I want a boyfriend!!!
Ok…so I know my “title” sounds absolutely RETARDED and desperate…but it’s true. lol
I’m 19 and I’ve never had a boyfriend ’cause my family has moved so much…and I guess I’ve never really gotten to know anyone “well enough” to think about starting a relationship. But now I’m in college, and I’m the only single girl in my close group of friends…and I always see my friends doing cute little things withe their boyfriends. They seem to know each other so well, they’re so close, and they care for each other so much….
I guess I just want to have that experience and I really want to get close with someone. It scares the heck out of me, but I want that kind of relationship.
Anyways…that was juts a very random “feeling-sharing” moment.
haha
April 9th, 2008 at 5:43 am
My problem isn’t alway finding one…it’s not running away from him
. Really though, I don’t know how some of my boyfriends have managed to keep up with my attempts to run away from any kind of relationship.
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April 9th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
I dated a guy who grew up in two countries and was friends with TCKs in high school for a while.
My current boyfriend is a ethnically mixed (I guess you can say that he’s a CCK) and we could relate to not completely fitting in. He did however grow up in the suburbs of Philly but his family situation caused him to move quite a bit within a 50-100 mile radius.
As a TCK, I am constantly fitting in w/ many different types of people but also not really fitting in. Its a bit frustrating at times. When I was single and dating, I found it difficult to relate to someone who was set in finding “the one” and settling down to a house in suburbia and tend to the kids until they moved out of college. Sometimes when my boyfriend and I talk about such matters, I am almost avoiding the subject or think that its not so bad to find a nice home and settle for a while but I think I get bored easily with a place so that idea is a bit daunting for me.
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June 3rd, 2008 at 3:42 am
17, and had one boyfriend so far. Personally I’ve been told that when you don’t look for a partner, they’ll come to you. And I used to look for a partner, it was crazy! But now I’m just sick and tired of looking, and besides which I’ve got final year exams to focus on, so I guess it’ll come when the time is right. =)
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June 3rd, 2008 at 11:07 am
i had tonnes of boyfriends growing up, it was silly, i was just fascinated with boys (still am, tough, just the one now) but i will tel you this, i had a lot of boyfriends because i did not take relationships seriously at all. even the guys i dated for more than a year, even the guy i moved in with. i knew, at al times that this relationship was not going to last forever. but i liked him, we had fun toegher, lots of laughing, and doing fun stuff, so why not?
i know it was my cavaleer (sp?) attitude to dating that had me dating so many guys. so many tcks i know say “why start a relationship if i know its probably going to end soon when i leave” even if they don’t know when they are leaving. i was the opposite, i’d say “i’ll start this relationship now because i know i am leaving in 6 months so it will end naturally and i won’t have to break up with anyone.”
i was 24 before i ever had to deal with breaking up with a guy and remaining in the same country as him, it was so weird bumping into him in town and stuff, i was so sued to breaking up with guys and kipping the country. oops!
anyway, my point is not that you should do what i do (that takes special fucked up skills) but maybe relax a little, you know? dating is just that, dating, not marriage so its ok if you start seeing someone you like and you may leave soon. i mean when i started seeing my fiance he left 10 months alter an here we are 3 years alter and getting married.
as for the not connecting with folks who are not tck, this is a topic that has been touched on in a lot of posts. its more about finding someone who gels with you, being tck, yes we gravitate to those who are more open minded because you really have to be t even start to get the whole tck phenomenon, but he doesn’t HAVe to be tck.
i don’t kow if i have helped or just confused you more. if you were a little older and in south africa, virginia, sudan or england i would recommend some of my exes, they were really good guys. sucks for them they dated te chick with the itchiest feet!
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June 28th, 2008 at 11:49 am
oh my god honestly, TCK finding bfs/gfs just…i dunno. but um I’ve come to this stage tat I refuse to date at all because i cant stand monocultural boys who try to date u, they make me literally want to choke them at moments because they dunt understand at all and they think i am just another girl and i dunno i just feel like non tck-boys patronize us WAY too much. Ok maybe they dunt do tat specifically to TCKs but it’s TCKs who notice these little problems.
TCK boys r like…ok wtever we r gonna leave this place soon anyways so like let’s jus tbe frds keep it nice and simple and happy u noe? so in the end i just dunt even want bfs at all! in fact I never got into anything serious either and i am 17, and i guess it’s sort of out of choice.i mean honestly at the international school i went to the ppl who date just end up hating each other because they all have commitment issues from being TCK. And the only thing tat actually did work out was hook ups…SO i decided…ok there’s no point in doing this. cuz u look at others and think they noe each other so well and all tat…except the truth is IT”S HARDER for TCK to find a bf tat actually makes u happy! in fact it’s hard for any1. but we tcks r less likely to find a happy relationship because it’s just harder to understand us.
i say, we have each other and tat’s all the love we need.
i mean, i guess tat wasnt reli a supportive comment. but yah, u can try date sum1, doesnt have to be serious. see if u can stand it… I cant…
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July 5th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
Look, nothing in life is guaranteed no matter how dettached you act or how nice you think you are.
What I figured out from life is you look after your goals and if you meet someone who does NOT go below your bottom bar who you connect/share chemistry with just sit back and enjoy it. But if you DO remain single, does that mean you do not continue living happily?
Call me brash, but it’s self-fun until you meet someone who may be “the one”. Good luck!
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July 6th, 2008 at 7:59 am
I want to have a boy friend too but it is VERY HARD To find one here. Most Taiwanese guys are so scared of me because I am more confident than them. Well, I respect them and try to honor them. But i heard from my male friends told me my good English scares all of the guys away. They can tell my English is good because I have English accent even when I only speak Chinese. I think it’s because most of the Taiwanese guys have low self-asteem when they don’t speak good English.
I really want to tell them. The confidence of a person should not just from the language skills. But I guess I don’t need to be their moms to tell all of the guys about it.
Dating a foreign guy here is even more impossible.A lot of Taiwanese girls are “forienger chasers”. Because they adore them and want to learn English from them. Since all of these foreig guys here are so welcome and popular here so I don’t think I really need to spend that time with them. Some of these guys abuse these passions that Taiwanese girls have for them. Plus I really don’t want to associate with that kind of “foreinger chaser” image.
It’s really to find someone to date as a third culture person.
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July 6th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
@ CHI
It is hard to date when you are not homogenous. You know the issues I have dealt with dating inter-racially?
When I was growing up I knew I was attractive however I felt undesirable because the “white” guys admired qualities I didn’t have (meek, blonde, bitchy, girly etc). I was fierce, bold, strong. That is why people fall for me OVER time because my immediate personal also makes people uncomfortable.
However, here in America it is the “brothas” that chase me like crazy. Than when they get a shot they tell me I am “too much like a sista” and that I should “act more like a white girl”. I tell, honey, I am not “Anglo” - I am ETHNIC AND a CCK!? If you don’t think Caucasian folks are fiesty why the hell do you love all of those Italian mobster flicks? Why the hell are you jocking Italian & Euro designers if you do not think we have any flavor??
I know the real problem plaguing relationships worldwide!!
1). Cultural illiteracy of others.
2). The inability to see someone as a unique human being with there own history & evolution instead of a caricture of “comforting cultural myths”.
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July 6th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Oh, and low self-esteem. I have noticed every guy I date comes across as confident but has a real mediocrity complex. However, everytime I try to love someone out of it they just end up despising me. My self-love has risen where I know what my boundaries are with certain men - who I can just be friends with and who I can cross over the line to being physically & emotionally intimate with.
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