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does anybody hear her?

norway last summer.
Petronas Twin Towers

Petronas Twin Towers

i look to my right, and see a vietnamesian hat, one of those straw hats that people workign the fields use. I must have bought it on my last vacation. if i continue to look around me, i will probably see things from all parts of the world. i think my future house will look more like a museum than a home.

my rooms a mess, i dont really care to clean it thought, since were moving into an apartment complex next weekend. alot has been happening these last weeks, and my memory is on over load, and i can't even remeber what class i had first today.

My life is a permanent roller coaster, and i've have just been on the spinn of a lifetime. I always tend to get myself into those stero type teenage situations. Things that have happened in the last 2 weeks:
daddy had a shoulder surgery and i visited him at the hospital several times.
i had a horseback riding competition 2 days after that.
I went on a weekend trip to Penang, which was alot of fun, with my friend reka (her name in my language, well my first language which is norwegian, means shrimp... :P).
School has been on overload for months now.
My mother has been in a bad mood.
My older sister got a bf (random right?) and we've been bussy making fun of her that he actually is somewhat normal looking, with no piercings, tatoos, dreadlocks,( i actually like those kind of things but my parents hate it) and not wearing purple tights and yellowsunglasses. (i have a WEIRD sister, okay.)
My mom discovered a piercing i got over 2 months ago, freaked out and gave me the entire body image lecture again. (yes mom, i am aware i have all the holes in my body i need...)
The school nurse grossed me out, going on and on and on abt pap smears, vag exams and birth controll pills, when all i wanted was something for my head. So i am NEVER going back to the nurse, seriously, i couldnt eat the rest of the day.
My friend passed out several times on our weekend trip, and shes heavy to carry!
My parents spontaniously decided that were gonna move houses within 2 weeks.
And my parents also decided that were staying one more year in KL, and that im not allowed to go to a boarding school, using my sister as a negative example of how bad she managed by herself.
I had a super duper big fight with my boyfriend. He dumped me. Then we didnt last 24 hours before he begged me to come back, and honestly, he didnt have to.
oh, and did i forgett eh part with the dinner party i had with my friends, which kicked butt. it was so fun.
And then there was that day where my parents accused me of being a slut, a prostitute, for selling myself, and for being a whore.
There was also the day where my mother literally exploded at dinner, expressing how much she hates my boyfriend.She really has no reason, i think its because shes turning 50 soon, and realizes shes old.
Then there were all those fights with my parents about this summer. I really don't want to spend my entire summer in norway, and then they go on and on about me loosing my language and my home. well guys, news flash, i lost it ages ago. i dont even think in norwegian unless i really have to, i hate the people (no offence) and the entire way of being over there. I will go for a month, but i also want time here in kl, where my life is.

who else thought, are dragged of to their 'home country' every summer?
i dont want to go norway, i have nothing to do there, and its just boring. and i dont really know anyone any more.

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  • not every summer per se..but i am asked to visit my parents' home country over the summer. some people ask me "are you excited to go back to Korea?" and i tell many people who are visiting Korea that i envy them. i say that just to sound normal to them.

    i don't feel and think like Korean and the thought of revisiting the place puts me under discomfort. But then I am learning that it was helpful for me to visit the place last summer after having been away for 6 years. i left Korea feeling resentment towards people (me too, no offense) and whenever i saw Korean international students in the US where i live now, the last thing i wanted to do was to associate with them (there are exceptions of course). Visiting Korea has changed the way I think about Koreans. What i strongly believed to be true about Koreans wasn't necessarily true. Before, I thought i had been misunderstood and mistreated, but during the visit, I realized how narrow-minded i had been.

    when you visit Norway again julia, how about you examine whether your past negative experience reflect today's society? i think you will find good things that you haven't seen before.
  • kristine
    Ah, someone i can relate to. the usualy lectures that i never listen to, except for the things they tell me not to do, i listen to those, so i can occasionally rebel against them. ahh, the life of a teenager. julia, i feel your pain (and joy). that's life at a normal pace to me XD
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