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Difficult decisions

Hey everyone,

So i think I am asking for advice, but I may also just be ranting and getting my thoughts out.. But i would really appreciate any type of advice, opinions, or comments from anyone.

I’m currently in the process of deciding on what to study for graduate school. I am on a 2 year break (I got my B.S. in psychology in May of 2008). I know for sure that I want to do something related to psychology, but sociology is not far out of reach for me.

Here is a little bit of my background. Ever since high school, I was convinced I wanted to get a PhD in clinical psychology and work with the mentally ill populations and study mental illnesses. I have a very intense personality (some may even say obsessive), and when i decide i am going to do something, i do everything i can. Based on this decision, once I entered college, I went a little nuts with opportunities to expand myself in this field. I became Co-President of our school’s chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, I volunteered at a community support program for the mentally ill, and started doing research at a lab about psychopaths. You get the idea.. I devoted my entire life to it. During my junior year, I took a class about problems American racial/ethnic minorities face, and was so moved by it that I decided that I wanted to pursue a PhD in social psychology instead, studying prejudice. Here are my mental blocks when it comes to this.. First off.. I am a VERY inflexible person, it is one of my biggest flaws and I know it. It was extremely difficult for me to decide on this change of heart, because everything I had done up until then concerned clinical psychology.. So, all of the stuff i had done outside of school to boost my resume and to gain experience doesn’t really mean anything anymore to graduate schools (i am sure it means something, but it is not in my field and not as important). My other mental block is that.. I really want to “fix” this prejudice problem and racial discrimination.. and the place I was thinking of doing it.. would be in the US. My problem comes that I am not even a US citizen. I’m a citizen of Canada and Taiwan, and to tell you the truth, I would feel a sense of disloyalty if i decide to study prejudice to better the US instead of doing something for MY countries.

And now here comes my current issue.. Over the past 2 months, I have been so severely affected by (and become so aware of) my TCK-ness, that i have completely lost interest in prejudice research.. and I know that I am going to change my mind and probably switch to doing a PhD in cultural psychology or something related. It had taken me 1 year to decide to switch from clinical to social.. And now that i’ve switched i want to change again! It drives me crazy because it is completely against my personality.. and ever since I decided to switch to social psych, i had been volunteering at a prejudice lab.. And now I don’t know what to do. I am applying for grad schools this fall, and i have NO time to develop ANYTHING for my resume that pertains to cultural psychology if i really do decide to pursue it. I know that if i stuck it out and did prejudice research, i would still like it, but now i feel so passionately about this multi-culturalism/cross-culturalism area that I just.. don’t want to do anything but this. Plus if i become a professor in this field, there would be so many more opportunities to travel and live in other countries.. and I’ve realized how important it is for me because I don’t think I can stay in one country for an extended period of time. I want to just move and live everywhere!
So.. to sum it up, here are my problems.

1) I hate changing my mind.. it’s really difficult for me and i am feeling significant cognitive dissonance at the moment. I feel like it is against my personality to keep changing my mind, but i can’t help it.

2) What should I do now that my resume is covered in experiences in almost EVERY field in psychology BUT cultural (i have research & community service experiences in clinical, social, and even exercise psychology..but not cultural)

3) I’m having a lot of difficulty finding research professors in this field because it is very new and not very developed yet. My family is very, very keen on very prestigious schools, and so far I haven’t been able to find any research professors in this field yet. maybe i am just not looking in the right department.

So i really don’t know what to do! I feel completely torn..

As i’ve said.. any opinions/comments/advice/thoughts would be really really appreciated, and thank you all for reading this long rant!

Popularity: 2% [?]

Posted by pepperthecat at 11:44 am on March 15th, 2009. Comments
Categories: General Forum, Research.

  • Charis
    It sounds like you know what your really want to do and you really feel passionate about cultural psychology. And it seems like your only problem is just that you're feeling guilty about investing so much time (and possibly money) in something else and now changing your mind?

    Twenty years from now when you're living abroad and loving your profession because you're a doctor in cultural psychology and you're living out your passion and you've got kids and they're loving being TCKs and you're the greatest global nomad parent cuz you were a TCK and you relate better to your kids than any other kids parents and you all enjoy moving around from place to place and everyone envies your great international life: 2 or 3 years of time lost studying the wrong stuff won't seem like much to have worried so much about.

    Follow your passion.
  • CC
    Hi, I haven't been active on this forum for some time but saw your post....

    I went through a very similar dilemma when I decided to give up the corporate life and go back to school to study something completely different. So just want to give my two cents here:

    First, I was always anxious that I didn't make the right choice, but then in fact, there're no "perfect" choice in life so don't you beat yourself up! Also, I met so many professors who have "crossed over". People, and specially those in the academic world, pursue their interests all their lives and interests change over time as you grow. Actually it's a GOOD thing that you want to switch because it means you're opening up yourself to new knowledge.

    Second point: it's a more "practical" advice. Talk to both professors and students about these professors and their research. The key is find out as many gossips as possible about these professors. Why? It's important to work with someone who has a consistent record of being both a great researcher and a great mentor to students. Sometimes resumes can be misleading. My friend got into a top program in her field in the US, only to find out that her prof was a jerk who never helped her out and was jealous of her possible achivements. Anything like that can happen. My point is, if you can't decide what you're interested in the "most", then take into account which professors you want to work with.

    Third point. You don't HAVE to have absolute relevant volunteer experience. This is a world operated by human beings so there're lots of ways to get around things. Just keep that in mind. Perhaps ask your current professors to give you a good recommendation, speak directly to the professor you want to work with, etc. etc. You can ask other professors in cultural psychology or social psych for titles of major books/articles and catch up on current theories. Then you can write something about what you learned on your application, or perhaps after you read them, you might decide you don't really like the subject.

    Fourth point. I actually did want to research on multi-cultural issues in the beginning, but now I completely switched to something else (another prejudice related issue) that I never thought of after finding the field wasn't quite exactly what I had thought. Studying about prejudice is quite different from being an advocate, not that they're completely unrelated. I see that you're the kind of person who take actions. I just have a feeling that you might want to really think twice about whether you want to spend years reading on prejudice theories, writing about them. I myself found that I personally didn't like multicultural research and found myself bored. (multicultural research focuses more about immigrant experiences, NOT about the experiences of living in more than two cultures.) Lots of other scholars are interested in the field though, so don't get me wrong. To get a "feel" for certain subjects, besides reading articles, attend local seminars or conferences in the field. Talk to people in the field.

    Anyway, enough comments. :) Good luck!
  • Pepperthecat
    ahh, i see what you mean. I agree. I definitely am looking outside the "psychology box" at different concentrations that may overlap with what i want to study.
    You are right about not becoming too over-specialized in a field. But sometimes i feel like that's what grad schools do, so i'm really worried that if i get into the field, and kind of change my mind, i wouldn't have any way of backing out..
    I know i know, haha, everyone tells me that it won't determine the rest of my life. But i think in such catastrophizing ways that it does in my head even though you and everyone else is right!! I wish it were easy to control these anxieties!

    Thanks for your input, i really appreciate it!
  • rafael
    With my comment on PhD research, I didn't mean to question the quality of the programs, but rather how for example, a person who began as an Physics student, could end up in Finance research. Or a Sociologist in IT, a Programmer in Law, etc... when I looked through it, it seemed to me I could choose whatever PhD research I liked, no matter what I studied.(I guess the only prerequisite is that you find a Professor that is willing to take you in, but these are all impressions).
    That is why I think you should talk to professionals - they know you "don't know anything" yet. Its not to get concrete answers, but rather an overall impression of how your area of expertise(psychology in your case) functions.
    As for me, in Materials Engineering, the overlapping of engineering fields gives me almost unlimited possibilities of areas to work in.

    What I meant to relate, is my experience when choosing what to study. I took a year long break before I began, and had already been looking for a clear solution for 2 years. I talked to a lot of professionals, university staff, people I thought were successfull, etc... and all they kept telling me, is to do whatever I liked best at the moment. If I made sure to be good and thurough at what I do and not lose contact to other disciplines(overspecialisation), I'd be successfull no matter what I chose. (If I'm good, I can always change to another discipline closer to my liking.)

    I guess what I'm suggesting, is that what you will study for the next 5 years will NOT DETERMINE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! ; )
    If this should be the case, I would choose a graduate study that either gives me a very tough methodological training that I can use later, or allows me to already work in applied research.

    But it may be different for psychology - so ask people who know, not me ^^... and don't worry about people telling you to prepare better and come back - those are grouches, and you will undoubtedly run into some of them; they are not to be minded : ) What matters is that you find those, who's helpful advice you CAN get. A starting point might be a good University's Student-Psychology/Pedagogics department. They usually offer good consulting to help you get started in making University-related choices.

    Last but not least - I wish you good luck!
  • Pepperthecat
    Thanks for your response, Rafael!
    Haha.. unfortunately, i don't think i ever developed the strength for ambiguity tolerance. Perhaps it is because i didn't actually move that much? I went to the same school first grade through twelfth grade. But i am also going to blame my dad for it, because he is worse than i am! I can tolerate cognitive dissonance in most other areas, but a few things that i am extremely serious about (eg, my career!), i cannot at all! Especially considering what i study for the next 5 years will determine the rest of my life.
    You are right though, i should really talk to some professionals in the area. I really want to figure things about before i go and talk to some professors though, because they will ask me very specific questions and if i don't know the answers to them yet, they'll tell me to think about it and get back to them!

    I am a little confused by "I've heard of cases of PhD research in areas that really get me questioning the qualifications of people doing them." Could you clarify that? Do you mean questionable grad school programs?
  • rafael
    I like your post, I'll also be confronted with this problem soon enough. : )

    I'm a bit worried though, about: "I hate changing my mind..." - isn't ambiguity tolerance supposed to be a TCK strength?
    My TCK life has made me interdisciplinary - and dealing with cognitive dissonance is what I'm best at! xD

    I'd suggest talking a lot to professionals from this area - and getting some honest opinions from them as to where choosing a particular speciality will lead you. Who knows? Maybe, as Cynthia explained with her example, you aren't limiting your possibilities by your choice at all. I've heard of cases of Ph.D. research in areas that really get me questioning the qualifications of the people doing them.
    If that should be your case, I'd choose the most challenging graduate school possible.
  • pepperthecat
    Thank you so much Cynthia, that was really excellent advice!!!
  • Cynthia
    First of all, don't feel bad about switching! It's natural to be interested in everything :) I was interested in a lot of subjects back in college but I manage to stick it out with engineering...hmm...

    Anyways, here are a bit of my thoughts on the subject and maybe it may help you. I am not in the field of psychology so it's not an "expert" advice so this is just views from an outsider.

    I think psychology is an extremely broad field with a lot of gray areas. I think there are a lot of major subjects that crossover to others. Medically speaking, I believe they like to refer to them in categories and say these things are somewhat related to each other but are really their individual category.

    But I think you are at an advantage. Because for one you have touched upon various fields in psychology and the fact that you are a TCK helps you also look into cultural psychology without really having academic experience. I am not exactly sure what the difference of each of the psychology fields you mentioned but isn't social psychology somewhat related to cultural in a way?

    Anyways I don't know what I'm talking about in terms of psychology but what I am trying to say is pick something closest to what you think you will get to research about (i.e. TCK) and maybe declare this as a special field of study or incorporate into the field. For example, you can choose clinical psychology and research about how TCKs lack of identity affects their mentality or social psychology and incorporate how TCKs interact with non-TCKs etc.

    I think there are a few people out there that area that are doing research about TCKs and maybe researching about these people can help you decide what kind of field of psychology you want to get into.

    Instead of limiting to just researching about TCK, maybe it might be more helpful if you incorporate TCK into existing psychological fields.

    Hope this helps! And good luck!
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