I did the same--I think between "Gilmore Girls" and VH1's "I Love the __'s" I learnt everything necessary.

But then something random with come up, like a movie everyone just HAD to have seen or something random like Pogs, and I just get lost all over again.

Which culture? :P

Interesting topic. Personally, I would say that I have intentionally educated myself on American culture so that I can fit in if I feel like it. But the problem is that I can't very well go back and find out 20 years of missed culture, just what is current. So, yeah, I still miss things.
Alternately I'll be in a situation where I could fit in if only I didn't have the wrong opinion and express it (ie "You all should consider how ...[the rest of the world/that other country] might see this). And so even though I have the knowledge to fit in, my opinions (and desire to express them) keep me from fitting some settings well. :) Ah well...

I was never supposed to have one culture to begin with. My parents aren't from the same country. I don't worry about that, though - I agree with Sky in that no one ever fully knows a culture in the first place. Anyone claiming to is a liar. Monocultural people don't automatically understand everyone from their culture, far from it. Why should we, when "they" don't know everything about their own cultures?

Well I do understand most of Canadian culture I really don't fit in Canadian culture nor do I want to exactly. My biggest frustration is that I look like I should fit into theis culture so people expect me to. Being a hidden immagrant has many disadvantages. Im many ways my culture has been shaped by the culture in Jordan and although I know people expect me to act Canadian while in Canada and although I do know what it is they expect, it is not what I am comfortable with and not what I want to do. Outwardly this is most reflected in how I dress I grew up in a very conservative area of Amman and walked through downtown everyday thus i dress very modestly not to attract attention I don't even own a pair of shorts or a shorter skirt, and only wear long shirts with sleeves at least to the elbow. In the summer this makes for lots of questioning looks esspecially on really hot days, but that is what I am comfortable in and I really don't care what other people think most of the time.

Well I don't know my own national anthem and I know almost nothing about my country's history. I have almost mastered the culture in Indonesia and Australia and am working on England's subtle differences when compared with Australian culture.

I think the skill that TCKs pick up is the ability to not stand out while still not fitting in. Its almost cultural minimalism! I know enough about certain cultures as to not seem rude or offensive, but not enough to fully appreciate the subtleties.

But I agree that although we come off as very mature to some, others see us as being naive in certain areas. This is where the cultural minimalism comes in. Realizing you may never fully understand a culture but doing enough to disguise your naivety so that you don't seem as naive.

oh, funny culture story. in southern africa (and i don't know where else) when you shake a person's hand and they scratch your palm, it basically means "i want to f@#k you". it is that crude.


i did not know this until i was in my 20's, and my palm got scratched a lot. by al sorts, strangers, relatives, young and old! i would just smile politely and move on. imagine my horror when i found out!

ew. i still feel kinda dirty...

i am african. and i am and african tck, in all respects; that is my passport country is african, and i grew up mostly in african countries. in most of africa, pop culture is unimportant, it is the deep rooted culture, the old customs and traditions that are important. what with colonialism and the introduction of western religion, most african countries are desperate to hold on to what seems like dying cultures, even when the customs may not be so wonderful. anyway, the point is that culture is VERY important in most african countries, if not all, and knowing the culture of a certain place is a sign of respect to that place and its people.

this does not bode well for the tck who is, as brice put it "jack of all cultures, master of none"

there are a lot of similarities in the cultures i lived in, simple things like; never do anything with your left hand (eat, shake hands etc) try to use both hands when greeting, always greet elders first, always greet in general (something that always weirds me out about north america, people can walk into the room and not say hello! or kids can walk in and not greet the guests! this is so weird and VERY rude to me, although i understand it is not their culture).

when my sister got married 12 years ago, my mom just started pulling all these customs out her ass and got so pissed when we were slow to catch on, it was crazy (my mom was mother-of-the-bridzilla).

after university i went back to botswana to live for the first time in 12 years and the first time as an adult. i learned a lot about the culture and customs and traditions and for that i am grateful because it makes me understand "my" people more and i feel i should know SOMETHING about that culture (i knew more about swazi and ethiopian culture than my own!)

but hey, i am fluent in THIRD culture, that must count for something, right?

I think I used the wrong word. I didn't mean mindset. I meant a different way of thinking. The thought proses is different. I am half Finnish and half USA. I can't give very clear examples because it is so hard for me to understand the mind proses of Asians. it does not mean it is better or worse it is just different. After living as a TCK culture values and ways are not black and white they are all an option rather than the only way to do a thing. What i have seen the locals will have different concepts about things. Somewhere in this website someone posted the picture of the German culture vs Chinese culture. I browsed and found one picture by the same artist where the artist had a picture of the thought proses. The German was a straight line and the Chinese was full of turns and knots. It is beautiful how there can be so many differences.

Sky, you're right. I think being able to question and analyze your own culture is a sign of intelligence! There are some things people do in cultures that I would never consider doing just to fit in.

You mentioned the mindset was different from your family. What culture is your family from? What exactly was so different?

sorry typo.. i mean .." I have been toughed by my family."

I agree with all that. I am just wondering if we can ever know a culture. I mean I have lived in Thailand and Laos all my life and I still don't totally understand all about the culture. The mind set is so different from what I have been by through my family. I wonder if it is possible to even really understand any culture. There are many things about ones culture that could easily be forgotten or not even noticed. Things that would be seen only by foreigners, but they can not understand why they are that way. Some things I don't know why I do them the way I do. It is just culture.

I agree that it is worth it.

lol, that's true, I often don't understand pop culture. I can relate with different cultures, but when I went back to my home country.. that's another story!