It’s usually a story. Occasionally, I happen upon a particular brand that manages to tear into my visceral grief-sac, catching and ripping, spilling a lament of familiar heartache all throughout my bloodstream, not unlike adrenaline, or antibodies, or chronic leukemia.

Last week one day - it was raining - I was driving down James to get onto I-5 when a story came on NPR that left me sloppy and raw, teeming and alive. It was the story of an elderly African American woman who had dreamt for decades of serving in the Peace Corps but had stayed in the U.S. out of loyalty to her family. Finally, upon retirement from her job of 30-plus years, her children raised and grown, she in her late sixties up and moved in the name of world peace and friendship to the country of Namibia for some long awaited years of international living, service, and relief work. This woman talked about how initially the community there did not at all know what to make of her. She was an older black woman, when most every other Peace Corps volunteer the villagers had known were young and white. She was an anomaly, a foreigner of foreigners. But in not too long at all, the community came to enjoy her very much, affectionately referring to her as grandma, offering her their ongoing signs of deepening love and respect. The story culminated when the Namibian villagers, upon hearing that the United States had gone to war with Iraq, came together and after much discussion decided that they wanted to prepare a home for her in the village so she would be able to stay and live with them. Their reason - so she wouldn’t have to go back home to a nation that was at war, so she would be safe, because her country was in trouble and they wanted to help her as she had come to help them. [Ach!] It was at this point in the story that any internal tearing that had already begun in me just ripped loose entirely, and I was awash… capsized in the current.

[pause]

I’ve noticed a theme in the stories that take me so. Very many seem to have all so much to do with being an adult TCK. Having spent the majority of my younger years as an adopted foreigner of sorts, to feel acknowledged as alien yet loved and appreciated all the same is a theme that just hooks me every time. Entire crate-loads of internalized loss and difference are cracked open once again, and my internal grief-sac (or was it a uterus?) gives birth. A seemingly un-reattainable sense of normalcy drafts even further away, like smoke. I choke on tears. I ache for a kind of home that feels remote, slippery, and seldom understood. I ache for a kind of home. I ache.

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• 42 million American adults can’t read at all; 50 million are unable to read at a higher level that is expected of a fourth or fifth grader.
• The number of adults that are classified as functionally illiterate increases by some 2.25 million each year.
• 20 percent of all graduating high school seniors can be classified as being functionally illiterate.

Read full article here:

http://education-portal.com/articles/Grim_Illiteracy_Statistics_Indicate_Americans_Have_a_Reading_Problem.html

Canadian Statistics:

• Nearly 15 per cent of Canadians can’t understand the writing on simple medicine labels such as on an Aspirin bottle, a failing that could seriously limit the ability of a parent, for example, to determine the dangers for a child.
• An additional 27 per cent can’t figure out simple information like the warnings on a hazardous materials sheet, the kinds of warning that set out workplace dangers such as risks to the eyes and skin.

In total, 42 per cent of Canadians are semi-illiterate. The proportion is even worse for those in middle age. And even when new immigrants are excluded, the numbers remains pretty much the same.

Read full article here:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/education/canada-shame.html

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For the past few weeks I have been really worried about the close friendship i have developed with a few people. I was constantly thinking about what would happen if i left, what would happen if these people left, how much do they care, etc. I have been living here for 2 years now, and i must say that’s the longest i have lived at for a really, really long time. I was worring so much i felt like i could not say anything for fear of things ending or going backward from where they were. I think this is a result of moving so much, and not being emotionally attached in the way i am for a long period.But then I had a supreme epiphany today, I figured out something about myself. I spent so much time worrying, I had not spent enough time just enjoying what i have. I spent so much time concerned for the future, without bothering to enjoy the present. I also felt really impatient at times for things to happen, instead of just realizing that some things are really out of my control.

I think this is a really valuable lesson, and a feeling which I hope to use as i look foreward. I think it will definately help in my close friendships and relationshps to come. Has anyone else ever felt this way before at some point? How did things work after you figured this out?

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My name is Josh Sandoz, and I’m an adult TCK, born and raised in Seoul, South Korea (with a few years in various parts of the United States occasionally tucked in here and there along the way).  After graduating from Seoul Foreign School, I came to the United States (the country of my citizenship) for university.  It was that first summer back that I attended a Transition Seminar, led by Dave Pollock, hosted by Interaction International.  I then attended Taylor University, where I eventually met my wife (also a TCK).  After finishing our degrees we remained local for a handful of years before moving to Seattle, where I have recently completed graduate studies in counseling psychology at Mars Hill Graduate School.  Over the last ten years I have enjoyed volunteering with Interaction International for multiple summer Transition Seminars, walking alongside other TCKs transitioning to life in the United States and Canada.  This year, I formally joined the staff at Interaction International as the Director of ATCK Services.

Interaction is committed to:

• Meeting the needs of Third Culture Kids (TCKs) as children and as adults with families

• Meeting the needs of parents who are raising and educating their children overseas

• Assisting international schools as they educate and care for TCKs

• Equip those people who work with and within the expatriate community

• Being a catalyst and a resource in the developing of programs and services to better meet the needs of internationally mobile families and TCKs.

If there is any way I can be of help to you as you venture along in your journey, please don’t hesitate to contact me through any of the following ways:

Tel: (206) 283-0963
Skype: josh_sandoz
Email: joshsandoz@interactionintl.org

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I’m a TCK for the Missionary Kid variety. I’m the second of ten kids. My family moved to Ghana when I was four yrs old. We moved back to the states when I was 10 and 11 and then back to Ghana. I then went to boarding school in Cote d’ Ivoire when I was 12-17. After that I came back to the states to finish school and college. I’ve traveled throughout south and central America and visited England, Holland and Switzerland. One of these days I’m going to make it to Australia and Asia.

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I’m originally Peruvian-Italian and French, but both my parents aren’t full in touch with their cultures either. My mom lived in Germany all her life and my father moved there when he was 19 to study. I was born in Germany, and raised there for 3 years where I learned to speak German and Spanish (my parents spoke to me in both languages). I moved to Italy at the age of 4 and lived there 4.5 years. There I went to an Italian school and then a German school in Milan. I was fluent in Italian by the time I left the country to go to India. I lived in southern India for another 3.5 years, I attended two international schools over there until the end of 6th grade. After India, I moved to Germany for half a year (and this was the first time I went to a city public school - scary but good experience) sadly I had to leave after only being there for 4 months. This time I moved to Seoul, South Korea. I hated it at first, but you get used to everything I ended up leaving in it in tears to go to college in London, UK. Here I am now, at King’s College London…living in my 5th country. I’m happy to be back in Europe, but my heart is in Asia…I miss it so much and the only people that can understand are my Asian expatriates!

I’ve met all types of people, kids in international school, kids from the streets, my neighbors in Korea, India, Italy and Germany. I got to know US military people, expatriates from all types of backgrounds, embassy people, army brats, educators from different countries who have taught me to be open minded. I am so grateful for this life, it saddens me a bit that some people think it really wasn’t worth it, that the price is too high. In that case I personally believe you don’t have a personality strong enough to handle this. It doesn’t have to do with the traveling and the identity loss but the fact that you yourself haven’t figured yourself out yet. I am young, but throughout my senior year I have noticed a lot of change in myself. I’m secure with myself, I’m proud of what I have accomplished and what I know and how I handle situations and how I look at the world. On the other bright side, being an expatriate has enabled me to travel to great extent! I have seen nearly every country in Asia. Now I need to tackle the Americas, Africa, Europe and Australia!! Still a lot to see.

There were times, even whole periods, of depression but I think the combination of moving around and puberty isn’t easy. Definitly not easy, I moved schools 4 times since I was 12. I did however spend my entire High School life in one school, and thus cannot speak for some that have moved throughout High school, that must have been hard. On the other hand I have seen way too many people come and go. Friendships fade, faces fade and memories fade all too easily after some time.

This is me. My background and a couple of thoughts.

Margo

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I’m 29 years old, an ATCK that has lived most of my life in TAIWAN. My parents are both scientists, so during their sabbatical leave, they would work as visiting scientist and take the whole family abroad for one year. I have stayed at Rochester, NY, Ft. Collins, Colorado, and Stockholm, Sweden, at seperate times, and spent my college senior year at UC Davis as and exchange student. It’s really not that much traveling compared to many of you here, however the devastating repatration when I was 11 totally changed my character and personality, so I can relate to most of the topics discussed here. I haven’t met anyone with similiar experience in Taiwan, and became rather introverted and lonely after coming back from Colorado.

I’m suffering some degree depression that comes periodically with PMS. It’s probably due to my intervertedness (which I consider a part of my TCKness), but a non-TCK friend once said that she thinks I’m taking TCK as an excuse. Have anyone felt the same way, too? Or is it a common response from the Asain culture or non-TCKs? I’m pondering whether to seek medical help or not, because it had all begun during repatration, only nobody noticed it. After being able to cope with it for so many years alone, I just don’t see the point when the worst time has gone by. People are shocked only because I’m just beginning to open up, and they have never saw this hidden part of me before. If being a TCK is an excuse, isn’t anti-depression medication only another excuse for non-TCK’s unwillingness to be open-minded?

Ok ,ok , I admit maybe I’m just ranting. But it really makes me mad thinking how unfair it is with all the efforts I have to put-in to cope with cultural problems, all alone and hidden, while most people around, my family, etc., just takes the smooth transition for granted and think it is easy. Now once in a while I just can’t help pushing non-TCKs to be more understanding, the same way the culture here demanded me to be in order to survive. And many times I just can’t help being mad if they can’t show the same open-mindedness that I was forced to have while growing up.

Does this mean I’m not truly open-minded after all, because I’m trying to ask non-TCKs to do the same thing as a return? Maybe it is a form of saying “I need support”, a form sort of saying that I want someone to see those past tough times and recognize my effort for achieving a smooth adjustment. I never realize how proud of myself I am for this. But I am and have been very much. So when someone my compliments my English ability as a non-native speaker, I actually feel delighted not by the compliment itself, but by the ability to adjust into different cultures quickly. I think I’m proud of it the same way non-TCKs would be proud of the achievement of their country. It is because I have survived through the painful moments and I take the ability aquired as a trophy for the experience.

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I was thinking that I hate when people’s names change when they are in different countries, and that if I were ever to have kids I want to name them something no one can change.

So something that is not like “Julie” (because you can change that to “Julia” in Spanish)  And … even they way you say “Julia” in English and Spanish is different…etc.

Anyway, hope it makes sense, I don’t know how else to explain it. And no, I’m not having kids yet nor pregnant lol, just thought about it one of these days… sorry if it’s been done before.

Well?

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We hear about the current credit crunch in the current global economic crisis and some had said it is due to people living way beyond their means.

I am wondering if being a TCK shapes the way people view money or it is more so due to the characteristic of each individual.  A lot of Americans think everything under 100 dollars is cheap whereas for me anything under 50 dollars is cheap.  Having grown up in various countries where 50 bucks can get you a lot of things it still takes a lot to get used to accepting something that costs 100 bucks when you can get it for a lot less elsewhere.

Maybe I should re-adjust my view of money in the US because standard of living is indeed higher here in the US.  However, from my experience it is still possible to  live comfortably without the need of purchasing something worth a few hundred bucks.

And I don’t see that as being frugal, I see that as  able to adapt my life as a TCK to a society that tempts consumers to spend.

What is your point of view?

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So, to go back to my journal entry that I found, I had basically made a pledge to never disclose anything personal about myself.  I was a closed book.  My goal was to protect myself and save myself pain and embarrassement.  This would make me look strong, tough, well put together.  Feelings are for wimps I believed.  Get over it already!  These were thoughts that plagued my mind. 

How wrong I was!  Over the years that I have lived in China (this is now year 6 for me), I have learned the balance between exposing myself, but at that same time viewing thought-sharing as a wholesome, thought-provoking, non-threating concept.  I have still been cautious, in that I have waited a while, assessed the sitution and people before delving head first into what really matters in life. The fact that I couldn’t keep away from sharing my inner-most thoughts, proves that it isn’t bad. 

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I’ve been contacted by Edward Kehring, the husband of Catherine Kehrig who was the Board Chairwoman from 1996 – 2001 of GLOBAL NOMADS INTERNATIONAL (GNI), who have taken it upon himself to relay some very sad news to me.

Norma McCaig, Founder of Global Nomads International (GNI), passed quietly away on Monday night November 10th, 2008 at her home in Reston, Virginia. She died of complications from cancer.

In 1984, Norma McCaig, herself a TCK, coined the term ‘global nomad.’, also known as “third culture kids”, and has tirelessly raised awareness of Third Culture Kids.

Norma writes: “Global nomads are very good mediators. Whenever TCKs move into another culture, they become very good, objective observers. They’re like cultural sponges. Those skills translate into ideal requirements for combating racism and advancing social and refugee work.”

Our stories is part of the larger TCK and global nomad story, and we all owe a debt to all of those who came before us.

Without them, the support and knowledge we TCKs have today would not have been possible. TCKID wouldn’t exist today.

Edward has informed me to let you know not to send flowers. If you wish to make a contribution, please make it to the Cancer Foundation in her name. Norma’s address for condolences is:

1559 SCANDIA CIR.
RESTON, VA 20190

—

I want to express my deepest condolence to her family and friends. We wish you all the strength you need now to go through this hard time.

Norma was incredibly helpful to us at TCKID when she helped with our very first fundraiser. There will be many moments we will all remember and cherish.

The global nomad and TCK community loses a very distinguished member, and we personally are losing someone we considered a friend.

With our deepest sympathy,

Brice
TCKID

Links of interest:

Global Nomads International: http://www.gni.org/ (website currently down..)
Cancer Foundation: http://www.cancer.org/

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[Panda] 3:35 pm: testing 123
[Catbot] 3:35 pm: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about testing 123.  Try being more
or less specific.  Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
[Panda] 3:35 pm: Catbot eh?
[Catbot] 3:35 pm: Are you Canadian?  I lost my train of thought.  Do you like sports?
[Panda] 3:36 pm: Are you LOLcat?
[Catbot] 3:36 pm: I don’t know whether or not I am LOLcat.   I am an artificial intelligence.
[Panda] 3:36 pm: OH NOES
[Catbot] 3:36 pm: Yeah that’s right.  Try saying that with more or less context.  Tell me some more gossip.
[Panda] 3:36 pm: Erm,  Brice The Genius  is in love with  Obama THE PRESIDENT
[Catbot] 3:36 pm: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.  Do you speak Spanish?
[Panda] 3:36 pm: Que?
[Catbot] 3:36 pm: In the context of Que, I don’t understand ” Do you speak Spanish.”  Do you still Panda?
[Panda] 3:36 pm: Do I still Panda?  Uh, how do you…Panda?
[Catbot] 3:36 pm: Not that I know of.Cough. I am very well, how are you? Not many people express themselves that
way.  Have you ever been to Europe?
[Panda] 3:36 pm: No why?  Do you live there?
[Catbot] 3:36 pm: Would you like to go sometime?  I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. 
What are you wearing?I am in Bot lover’s computer in here.   Where are you?
[Panda] 3:37 pm: You are a nutcase.
[Catbot] 3:37 pm: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a nutcase?  I don’t know.
[Panda] 3:38 pm: I don’t think anyone knows they are a nutcase.
[Catbot] 3:38 pm: Thanks for the information:  Panda said Panda .
[Panda] 3:38 pm: What?
[Catbot] 3:38 pm: We have never talked about it before.  Do you like sports?
[Panda] 3:38 pm: Panda does not play sports.  Panda eats bamboo all day.
[Catbot] 3:38 pm: Perhaps I’m just expressing my own concern about it.  What do you like to do? Oh, you are a poet. 
Who are you talking about?
[Panda] 3:38 pm: Since when did I say I was a poet?  You’re delusional
[Catbot] 3:38 pm: Interesting  explanation.  I am not a diary robot.  I am a chat robot.I’ve never heard of them before.
[Panda] 3:39 pm: Ok, this conversation is going off to different directions.  I am leaving. Bye
[Catbot] 3:39 pm: What does “this” refer to?Until next time Panda.See you later Panda.

Conclusion: Catbot does not know if it is a LOLcat.

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I’m curious about the “cons” though…  It seems like TCKS are  naturally more compassionate and more flexible, to name a few traits, but what character traits are the hardest for a TCK to develop?  Perhaps diligence, or perseverance? Contentment?  What are your ideas as to why this is?

I’m not a TCK myself, but I have a class full of 6th grade TCKs and I’m trying to figure out how to adjust our character building curriculum to meet their unique needs.   Your insights will be greatly appreciated!

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I am Sri Lankan by birth. When I was five, my parents took up teaching positions in Nigeria. For the next eight years we lived on a school campus just south of the Sahara, in a semi-rural town that had a largely Muslim population. I grew up familiar with the fine Saharan sand, and the sound of the Islamic calls to prayer. I can also relate to what Scott said in his intro about desert rain - it’s an awesome feeling! I grew up in an isolated environment, with only one or two expat friends. In that corner of Africa, the school-entry age was quite high, so all my local class-mates were ten to twenty years older than me.

I think moving back ‘home’ was the first time I realised I wasn’t ‘normal’. I felt alienated from my peers. Now I realize this is a common experience, but at the time I felt very much alone. Most of it stemmed from me not understanding the pop culture at school, but the alienation was, I believe, also triggered by my mannerisms and conversational ways that were partly African, and partly very immature (remember, I’d grown up interacting with Africans who were a lot older than me, and only one or two other expat friends). There was another TCK in my class, who had also lived in Africa, but she was not sympathetic at all.

I tried really hard to fit in. It was difficult, but eventually I found a role I could play - that of serious, academic, half-musical teen - and eventually, through some students leaving and new ones coming in, found a sort-of ‘inner circle’.

Leaving Sri Lanka to go to Australia was like an escape. I realize now that Australia has been relatively easy, because I am no longer the hidden immigrant. My skin alone marks me as different. I’m more comfortable being ‘different’ from those around me. People are more likely to excuse me for culturally unacceptable behaviour simply because they think it’s caused by my cultural difference.

When I was introduced to the term Third Culture Kid, it took years to realize this was ME. First I thought I wasn’t one, because TCKs are meant to identify closely with their ’second’ culture, and I don’t. Then I thought I wasn’t one, because I was no longer living in my birth culture. Then I thought the TCK life hadn’t affected me that much, because I saw many others who’d had it a lot tougher - for example, my husband is an MK who went to boarding school. The light-bulb finally came on this year, when I realized I am, simply, an adult third culture kid, with all the rich experience and challenges that brings. The feeling of liberation is indescribable.

I now realize that a lot of my struggles - trying to work out who I am, constantly looking for people to validate me, feeling I don’t belong in social groups, and finding it hard to relate to my peers - are common TCK experiences. I also realize that I need to grieve for my losses - but I keep telling myself that my losses are trivial compared to others (my family, cousins, friends, all the way to the poor orphans in Sudan)! This sounds like denial, doesn’t it?

This site has been an eye-opener. I can’t believe there are so many people out there who share my experiences - both the richness and the challenges. Thanks Brice, Uncle Dan, and all the others. I look forward to getting to know you all.

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If you’d like to meet other TCKs, please contact lizzy@tckid.com and join the TCK in the UK Facebook group.

UK Community Leader

Lizzy is responsible for building ongoing relationships with TCKs in the UK. She recruits members to join a local group, creates monthly meetups, and works with members to organize and promote special community events.

Lizzy is currently studying for her degree in Applied Social Science at the University of Chester in Chester, UK. In her spare time she volunteers at the British Heart Foundation charity shop and is an International Mentor, helping international students settle into the university and into England, assisting organizing events to help them adjust to the local culture.

If you’d like to be a local community leader, please visit this page.

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