed by these experiences. The blog is located at http://thirdcultureadult.com/3culture.

My hodge-podge discussion for the day :)

Hey all,

I recently turned 36 so I just make it.

Found this site an hour ago and have been devouring the post after post. I'm thrilled to have discovered it but can't help but feel a kind of pensiveness. It'd been been a very useful in my teens. And twenties. Glad it's here the younger ones.

Hi all, I'm 30 and I'm just discovering all this, nice to meet you all.

Hi. I'm and "older" (I hate that word!) ATCK (I will be 34 this year).

I posted an introduction on the intro thread. Grew up in Brasil during my formative teen age years. Left Sao Paulo Brasil and returned to a itty bitty rural FL town. You wanna talk reverse culture shock!? I can do it w/ the best of them! :-)

Glad to find a community of "normal" people! :-)

Peace,
CR

What's so amazing that even with snail mail and infrequent phone calls and long separation from friends, I managed to maintain some continuity. Since joining Facebook, I have reconnected with all of my Kenyan friends from high school. For the most part it has been great, but some 'outsider looking in' feelings have resurfaced - especially since many went to the same country for college.

I have suffered from typical TCK tendency to cut people off without much thought. I now find myself at 42 with no constant friends since repatriating and not minding. Having a place where there are others with similar experiences and having a reason for what I consider a personality flaw, isn't life changing, but helpful.

The thought of being different hasn't bothered me much, but it is comforting to have like minded people to interact with in an environment that fits well into TCK side effects - a peer group that is in constant flux and not close enough to get too attached, but alike enough to feel familiar.

uh oh, I feel a blog monster being created : )

I am glad someone mentioned age..although there are common feelings in all generations! I beat you in age, Catherine, by several years and also would like to find other people over 35 here. I don't mean to be ageist...but it's nice to relate about being older and it's issues. I grew up in the states, but have been overseas for 20 years and relate to many tck topics. One I face given my location, etc.., is finding a partner. I was married to a German based TCK with step sons. I know the hurdles well but I seem to relate more to other tc adults....probably because their brainwaves are younger!
Beautiful day here in Northern Italy after sooo much rain!

Cynthia: Yes, it's the delayed adolescence...lol

I wonder if ATCKs generally do have younger brain wave patterns than non-TCKs?

When I was in my mid-twenties I had an EEG examination to identify why I had these terrible migraines. The psychiatrist told me (and she specialized in brain wave patterns in relation to mental illnesses) that my brain wave patterns were 'normal' for a teenager! :p

Her explanation was as follows:

Your brain reacts very quickly and severely to any outside stimulus. This is normal in teenagers but as human beings grow older, the reaction time and amount of reaction becomes diminished and this is what allows people to cope with the stresses of adult life. Your brain wave patterns look like a teenager's so I am not surprised that the stresses of adult life would give you really bad headaches.

My thoughts:

I had this sneaking suspicion that this had something to do with repatriating at the age of 17/18.

Perhaps, my brain reaction time didn't 'settle down' because I was repatriated when I was precisely supposed to be settling down and calming down, and my brain went into full-gear to learn all the rules of another very different society - not to mention the language?

It was something my brain did to cope with the change in circumstances and to survive. I did survive, but it had its side-effects.

This is still a hypothesis since to prove it a lot of ATCKs in their 20s or older would have to have similar EEG examinations for comparison with non-TCKs in their age group.

The other thought I have which is more disturbing is this:

I wonder if our brain isn't allowed to settle down during this critical phase if it ever does? Do we go into a state of permanent adolescence if we miss the boat in our late twenties?

If this proves to be true, then one would have to recommend earlier repatriation - prior to the onset of adolescence so that the brain can take on a more normal course of development.

Even though earlier repatriation would also interrupt the process of going from a child's mind to an adolescent's mind, I somehow feel that there will just be some delayed progress, but it's better than missing the boat when your brain makes that crucial transition to adulthood where your senses are nicely numbed so you can shrug off the trials and tribulations of the world better.

Perhaps this transition from adolescence to adulthood is a critical stage that needs more study, especially in relation to TCKs and repatriation.

The other question is....once this damage is done, is there anything we can really do to make our brain waves quiet down a bit?

I think most of the tools we have for calming down right now are more like medicine taken to reduce symptoms rather than solving the root of the problem. That said maybe this is the only way to deal with it.

____


This isn't to say we can't function in society because we can. I am thinking that adults with adolescent reaction time in their brains have more adaptability, creativity and learning abilities. It's not all negative :P

But yes it's so hard to have my brain chemicals get excited so easily at my age, so yes it would be easier on us if our brain would settle down a bit instead of lingering in this permanent adolescent phase.

I just turned 58, and I heard a lot of people identify themselves as in their 40's during the teleconference.

I love the speed of communication now! When I was a child, it took 2 weeks to get a letter from our relatives, and we couldn't phone them because most did not have phones. Heck, my great-grandmother's house still had a two seater outhouse and a pump in the kitchen. This in a small town in Denmark - a first world country.

We got my father a computer when he turned 80. Now, at almost 86, he reads Danish newspapers on-line every day, and emails with family.

Telephone is cheap too, and I hang on the phone with my cousin in Norway for hours sometimes! Oh, the luxury.

So hello to the older crowd!

Based on my experience so far I think the average age here is probably in the mid-20s? But I can be wrong. The age range here is so big that it's hard to keep track...and it's hard to tell because we're all experience delayed adolescence right? ;) And besides 42 isn't that much older :D

Nice to meet you Catherine!

i'm 31 and i used to be the oldest person on this site! i think somewhere buried under all the rubble is my post looking for older atcks. a lot of the stuff is generational, i mean we grew up ina time without email, internet, when letters took 6 months to get anywhere and international phone calls cost a liver! being tck in that time, and an atck coming form those times is a whole different experience.

i mean i have friends that i just couldn't keep in touch with. friends i am still looking for. but then, those moments of connection are always so awesome because it feels like you've re-connected against all odds!

so yeah, we're out here. i don't have any kids yet but i am planning to, soon and they will be tck too and i wonder how i am going to handle it all.

anyway, like i said, we're here!

Margo, here's what Ayako was referring to by Kristine's blog:

http://www.tckid.com/group/the-fetal-diaries-27...

She writes a lot of blog posts talking about her daily life, which is kinda like a diary. A lot of ATCKs already do post blog posts, which are pretty interesting to read. :)

You can read most blog posts in the Blog category
http://www.tckid.com/group/category/blog/

If you're looking for a list of TCK/ATCK bloggers from the community, you can find a list
of their blog links here:

http://www.tckid.com/group/third-culture-kids-b...

I might be interested in doing an ATCK blog! This is my area of study right now as I have gone back to college to get my degree in my forties. I will either be majoring in the Ethnology of TCKS or Cross Cultural Communications, depending on which university I transfer to. But isn't TCK.com already an ATCK site?

Bring it on! ;)

I'm feeling better already. Ayuko, about an ATCK blog - be careful what you ask for ;)

Hi!
I am in my forties!

I'm 38 :)

Hi Catherine!
I'll be 37 in less than a week!

Maybe one of you could do an ATCK blog just like Kristine does about teenagers. After all we're also a minority here. ;)

I'm a bit light in qualifications at 34. Does this mean I don't get the senior citizen discount on books and things??? ;-)

I'm 35 next year, if that helps :-)

haha that's right Dan ;)

I'm very pleased to see an ATCK active in these forums too. :)

I even play online games with children...wait. I know at least 5 guys who are my age playing the same game and the oldest guy is 63...lol

Our dear Forum Mod Ayako is 45, I believe. ^^