Is being alone such a bad thing?
As I have recently discovered that I am a TCK, the research has shown that TCK’s are very independent, and at times, I can be a sort of extreme of that.
I was an only child, and did not have many friends. So I often made up things for me to do by myself. I’d make up storylines that my Barbies would act out, I would pretend I was Sailor Moon and defeat the forces of evil, etc. I guess that’s why I’m so creative. *shrug*
But my point is, at times I just can’t STAND people. They drive me crazy! Sometimes, it’s the ridiculous coasties (those from the east or west coast of the US, that attend my school in leggings, ugg boots and ridiculously large hand bags) that float around my campus, or really cute guys that would never give me the time of day, or even just the sheer presence of others just makes me feel claustrophobic. So at least once a day (often times more), I just need some time to be alone to just read, or watch a movie/tv, etc. or else I will lose my mind. This became VERY evident when I worked at a summer camp this summer. We were just going non-stop and I literally HAD to use my time off every day to be by myself, or else I would explode on the wee ickle kids.
Is this so strange? That I just can’t deal with being around people so much? But yet, at times I get extremely lonely, especially late at night. Is this the curse of being a Third Culture Kid? Is this what I get for not belonging in neither my adopted country nor my home country? That since I don’t belong in either of the two, I’ll just be by myself, where no one can bother me…
So if you see me in the cafeteria with a book under my arm, sorry. That means that I don’t want to eat with you.
May 29th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
Kirk: If you feel OK yourself then don’t let other people make this into an issue.
Especially if you can interact with people without beating them senseless or showing anti-social behavior. What’s wrong with getting away from it all for periods when you need to chill?
People/society want to make everything into an issue. If they sniff out anything different they will try to convince you there is ’something wrong with you’, i.e. you read too much and why aren’t you a football player or cheerleader and why aren’t you the most popular guy/girl in school?
But as far as I’m concerned:
Something wrong is when you are hooked on drugs so much you fail to go into work and start stealing to pay for your habit. Something wrong is when you are so anti-social you go LOOKING for people to beat them up. Something wrong is when you are reduced to a nervous wreck because you had to spend one night in your apartment alone and go to night clubs just so you can pick up any stranger to sleep with you. Something wrong is when you can’t balance your checkbook at all and run into the nearest shopping mall and spend all your money there so that you can’t buy food…every month.
Let’s learn to separate ‘problems’ that threaten to ruin your life and the ‘differences’ we have from other people.
What are we supposed to be? Gingerbread men cut out of identical cookie cutters?
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May 31st, 2008 at 9:00 am
Very very true, and thank you for the support :). And I can interact well with people and be kind to them, even though in my head I might be telling them off or yelling at them to control their kids, etc…
And no, I don’t think I’d like being a gingerbread man :P.
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