The TCKs I grew up with, or at least the ones I've regained contact with, are split almost equally amongst those who married before or after 25. I'm 28 and getting married this year. I guess technically you could accuse me of waiting till 29 since it'll be so close to my birthday. My brother, 32, just got married a few months ago. Incidentally, we've both chosen partners who are older. His wife (non-TCK) is 38. My fiance (also a non-TCK) is 41. Based on personal observation, age gaps aren't terribly uncommon amongst TCK marriages to non-TCKs.

On a side note, I did get engaged (but not married) when I was 21. There were definitely some TCK factors involved in that. 1) I didn't know yet I was a TCK. I felt like a freak, I was desperate to fit in, and I thought I was supposed to get married, have kids, etc. Getting married was like some sort of proof that I was just as normal as anyone else. 2) I was desperate for an anchoring point. I felt like if I got out of college unmarried and with no place to settle that I'd just end up adrift. Fortunately, I wasn't stupid enough to marry that guy, and I did get over those the TCK issues.

Like Lulu said, I think sometimes it's a parent culture thing.

My sister married at 22. Her experience suggested to me that... since we often didn't have the same friends for long, and in that way also our relationships didn't necessarily last long, they become more intense.

She told me later that she knew quite early on that she wanted to marry her would-be husband, within a month or two of them starting to date. This would be pretty unusual in many cases.

But as before, it's possible to argue that it too, is a TCK thing. The search for meaningful relationship intensifies it when it's found. You don't want to waste time.

So either way, it could be a TCK thing... or just as likely not.

Oh...another thing, alot of the tck's I know also got married before 25...but I think its more a parent culture thing! Being muslim and desi hehe

I got married at 23, have known my husband all my life, he is 8 years older, and and from the same parent culture, but he is very traditionally brought up. Worlds apart, we are. But we've been a thing all our lives. It was a little tricky at first...language was a huge issue cuz I'm wasn't very fluent in my mother tongue, and I'd only see him for a couple of weeks every year when the family went home for the summer breaks. We just knew we really liked each other, and that grew into love as we got older.

But he moved abroad for me, and it was like a whole new relationship, we've only ever had a few very short conversations over the years cuz my parents were very watchful ( secret rendezvous). The first week was amazing, we had so many misconceptions about each other, and at the end of it we were more in love than ever! We got married a year after getting to know each other better here! And happy as summer time...and planning to move again, we've already moved cities twice in the time we've been together officially.

Wow, that was a little hard on me, never actually tried to put that in words before...

Well let's see...damn near all of the MK's I know were married somewhere close to post HS graduation. Alot of the TCK's from HS are married, but funny enough not the career minded ones? When I was in my early teens, I made this whole plan where I'd graduate HS, finish college in 4yrs, and immediately have a good job, house, car, wife and kids all started about age 21...yeah, alot of that sure happened *rolls eyes*. I STARTED my first college in 1997, I've gone through two cars(on my third family car), two ex fiance's, and ten years after leaving the house found myself planted into a room of my parents new retirement house they bought due primarily to all that first college debt :-(....but my current GPA's 3.75 :-p. The first ex was a TCK with trust issues and the second, well I'm not sure that would pass the censors. needless to say she broke all my core rules and I've been mostly single for the last 6+ years...taking my time from now on ;-).....with a hint every year about grand children from the maternal's in my life.

I got hitched to my best friend when I was 26. He is a TCK and was 27. I think that's pretty young for today's standard. Maybe we leave marriage for last, because figuring out what we want to do in our life takes a lot time and energy. And we do not want anyone to stand in our way.

Oh definitely not I.

I'm twenty four now and while I'm looking, I am not involved with anyone. I plan to one day get married, it has been a fond dream of mine for a long time now, but I need to meet someone who understands me and can walk beside me first.

25 is old to get married now? I know it used to be, when people only lived to be 40, but in developed nations ppl are making it well into their 70's and later...

I'm 24 and nowhere near getting married. Actually, I don't think I ever want to, but even if I did, there are absolutely no prospects. I still haven't even been in a real relationship, so assuming I miraculously entered a relationship tomorrow, I still would be well past the age of 25 by the time I got married. Maybe like 40.

Well, I've hit 25 and I'm not married, not in a serious relationship and not really trying either. I have always thought that 28 would be a great age to get married. My friends sister got married at 28, she's a TCK and she thought 28 was too old.
Most of the girls I finished secondary school with are married and already have their first borns - they seem very settled.

Odd one out...Married at 22, still married at 40,(18 and 1/2 yrs.) we have 3 kids, 17, 15, and 5 1/2- (make no mistake!) My US passport wife was born in West Africa but left very young although she sought out international experiences. We have been in China now for 5 years.

I was 27 when I met my husband, and 28 when we were married. 29 when we had our first child.

We've been together now for 11 years, and will be married for 10 years at the end of this month.

I was 22 when I got married.

I was 22 the first time. Married a monocultural tech-wizard who assured me the he knew where "home" was. (I did not find out until later that college was the only time in his life he had ever left his home *county*, and that that he had no intention of ever leaving there again -- not even for a vacation!) Of course, at the time, I was still entirely traumatized by cross-cultural re-entry, just out of college, unsure of who I was supposed to be, or where I was supposed to "settle," and so the offer of marriage into a tight-knit community sounded really good to me. Worst mistake of my life to rush into a marriage simply b/c I was desperate to have a place to "belong."

I was 34 the second, very successful time I married, after I had completed my doctorate, and had a clear idea of who I actually WAS (well past the trauma of re-entry, and aware of my TCK heritage), and wise enough to ask the important deal-breaker questions BEFORE tying the knot: 1) would you be willing to live abroad? and 2) would you be willing to raise your children abroad?

25 is late! Are you a mormon? Hasidic Jew perhaps? 25, ha, I think I only hit puberty at 30.

UNTIL AFTER 25!!!!??? Are you kidding me!!!?

I'm in my late 20's early 30's and there's no hope in sight! It took ten years to get into this mess, and it took ten years to get out!

Now I'm expected to get married!!?? Learn to masturbate. You'll feel better, and less lonely... ;)

I was 36, my husband, also a TCK, is ten years younger than me. We've been married seventeen years and have no children (unless you count our dog and cats, which we do ;-) ).

I will be no younger than 26. Is that late? I think that people who marry before 25 marry early, which makes 25-33 (arbitrary age) just on time. Its all a matter of perspective I suppose.

My dad is an ATCK and didn't get married till he was 40. (but if you ask him he'll tell you he was 39 and three quarters)!

given that i'm soon to be 20 and have a poor track record of long stable relationships I'm pretty sure I fit into the 25 box.

I was 27.

I often wish I had waited until I was out of school and able to travel the world on my own terms, since I would have had the means to do it on my own. It is difficult to experience new places, things and people and also have to negotiate and compromise in order to have a successful marriage. I am able to do those things now, but at a pace slower than my natural one.

I don't think the fact that 41% of TCKs marry over the age of 25 means that they marry particularly late---at least here in Spain, where I live, very few are married before their late 20s or early 30s. In fact, most Spaniards in their mid 20s aren't even financially independent yet.

In South America, where I'm from, it is more normal to marry at 23-25, but mainly because people can't move in together without being looked down on, so they just go and get married if they want to live together.

But with regards to your original point, I think that the fact that TCKs marry later than the general population may have somehting to do with the fact that they tend to get more education and also that they may try several majors/unis/locations after high school before settling. A person who starts college at a later age and afterwards decided to pursue a master's or a doctorate will necessarily become financially independent later in life than those who finish high school at 18 or college at 22 and get to work right away. Also, as a person's family incomes goes up, so does the average age that they marry, generally speaking (though this may go back to the fact that better-off people are more likely to get advanced degrees). And although there are exceptions, most TCKs are from upper middle class or well-off families.

I was a couple of weeks shy of my 26th birthday the first time. We were married for 6 years. I remarried at 38, and we have just celebrated 20 years.

I felt too young the first time, and had always wanted to wait until I was 30-like my maternal grandmother!

I forgot to add - I've been married 16 years.

I married 6 days before my 27th birthday. If I knew then what I know now, I would have waited (but still marry the same man). We waited over 5 years to have our first child.

It was my 12th wedding anniversary last Sunday and I got married at the age of 28.

I was one month shy of my 25th birthday...and I still felt really young. I couldn't believe my husband was okay getting married at the ripe ol' age of 23. There was no way I was even close to emotionally stable enought to get married at 23. I'm 37 now, and we have a great marriage.

I am 25 and am planning on getting married but not sure when, maybe 26/27? Don't know. I am already in a 6 year relationship and this is so true to me:

"A sense of fitting in, of finding a home, is indicated by the fact that 70 percent say it would be somewhat or very difficult to leave their present community."

I do want to settle.

I was 25. I married a monocultural, and I guess it works because of other shared experiences.

Brice: For Norway I would argue that most people live together for several years before they marry, even though I think in some christian subgroups people would still get married in their early twenties.

30 seems to be the new average worldwide?

"What is the average at marriage worldwide?"

"In the US, for example, the average age at marriage varies according to social status, family traditions, and even geographical situation. Generally speaking, people in big cities tend to marry later and wait longer to have children, normally well into their 30s. People growing up in rural communities will probably get married for the first time in their early twenties. In developed countries, the average age at marriage has also been pushed back because many couples now choose to live together for years before even considering marriage. In the 1950s, when sharing a home before marriage wasn't the standard, people got married younger.

In countries such as India and Pakistan, where it is tradition that parents arrange weddings, the average age at marriage is 17, with many brides getting married as soon as they turn 15. This is the case also in many African countries, where economic factors force parents to marry off their daughters at an early age. Nigeria has some of the lowest averages in Africa, with most men getting married around 23 and most women at 17.

The average age at marriage peaks higher in Scandinavian countries such as Denmark, where the number is 30.2 for women and 32.5 for men. Sweden, Finland, and Norway are closely behind. In continental Europe, the average age at marriage is lower in the Eastern countries, where the numbers are barely 23 years of age for women in Poland and 26 for men in Romania.

China and Japan have joined European countries in their high averages, which are around 30 years old for both men and women. This is especially true of the major metropolitan zones, but rural areas are quickly catching up to the trend. It's important to note that, in many countries, the average age at marriage is closely related to the number of divorces that occur every year. Young couples have almost three times the chance of ending up divorced than people getting married after 27 years old. "

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_at_first_marriage

That depends on Obama.

I mean, um...

I'm 24 yo so probably when I'm in my early 30s. :)