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Is it time to start a relationship? or should I waste more time sitting around waiting for the perfect girl?

My whole life I’ve been avoiding any close relationships. I just turned 22, 5 days ago, and as of yet, I’ve never had a girlfriend. A lot of it probably has to do with having extremely low self esteem during my teenage years (continuing to now). I was short, fat, and extremely emotionally unbalanced (haha, i probably make myself sound a lot worse then I’m actually am). So low self esteem, plus living as a foreigner in my home country which made finding people similar to me a very hard aspect, and the girls who i liked and had a lot in common with, i avoided getting into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship because our families were all so close, and it would be like dating a close relative or a sibling (problem with being a minority, is everyone knows everyone, and we all grow up together!). There were also many local girls that i was interested in, but we always had too little in common with each other, and being the pastors kid made me feel like everyone’s eyes were always on me, and whatever i did, seemed to be so interesting to everyone. Not wanting to bring any extra attention to myself (more then i already had) i avoided any sort of relationship.

So now I’m an adult (better looking, with a little more self confidence then i had as a teen), and living in my passport country but because I had zero practice in relationships during my youth, I have no clue how to be more then just friends when around girls! which is annoying since I know there are some girls who are actually interested in me and I’m interested in them. But that’s not the only problem, I’m thinking far ahead, i don’t what to wast mine or her time, on a relationship that won’t have the possibility of eventual marriage, which makes me have very high standards in finding someone who would be compatible to my global view of things. And as of yet, I haven’t found a girl who would want to leave Canada eventually, which really sucks since I know i can’t spend much longer in this wonderful yet not-for-me country. and i don’t want to end up like my sisters, who although they married some great husbands, by marrying monos, they’ve pretty much sealed their fate in northamerica, even though my sisters would much rather live elsewhere. Well I guess marriage is about sacrifice, but honestly I know I am not willing to sacrifice my dreams and identity. So this is why I’m still waiting. Waiting for the right girl. Are my expectations to high? Should i wait until I settle down in a country i can live in before starting a relationship?

One reason why I’m thinking about this now, is i have been faced over the last year again and again with the thought of our limited life, and mortality. About a year ago, my dad was diagnosed with cancer, then a few months ago, right after he finished radiation treatment, my mom was diagnosed with a much worse type of cancer! So perhaps that is pushing me to stop wasting time, start a relationship, and make some commitments to someone other then myself.

anyways, I’m not going to rush into anything stupid, Its just got me thinking. I wonder is this inability for relationships common among tcks? from what I’v seen a few of my friends end up getting married much earlier then the mono population, while the majority of my tck friends are very behind monos in having relationships. It’s seems like we grow up fast, but many of us suck at making commitments, and have a late start in the field of dating. another unscientific observation of mine (about my tck friends) is tck females (seems like mono guys find them exotic) seem to do a little better in getting a boyfriends while me and all my male friends seem to have no clue about how to get a girlfriend. Now i now that is one crude observation, which is often not true, but this is just from my own personal observation. I still know many tck girls my age or older who are in the same boat as me (relationshipless).

I haven’t read that tck book yet, but dose it say anything about tcks and their boyfriend/girlfriend relationships?

and does anyone else here suffer from the same problems or similar problems, in the whole field of romance?

anyways i thought this was an intresting topic, although mostlikly it’s been discused on these fourms before.

Popularity: 8% [?]

Posted by Senlando at 10:19 pm on May 10th, 2009. Comments
Categories: Ask Uncle, General Forum, Research.

  • Sameh
    Hello People!
    At 35 i can safely say, that it is harder to find the "perfect" partner being a TCK. particularly when your 2 or more cultures are VERY different (east and west). i also think the older you get the harder it becomes. as we get older we are more set in our ways and less able to compromise.. the longest relationship i've had has been 2 years, and yes, the commitment part freaks me out! plus u rarely find a mono girl who doesn't want to have children..my view on children is because i dont want to inflict what i've been through onto a child...

    i've just had a brilliant idea! TCK online dating! :-)
  • Uncle Dan
    The ironic thing is that they often think that WE are the spoiled ones sometimes. On a surface level it seems like it: house staff, housing complex, security guards, drivers...

    But there are good reasons for why we had them. Economy, safety, all that. Beyond the gated walls of the house or complex is a messy world that serves as the entire purpose of the wall.

    Maybe some of us only learned to wash our clothes when we were 18, but that's a skill picked up fairly quickly and isn't isolated to expat kids (plenty of Americans still just let their mothers do it for them). But we're all too aware of the world outside.
  • I am seeing eye to eye with you on this one Uncle Dan. :)
    I live in a suburb now, and it is so sheltered it's scary. I miss the city and having all the bustle around me.
    My cousins have lived in a suburb next to some wildlife park for all their 17 years and I honestly wonder how they survive, especially since their parents are pretty anti-travelling.

    If I ever get married (and this is based on whether I'll ever find the perfect guy) I'd have to live in a city. The suburb would teach absolutely nothing about life. Aside from the fact that bubbles can exist if you want them to.
  • Uncle Dan
    Suburbs scare the life out of me, I don't mind saying. I revisited my extended family in Houston, and they live out where the grass is green, with tree and kids biking home from school.

    It was sickeningly surreal. About as far removed from the realities of the adulthood that childhood is due to prepare them for as you could reliably get.

    My hypothetical kids, I'm keeping them in a city. I grew up in a massive city and was the better for it, when I compare myself with my cousins. They're very, very sheltered.
  • I actually thought about this for a long time last year. I'm currently in a relationship (almost four years and still going strong), we live together. He sometimes expresses to me about living in the 'burbs and being the family man. I just couldn't see myself doing that. I am a city girl and love the hustle and bustle of a metropolitan city. I'm terrified of pregnancy and childbirth. I have to be near a major airport where I can take off and visit my family and/or go on vacation. (Slowly but surely, I'm converting him to be a open minded to the possibility of having adopted TCK offspring and TCK lifestyle or at least traveling quite a bit).
  • Zoe
    "our differences were sources of both excitement and frustration"

    In my case, frustration is always greater than excitement (I've gotten more than enuf of both in my life!!!)

    And I cannot imagine myself liking a mono again, esp. those from my country...

    This is what I learned from last semester.... jajajaj...... ="=
  • Preston - Here is my story. I had never dated until I met my wife in college. It took me a whole year of indecision before I asked her out...on the very last day before she left campus for the summer!

    I was so hesitant because she is a non-TCK and very different from me in many other ways. At the time, I was pretty sure I wanted to go far, far away, but I had the same dilemma you voiced: if not now, then never? So I talked to her candidly, and we agreed to try dating without too many expectations.

    As expected, our differences were sources of both excitement and frustration, especially the first year. We almost didn't make it past 1 year, but we persevered and grew close through adversity. We both changed tremendously in striving for middle ground, and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

    10 years later, we are happily married, but I sacrificed the nomadic life forever. You see, she likes the traditional ideals of stability, house, 2 cars, kids, etc. There can be no compromise on such polar opposites.

    Talking to her doesn't hurt; maybe she'll still want to try a relationship, who knows? But regardless of what she says, you'll have to choose which is most important to you, either now or later. And if it doesn't work out, no worries. It's a big world, and you've got time. If I learned anything about life it;s that good things happen when you least expect!
  • L
    Hey Preston,

    Can you talk to her about it?

    I can relate to most of what you're saying- I never got into the culture of dating, although I did try it a few times to see what it's like (waste of time really). In year 11 I promised myself not to get into another relationship until it is marriage potential (my longest relationship was 6 weeks... lol...). So now I am interested in someone (much like you) but I am taking it veeery slowly. I want to raise a traveling family and can't think of anything worse than to buy "a house, drive a car and work 9-5 in an air-conditioned office, living 40 years in the same place". NO THANKS!
    I want a husband that will share my mentality- I want someone who can understand that we shouldn't tie ourselves down to material possessions. The value of traveling!! I want my children to experience that!!
    So this guy, we have been extremely good friends for three years (he's not a TCK or anything, but he is Australian, Indian and persian- so multicultural, and he's traveled a bit) and we are talking about potential marriage in two years. Unfortunately, at the moment, he seems to think about career a lot and wants to have the whole "stable, middle class lifestyle- a house, a wife, a job, two kids"- all that jazz. It's fair enough... but just seems so DULL! I don't think I could handle it. So I am secretly hoping that over the next few years we'll grow some more and maybe even go overseas together and then he'll be like "Hey! I want to live somewhere else!" and it will all be good.
    Oh, also, about the "high standards" thing- I agree with you! I don't think our standards are too high at all!

    Basically, what I am saying is, it seems like you are spending a lot of time thinking on your own, about what lifestyle you want, what kind of girl you are looking for etc. But maybe you ARE approaching this too seriously. It doesn't have to happen all at once. Get to know the people around you, the girl you are interested in- even just as a friend. Really put effort into that, and tell her about your concept of marriage and relationship etc.
    The thing is, "Dating" is an unnecessary label that often alters our reality a little bit due to culture etc. (from experience, people change in relationships and you try and show "the best side" to your partner so it loses the unbiased honesty of a friendship- which is important when trying to determine a marriage partner!).

    We influence the people around us- so if you can grow together with her for a while, maybe you'll spark some sort of desire in her to travel the world! Who knows?
    But don't let a connection pass just because it doesn't immediately seem "compatible". Stay friends! All the best with finding "the right girl" and I hope my good friend will change his mind about not-raising-a-traveling family ;)

    Ps: He does look at me weirdly when I tell him I haven't been in a "serious relationship"- for some reason people interpret that as "unable to commit" or smthn. I can do marriage. I can't do trivial, hollywood-style relationship.
  • Manasseh
    Btw, nobody paired me up with anybody.

    THIS, I'm the opposite of you

    The truth is

    My family members all said that I was unworthy and never smiled... and that no guy would ever like me or want me. (We don't care if they were jk or what. They just don't like me. Screw them. They tell lies (brainwash), I learned.)

    (Yes, my family members are all evil)

    I actually believed them and had very low self-esteem

    But then God healed me.

    He is still now..........................

    Uh!

    I really have a super painful experiences with this topic u brought up here.... Even though I was ???? XD LOL of you...

    My story is even sadder

    LOL

    I just believe that God will take care of me....

    Yeah..........

    I seriously have nothing but Faith. (almost. Ha!)

    Again, I am recently screwed (again)

    (Sigh) Having great big fights with my parents

    I really wanna ???? and never see them again.......

    Gave up talking to monos....

    Alrit, forget it.....

    I will get better...

    =)
  • Manasseh
    BEING DIPLOBRAT SUCKS!

    BEING DIPLOBRAT SUCKS!

    BEING DIPLOBRAT SUCKS!

    BEING DIPLOBRAT SUCKS!

    BEING DIPLOBRAT SUCKS!

    (I WOULD PREFERE TO BE ANY OTHER TYPE OF TCK... URG!!!!!!!!)
  • Manasseh
    @ Preston

    I have many names bc ??!!! (hope u know this expression LOL XD!!)

    (Just call me Zoe)

    Hi5 all the way!

    Until I say I disagree with sth (I will say sth when I disagree with u, almost always.)

    So, in other cases... Hi5 all the way!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I don't need to restate things that u already said

    (I'm so tired)

    Hi5 all the way!

    I knew u were coming with the same thing when u told me ur story on facebook. I was just too lazy to tell u then that I have a very similar story!!! LOL!

    About ur sister, I encounter the exact same thing with local Taiwanese guys!

    That's why I am so disappointed after last semester. (Yes, I met/got to know some local guys here.... Uh!... Long story... maybe next time....)
    Bc at the beginning they liked my exoticness, then they become, exactly how ur sis says: intimidated.

    Hi5 All the Way!!!!!!!!!

    (until I disagree)
  • Cati
    "any other tcks decide to not get into a relationship because you couldn't foresee a future with that person due to your tck nomad syndrome?"

    YES!!!

    I think I've been really bad about it this year especially... I'm not necessarily looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with yet, but I still keep stopping relationships before they can even start.

    I'm in my first year of college and I've known since almost as soon as I got here that I will be somewhere else next year, so I categorically decided not to get in a relationship with anyone here. Besides the fact that I really hate the dating/hooking-up culture here, my reasoning is that if it turned into a serious relationship, I would miss them too much after I left, and if it didn't become serious, then I wasn't losing anything important by never getting into it in the first place.

    The unfortunate thing is that I also missed getting to know some people even as friends, because when anyone showed potential romantic interest in me I had to start acting politely non-talkative and distant to them to make sure nothing happened. I can think of two people in particular (at different times of the year) who I had scheduled class/activities with, and so though I never got to know them well I saw them a lot after deciding not to be overly friendly/encouraging and I realised they are people I would have really liked to be friends with. I'm leaving this college next Tuesday (and some people with less finals are leaving already today... I almost don't know how to say good-bye when I'm not the one leaving!) and as a result of being so scared of having a relationship that I would have to leave behind, now I'm sad and regret not getting to know people I would have liked just as friends.

    I just hope I haven't given myself permanent attachment issues, because I think I'm spending 3 or 4 years the next place I go and I really hope I can let myself find some kind of relationship there...
  • Senlando
    Akli,

    yah the differances of cultures between Asia, and the missionary conservitive subculture me and my friends lived in, with northamerica are quite huge. I never went to the international school, but even they had a lot less dating then in a typical northamerican school. Its funny the cultural differences we come form, but it can be really hard for us to adapt, especially when people think we'r so strange not be in any sort of relationships. And then they ask me if i had a girlfriend back home, my answer being no. they probably think i'm gay (one girl even asked me that). haha. oh well, the good thing about being picked on and bullied a lot throughout childhood, is if you make it out alright, not much really bothers you anymore. A sense of humor helps a little, especially when trying to get out of having low self-esteem.

    Manasseh, (or Zoe?, why did you change your name?)
    another HI5!
    its funny our avoiding western guys and then finding out that you don't like Taiwanese guys any better.
    I felt the same way when in Taiwan, people where always asking me stupid very personal questions like, "do you like white girls or Taiwanese girls better?" i also had many mothers when i was really young telling me that when i grew up they wanted me to marry their daughter. So you can see one reason why i avoided relationships all together, it seems like people where always trying to match me up with someone, or get their nose in my busness. It's like being from a the British royal family or something.

    So anyways thats a lot of pressure to put on a kid or a teen. oh ya what i was saying before, I used to think that i had to little in common with Taiwanese girls, and I thought that i would end up marrying a northamerican, cause i believed i could relate to them more. I WAS WRONG! In Canada, I discovered an alien race of women, who couldn't fathom that outside of their little planet existed a whole universe! I'm now believing I have much more in common with Taiwanese girls, but in truth I am so different (like all tcks), finding someone i can relate to would be a near-impossibility.

    I can see how being the daughter of a diplomat could be pretty much the same as a pastors kid. Perhaps even worse, cause your representing a country. Well i guess technically my family was supposed to be representing the kingdom of God but you get the point. we both had "the eyes" on us, and what "the eyes" saw, "the mouths" gossiped! In many ways i feel like we know to a lesser extent what it must be like to be in the british royal family.

    btw I asked my sister why she never dated a Taiwanese guy, and she told me it was because they where easily interested in her, but as soon as they got to know her, they quickly became very intimidated (she's very talkative and extroverted). She also had many guys who would try to get friendly with her but she would have to tell them she wasn't interested. It seems like whenever your a minority in a country, people see you as an exotic plant, that they have to have for their collection. Most of the times they're not interested in ones character, but in the "wow factor", that they where able to date such a rarity. But this is probably a lot harder for girls as guys usually don't mind a bunch of girls falling for them. :-)
  • Senlando
    So there's a girl i like at my church. She's not a tck, but grew up as an minority (she told me she used to be the only black girl in school). So at least she can relate to being different then the majority. I've been friends with her for a few years, were in the same bible study and I've always enjoyed her company, we also share many of the same beliefs, and enjoy much of the same things, truthfully she's "perfect" except for one fact, as far as i know she's happy living in Canada. My problem is that ever since i've moved to Canada, my goal was to leave when i completed college. Don't get me wrong, Canada is a good country, and I'm intelligent enough to recognize that fact, but it's just not the country for me! I don't want my life's goals to be the family man who owns 2 cars, a house, and a dog in the suburbs who drives an hour a meaningless job every day! Also the winters here are horribly depressing (i can't help but think of suicide a few times throughout the winter. haha). So here's the problem, I like the girl, I don't like the country. And I don't think I can sacrifice my dreams and ambitions for someone else. And I know I probably shouldn't take everything so seriously, but i really don't think i can date a girl, unless i believe we can make it work, it would be unfair to her, and to me. So this of course is my dilemma, and it seems until I can find the place where I'd be happy to live in, or find the right woman who as the same dreams of traveling, I'm going to have to remain, hopelessly single and lonely! Sheesh i never know what to do, I'm hopeless it seams. lol.

    any other tcks decide to not get into a relationship because you couldn't foresee a future with that person due to your tck nomad syndrome?

    it sucks doesn't it?

    btw both of my sisters married non-tcks, and although their both happily married, they tell me the sacrifice of remaining in northamerica was very hard to make.
  • Manasseh
    "arg, you see, people are hard to deal with!!!!!"

    LMAO

    True

    And ur so genuine! Same as me XD!!~

    I like ur postings as well!!!!~~~


    Jajajajajjajaja!!!!!~~~
  • Manasseh
    Mairabay:

    GIVE ME FIVE!

    "(and I tell you, it's much harder when you're small cause you don't have the words for it). Well, maybe it's hard when you're a teen too. Arg, sometimes being a TCK s#cks."

    "You don't have the words for it!"

    It is SOOOO~~~~ true..........

    I find this SOOOO accurate!

    I realized that what had hurt me most in my life were those things that I couldn't express while I've been hurt!

    Now I learned the lesson!

    This is exactly why now, I never hesitate to "complain" bc for me, I get healed BY the complaining process!

    So I actually (secretly? Uh... not anymore I suppose, since I'm right now speaking out loud....) hate those ppl who "think" (they don't necessary have to "say" it, cauze it "shows") I complain too much.

    I don't believe in complain "too much" but only complain "wrongly", for instance, saying that sth would be better if.... XXXXXX.... while the statement isn't true.

    However, when sth ur complaining is really sth... give harm "for real"... is a complete different story.

    Anyways.........

    I had (and still, but much improoved) low self esteem for two reasons:

    One: being different (has to do with TCKness)

    Two: my abusive and disfunctional family (I get no respect whatsoever from none of my parents nor my older brother, which isn't TCKness)
  • mairabay
    hey there

    I relate to a lot of the things you said.

    I think it has more to do with self-esteem and other (at least in my case) reverse culture-shock feelings.
    I repatriated when I was 7 and suffered a lot of reverse culture-shock (and I tell you, it's much harder when you're small cause you don't have the words for it). Well, maybe it's hard when you're a teen too. Arg, sometimes being a TCK s#cks.
    But anwyay, I grew up with low self-esteem because I was bullied in school due to being different. I never got their jokes and was always the reason for their jokes =( (I still don't get most of the jokes here)
    So I became a shy and closed kid. Books were always so much easier to understand than people.

    And that's why I'm bad with relationships.

    ---------------

    Yes, the TCK book talks about it. In several parts it talks about TCKs and the way they relate to other people.
    ----------------

    I've never had a serious relationship for a long period of time. The longest time I've dated seriously was 2 months.

    But I find I'm the opposite of most TCKs I've seen here. My reason was that **I** always wanted to be taken seriously and to have serious relationships and **they** never did. Relationships here are strange, people get really close to you (like calling you nicknames, being super affectionate, etc. - which in my point of view it means they want something serious) but they actually don't want anything serious. I've always felt like they were just using me. They change girlfriends/dates like they change clothes. Really, it's so hard to understand and to have a realtionship when guys are like that!

    And it's even harder because Brasil is very relationships-oriented. I've always felt the peer pressure of "everbody has had a certain experience (first kiss, etc) and I haven't". Not to mention that people here are nosy and keep asking about these things (especially when I was a teen) - I'm sure you can picture the embarassment.

    With the exception of my 2 last boyfriends (one was a TCK and the other one a CCA), most of my relationships ended before I even thought of being scared of commitment.

    People here are so wierd!
    ------------

    Because I always felt like they used me, I did stay away from relationships in my early teen. And yet people would tell me the same thing you said "you expect too much, lower your expectations". So after some time I gave into peer pressure and lowered my expectations. So low that I almost became one of them (don't go there, it's not worth it).

    Now (I'm 27) I'm trying to be more open, but at the same time, I still need to be with someone that is as open-minded as I am. I can't see how I would handle the frustration of trying to explain things to someone and they wouldn't get it (it's one of the reasonss why my last relationship ended - I just can't share my life with someone that does not accept that there's more than one solution to a problem!).

    But you know, lately I've been thinking: I'm not perfect either. And before I knew about TCK, I wanted all the monos around me to behave like me, and felt frustrated when they didn't. Now that I know about TCK, I'm "ok" with monos acting like monos. I know that each person sees the world according to his/her experiences, and mine are utterly different from theirs.
    Maybe if I date a monocultural guy, but I can open his eyes (like learning about TCK opened mine), then maybe it can work. Just an idea for you.
    But of course dating a TCK would be soooo much easier. Or not, my ex that was a TCK was a very confused person... arg, you see, people are hard to deal with!!!!!

    ok, this has become a long comment (as usual, I like to write a lot), I hope it helps!
  • Uncle Dan
    I won't say it's a common TCK trait, because there's endless variety in the experiences of TCKs. I personally know a lot of TCKs who have active romantic lives. It really depends on where you grew up, how you did, and what cultures were a big part of your life.

    It's true that there can be a drastic difference once you repatriate, and the cultural differences can make a big difference in your approach and comfort level.

    I've known some TCKs who managed to start relationships with non-TCKs without too much trouble. Some last, some are just fun for a while, but it depends on the culture too. Some would be like yourself, and just not relate to anyone. Some are used to trying different relationships, and enjoying themselves in general.

    I find it's best not to work oneself up too much about it. Relationships are part of human nature, so it pays to remember that we're all animals, and it's not as big a challenge as media and pop culture would make it out to be.

    Culturally of course, it varies in its nature. As Akli says, in Asia it's different. Relationships are less for fun, and more for serious long-term plans, but it's not black and white there either, and varies from country to country.

    The truth? Anytime is a good time to start a relationship. I find it's best to just go for it and wonder if it was worth it later. It's better than missing opportunities entirely, and even if it doesn't work out you had a learning experience and some fun for a while.
  • Manasseh
    Wow. Didn't know it was u who posts this.
    Jajajaja

    Anyways....

    Another GIVE ME FIVE

    Pastor kid?

    SIGH.

    Diplobrat isn't anything better bc I always felt and still now that everyone's eyes are on me. (And it is true? Not just my consciousness, rit?)

    I avoided western guys bc I just didn't really think I'd ever be with one. Bc... they're "foreigners"

    Or.... sth really nasty called "yellow fevor"
    (Yes, I'm an Asian girl)

    So, it really bothered me when westerners/westernized (Latinos or whites or even Koreans) acted very friendly with me. I ignored all of them completely.

    And I think I've hurt ppl too (Hurt ppl hurt ppl)

    However, western or westernized guys usually aren't very vulnerable when I ignored them or acted cold. They were fine.

    B4 coming to Tw last yr, I still thought I would be more compatible with Taiwanese guys (either TCKs or monos).

    Despite cultural difference (which I found months ago, and it's all unbearable)

    I found another very different thing between mono Taiwanese boys and westernized ppl. I never knew they were THAT different, so I treated mono Tw boys very similarly as how I had treated the others. The outcome is, what I say and do hurt them a lot more easily. They, I think, are more "sensitive", which I can't bear, bc I'd end up always *feeling guilty*. (I don't think I'm wrong, it's not my fault, I didn't know it better. But they hurt u back, kind of like reflex or revenge, I don't know....= = Anyways... I find them harder to deal with even than westerners. When I was in the west, I thought the other way around. I was wrong, obviously. I didn't know/notice how much I've changed and been assimilated by LA...)

    I suppose they have lower-self-esteem in general. Or also bc they are more "ying"(?)

    I remember once that I said to a man (8 yrs older than me) that "you didn't help me. I feel as bad now as b4 u came." And he was like... really mad and really hurt and I was like.... just surprised. (He REALLY Overreact!!!!) Bc anyone I've met in LA wouldn't mind at all 'bout what I've said.

    They are too "evasive" for me. Maybe not if I haven't been to LA for 12 yrs. But the fact is, I have. So, (sigh)............

    Even though I never felt 100% compatible with westernized ones, after one semester getting to know many local boyz.... I learned the fact: (And I was surprised by this fact) that I'm actually less compatible with localmonos....

    Lucky you, at least u can be friends with them.
    I don't be friends with any.

    ??? ????"??"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    (world-weary)
  • Akli
    I understand your point. It makes me realize international schools often have nothing in common with schools back in Canada or the US. No hockey or football teams, no cheerleaders, and we sometimes live in cultures where unlike in the US it is taboo to date or to hold hands with girls and in some cases there is nowhere to go when dating.
    This means that most of the international school couples I knew were in platonic relationships, and few people bothered dating at all.
    I did experience culture shock when all my college classmates ever talked about was dating and strip clubs/other lewd activities relating to women. Relationships in Canada and the US are so much more complicated than in Asia (things are starting to change in Asia though...). Dating is part of the reverse culture shock I guess. The Canadian/American young girls I met were often scary, calling me a geek for not knowing what the word "booty" meant and stuff like that. But I guess the magical thing about love is that it often happens when we expect it to happen the least.
    As far as the tck book is concerned, tcks tend to get married later, marry women older than them and the divorce rate is lower than average.
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