I’ve caught myself fearing that any intimate relationships will come to an end and will not last. I had this fear that any factors could take away someone who becomes intimate with me. Accidents, death, separation, or whatever the factor may be… I feared that I could not put faith in lasting relationships.

This is what I am used to. A highly mobile lifestyle has constructed in my belief system that no friendship can last long enough. I once was happy and thankful that I had been forced to stay in the same university in the past three years despite itchy feet. I felt hurt because friends from before college seemed to not care enough about me to make friendships last. I was disappointed with many of my friends because of their lack of interest and care for me. I even told myself that I might as well cut off these friendships.

Then, two nights ago I listened to a sermon by the senior pastor of my church. I came to repentance because I learned that I was being selfish. It stood out “Are you going to stop loving the person because of their sins?” (Am I going to stop being friends because of what they’ve done wrong and said?) I know in my heart I wanted to cut off friendships because I was disappointed in these friends. But how can I show my love to somebody without loving somebody? This is what the pastor made me think.

“If you were another person would you like to be a friend of yours?” Asked the pastor.

“When we can stand in line together and have a commonality we can be friends with one another.”

When he said this statement he showed us a movie clip of Freedom Writers where classmates are divided in cliques but after playing a line game, learn that they are just like any other students who have lost friends through gang violence. And this illustration rocked me inside because I am no better than any other person.

Being a TCK does not make me special. I am just another human being. Why judge others thinking that I am better and deserve better?

I have also learned from the sermon that friendship is to encourage, to put conscious effort to strengthen, and to empower in finding strength in God. I have made a commitment that in the morning when I wake up I will think of at least one person I will encourage that day.

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