Selando: High five! Speaking of Canada, I've
been to Motreal to visit here. Like it,
but what I've heard is that Canadian culture
have lots of similarities as American culture
Please correct me if I am wrong
Yeah, most Korean-Americans only know
Korea and U.S. as their world
They gossip behind one another's back
and seems to forget that one of the main
element of American culture is individualism
They become 'Korean' or 'American' based
on their own greeds...last part disgusts me the most
For these reasons (and other ones too),
I refuse to go to Korean church both in 'abroad'
and in Korea
With that Flipino girl, I do understand where
she's coming from, and since it's only 1 year
in Canada, I think she does need more time to
see real Canada (I have a feeling she will stay
here anyways, but that's her choice -_-)
Good luck with whatever choice you make!
Hopefully it'll be happy for u too :D
Thanks and hopefully I'll get to hear how
Taiwan was like, since Taiwan was a country
where I wanted to go for study abroad badly

About Canada...

I had a funny experience with that country recently. I went in, and was waiting at immigration.

There was one man at the desk next to me, seemed vaguely Middle-Eastern in origin, probably more Central-Asian. The officer gave him a bit of a time, but I didn't really hear what was discussed.

Anyway, he moves on, and the officer turns to another next to him and says "No offense or anything, but with war in Afghanistan and Iraq, you don't know if you can trust these people."

I'm not even kidding. There was a definite... feeling among the officers that Canada was the place that everyone was trying to get into, and they were the ones keeping the civilized world safe.

Americans have a similar perception and attitude. It was Memorial Day recently, which is everyone's excuse to support the troops and show how patriotic they are... but the message felt wrong. The overriding assumption was that American troops were "defending our freedoms." Honestly, that's not what they're doing. They're defending our interests, not always aligned with freedom. Militaries are used just as often for domestic suppression as they are for external projection of force.

But that's beside the point. The main point to take from this is that there's a great assumption that whatever they do is good, right and everything American is, by proxy, also good and right. "God's Country" indeed.

Just to note. God wasn't part of the American political mythos until the 1950s, as a means to separate American Democracy from the "godless" Communists, and place them on the "right" side of things.

I'm in a similar place. I'm stuck in Calgary (Alberta, Canada), trying to get over with university, but i wish i could study in another country. I'm so sick of the west! I grew up in Taiwan, and I'm so sick of people thinking I'm some poor missionary kid from some third world country (Taiwan, like Korea, as you know, isn't a third world country). In true i often find Canada to be much more backwards.

Although its very multicultural here, and Canada probably has the most respect for diversity then most countries, people of all elasticities seem to think Canada and the west is superior to the world.

Many Christians are also living under the delusion that North America is Gods country, when in fact Korea probably has the highest % of Christians in the world. I once had a guy ask me what it was like being back in "God's Country", i couldn't help but laugh in his face. People here are so ignorant, yet they try so hard to come off as well informed.

people can't understand why i don't want to spend the rest of my life here! They think I'm crazy! (well they're probably right about that, haha!)

"But it's true. I feel far better not fitting in at all, and being a foreigner up front, than being that "hidden immigrant"."

-aymen brother!

"The problem with Asian-American communities (well, any -American community) is that they expect you to adapt as they have, in the expectation that you are like them."

-that seems to be the case here. In fact probably one of the people who's given me the hardest time, is a Filipino girl, who just arrived like 1 year ago. She seems to think that Canada and the US are the best places in the world, and Can't understand why I would ever want to move back to Taiwan, and like what she said "especially since your white!" So because I'm white I have to live in Canada, while every other ethnicity can move to whatever country they want?

It's funny how so many immigrants move to Canada, become citizen's and get equal rights (actually more rights then me due to the new citizenship law of Canada). and when i talk about doing the same think, in their country, their like, but your "white".

Anyways I'm getting way off topic, I should post this under "equal citizenship laws for all countries!" haha.

anyways, I hope living in California gets easier for you! I would definantly recomend you to visit anouther country after university (but then again, I'm not your mom, haha). Truethfully the only way i've been able to bare living in Canada fro such a long time, is because i've promised myself to leave as soon as uni is over with. I'm still picking my country, I'm torn between returning to Taiwan, or trying out Spain, or somewhere in LAmerica.

My bad, thanks to L, Miyon, and Zoe too!
Looking forward to get to know
all of you...haha

One more thing about Western supremacy
that Asian (parents, esp) have:
"If you can't marry someone from our
nationality, marry a white guy"
UGH! dating and marrying should not
happen because of the preference of
nationality or ethnicity solely!!
Thanks, Uncle Dan. It's really hard to
find someone to talk about it

Yeah, I agree with you. I've had Asian friends who were pushed into Western countries to go to not-very-good schools... but because it was prestigious that their kids were studying in Sydney, or something silly like that.

For example, USF (University of San Francisco) has a reputation for being full of Indonesians who have a lot of money, and didn't need to try too hard to get in, and still get the prestige of having studied at an American university.

But I agree. Never feel pushed. Whatever you decide, it should be your own decision. Even if you feel your responsibility to your family is at the top, that's still your choice.

Just to add something, I don't dislike the West
I do admire lots of things about West
It's just that I dislike the 'Western supremacy'
idea that some people (both Asian and Western
people, sadly) have
I am all right with Asians who are comfortable
with West culture, as long as they don't
try too hard to push me into

I know where it comes from,
and yeah, Western influence will always
be here, but I also believe that Asia
will rise someday and that there will
be more Westerners who are willing to
go to Asia to live there etc.,
Who knows? There might be a day when
people look up to people who lived in
both West and East a lot?
Therefore, I am very fed up with
Asian's "OH OH! West IS the best place in
the world to do everything!" idea
I used to look really up to U.S. as a little
kid going to American International school,
but after living at U.S., I realized that its
not what I imagined as a child
Anyways, I find 'American (or 'European'
whatsoever) Dream' and 'God bless
America (why not God bless the world?)'
irritating
End of my complaining: I'll just do whatever
I can do, be patient with myself and other
people who don't understand me, and
see what a time tells me what to do
One definately Americanish-me won't
let other people stop me as long as
I feel that I have good reasons,and thought
hard about pros and cons (sorry Mom)
I hope whatever decision I chose to make
makes me happy at the end
Life after university...so scary!!!

MochiGreen:

Nice to meet u too!!~~~

That last worry really hits me me too. That's the biggest reason I don't want to settle in the US: Here, it feels like my international experience would dwindle to unimportance. The world still feels far, far away.

But it's true. I feel far better not fitting in at all, and being a foreigner up front, than being that "hidden immigrant". The problem with Asian-American communities (well, any -American community) is that they expect you to adapt as they have, in the expectation that you are like them.

But not only are you not like them, BUT you don't actually aspire to be American. This is probably a major difference between you and any immigrant, in that you didn't go there looking for freedom, money and the freedom to make money.

So... my argument is that if you don't aspire to be American, don't try too hard. Establish your foreign-ness, let that define who you are, rather than just be a subsect of -American. Do that while you're here, and look to get out.

Asians, I believe, tend to want their kids to go to Western countries for their opportunities because there's greater perceived prestige in doing so. It's true, a American/Australian/British university degree means a LOT in Asia. Work experience in these countries also means a lot. So I imagine they have a hard time with you wanting to work elsewhere too.

Which is why I continue to advocate Europe, haha. It's Western, it has amazing variety of cultures and languages... and is not American.

Zoe: yeah, CA=California :)
Nice to meet u!

Miyon and Uncle Dan: I know...parents do
it because they know me best, so they think
that what they want for me is best, but they
don't fully understand about being TCK, although
they do know that I am haha
At least, they letted me travel a lot, which I
do appreciate it
Ahhh..hopefully I get into the school internship
job that I just applied for (it's paid too)...I hate
that I only can work at school
Why can't they understand that while I do take
education seriously, I do need a 1 yr break from
school (since I've been at school for 12+ straight yrs),
step back, and just see the world after graduation?
My mom wanted to go study abroad in France for
display, but she putted off, which led to the
biggest regret of her life because she didn't go
at ALL
Ironically, it made me question more about her claim
What if I am stuck at U.S., still only speak 2 languages,
and bitter at U.S. all my life?
After all, I don't fit at Korean-American community
(I refuse to.Go figure) and I know I'll never
perfectly fit with 'white (or white-washed)
majority' side of American community
I'd rather tolerate being treated as foreigner/
American at Asia

There is that difficult... division, isnt' there? This is something that I think we have in common with Asian-Americans. Americans preach independence and individualism, and encourage you to strike out on your own and make your own decisions. But Asian cultures tend to want you to at least respect your family's wishes, and with good reason: They helped you that far already, you have a responsibility to them, and to your future family to succeed.

And these two mindsets don't cooperate, so it's pretty difficult. I have friends who go and backpack, or take gap years to just explore and live out their youth. These stories feel so... inspiring. I want to go out and do that.

But at the same time, I'd have to face my family's impression that while doing this I'm not doing myself any good: I'm not being productive with my precious time, and time is indeed precious.

So what to do? I guess we all figure it out individually for ourselves.

MochiGreen,

I understand that about Korean traditional views and emphasis on education. In many ways my brother understands me better than my parents at times due to both our upbringing abroad since childhood. I think learning to excercise independence from parents is a matter different from the Caucasian-American's experience. Many Caucasian American young adults earn their living expenses and tuition during college, but Korean young adults are typically funded by their parents. Due to this, Korean young adults though are considered 'adults,' it is difficult to make their own decisions without the parental consent. In my opinion, becoming financially independent means you can rightfully say you want to take a one-year gap between college and grad school. But I know how frustrating what you are going through may be. While you want to be a good daughter to your parents (due to the collective culture: children represents their parents), it is challenging to pursue your own drive that makes you who you are.

?? ????? ???. ???? ??? ???? ?? ?? ?? ?? ? ??? ????? ?? ?? ???? ??? ?? ???? ??? ?? ?? ???? ???.

What's CA? California?? (Haven't lived in the States)

Hi, Miyon! :-)
I do miss Korea a lot, but then i don't
see it as a place where I can stay and work
permanently
Maybe working temporarily in there, but
I know I'll be annoyed by the corporate culture there
being TCK=oxymoron hahaha
I talked to my family about going to Asia after
graduation. My mom frowns about it and wants me
to stay in U.S. (not forever, but still, for quite a while)
She even dislikes the fact that if I do want to go
to go to grad school, I want to take a year off first
after undergrad undergraduation
gap year=waste of time (according to her logic)
Korean 'traditional' parents...sigh...
??? ???? ??
My brother is much more understanding, though
I could see that as long as i know what I am doing,
he will support it
Maybe cuz while he's much more 'Korean' than I am,
we both grew up abroad unlike our parents
I don't even know anymore, except that my heart
cries out to get out of States temporarily to
see another side of the world, and that Asia
is good place for me for that (maybe because
I am very aware that my root=Asian?)
Hopefully if that itchiness is not going away,
I'm willing to pursue it no matter what others say
If not, hopefully I can relocate to East Coast
(Love CA, but its time to say good-bye!) and
be happy with that decision
I'll ask you this time
What do you think, Miyon?

hi MochiGreen. i am a Korean TCK too and lived in the States from summer 2001. i am majoring in International Studies and I have an older brother. Pretty cool, isn't it?

i understand how you feel about having an itchy foot and wanting to travel and what it's like to talk to people who have never gone out of the country, some even out of their town, and love to stay in their comfort zone.

i am not sure if this will help but the moment i decided that i will study abroad in Japan (where i grew up in during childhood), the itchy foot was gone. many circumstances prevented me from studying abroad for years including financial reasons and i know how frustrating it is to not be able to go somewhere other than the current place. and you must miss Korea, like a part of your home is there. isn't that right?

i did come to Japan where i am now but considering the financial burden i think i could have chosen a different option. because the moment i made the decision to go abroad the itchy foot was gone, maybe i can plan it more realistically to live abroad once i graduate. or maybe if not to live abroad, to make a short trip to at least to be out of the place for a bit--something on a smaller scale.

what do you think?

Well, not away to abroad before I graduate,
but I can travel as long as my parents let me
I'll see what i can do about ur advice :D
I'm majoring in Global Studies

Hey Mochi!

Can you travel around during holidays? that always helps I find... even if it's just around the corner- finding a 'secret place' where you can re-energize. I know how frustrating it can get when you live around people who have never left the town and don't seem to plan to either.. it's so DULL!! No wonder you're feeling restless... but hang in there and just be receptive and treat everyone as an individual.
What are you studying?