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Watch the video to check what I do when I’m lonely. lol
I’m just kidding. What are you doing for V-day? Leave a comment
below to share with the community!
(P.S: Are you looking for a date? Add me on Facebook if you want to meet TCK singles of any age. Most of my friends are TCKs. Maybe I can introduce you to someone?)
Are you single and looking for a relationship? According to our surveys, 70% of our members prefer dating TCKs. If you’re a member, check out TCKid Singles to find a date. You can search for singles in your city (of all ages and interests) in 10 minutes. Are you new?
What are your plans for V-day? I want to hear from you. Leave a comment below.
Originally published on December 29, 2007 @ 13:01.
This is a writing exercise w/ health benefits. Name 3 reasons Why being a TCK is challenging. (Very popular article with 162 comments)
Do you think being a Third Culture Kid is challenging? Some people seem to think so, but they haven’t been allowed to grieve for their hidden losses. “You lived a privileged lifestyle, what are you complaining about?” parents often remind them.
While there are many positive benefits to a cross cultural childhood, it’s important to acknowledge losses. According to research, when people are given the opportunity to write about emotional upheavals, they often experience improved health.
“Grief is healthy and has a purpose.” writes Tom Query, a counselor who has helped Third Culture Kids and over 1,000 victims from NYC from grief and trauma.
“But why write about negative emotions? Isn’t that a bad idea?”
Pennebaker, a professor in the Department of Psychology at The University of Texas at Austin is a pioneer in the study of using expressive writing as a route to healing. His research has shown that short-term focused writing can have a beneficial effect on everyone from those dealing with a terminal illness to victims of violent crime to college students facing first-year transitions.
“When people are given the opportunity to write about emotional upheavals, they often experience improved health,” Pennebaker says. “They go to the doctor less. They have changes in immune function. If they are first-year college students, their grades tend to go up. People will tell us months afterward that it’s been a very beneficial experience for them.”
What could you explore writing about?
Many Third Culture Kids have expressed having restlessness, a lack of identity, short-term relationships and unresolved grief. It’s not surprising to find out that some TCKs have had to deal with issues like depression, drugs, alcoholism, and self-injury.
-Do you feel like you don’t belong anywhere?
-Do you have short-term relationships and friendships (18 months to 2 years)?
-Do you have a lot of unresolved grief and sadness for breaking off relationships and friendships?
-Do you feel restless and unable to deal with it?
-Have you always felt you never got a say when your parents decided to move?
We have many hidden losses and unresolved grief. It’s time to write about them.
This post is about naming 3 reasons why being a TCK is challenging. Name your losses and allow yourself to write about your deepest feelings.
What did you lose? What are you really angry or sad about? What are your fears? Who hurt you and who did you hurt?
You can express yourself and post anonymously if you want.
The purpose of this post isn’t to neglect the positive benefits of growing up cross culturally, but it’s to help you put your post losses behind so you can use all the rich gifts this experience has to offer.
TCKID has released its first annual list of the top 10 cities in the world in which TCKs live, ranking them by popularity based on its membership of 21,458 Cross Cultural people. (This is not a poll or a survey. It’s the location of our members based on their I.P addresses as given to us by Facebook.)
The table below lists the largest 20 cities in the world based on population for the year of 2009 of people who identity themselves as “Cross Cultural” and/or “Third Culture”.
The most popular city is New York!
Top 10 Cities
1. New York 474
2. Bangkok 381
3. Singapore 306
4. Hong Kong 290
5. Washington 279
6. London 274
7. Sydney 259
8. Los Angeles 222
9. Makati 213
10. Jakarta 210
Other Cities
Toronto 210
Seoul 204
Dubai 202
Chicago 197
Kuala Lumpur 177
Seattle 166
Melbourne 163
Atlanta 157
Houston 157
Oslo 148
United States 8,549
United Kingdom 1,829
Canada 1,003
Australia 841
China 453
Thailand 387
Germany 348
France 342
Netherlands 313
Japan 311
Philippines 308
Hong Kong 302
Singapore 299
Indonesia 274
India 259
South Korea 221
Norway 218
Malaysia 215
United Arab Emirates 206
Switzerland 202
Where to meet TCKs?
Want to meet TCKs in your area? Join a local group and meet other TCKs from 50 locations.
Do you want to chat? Let’s come together get to know each other a little better. Listen & discuss the common challenges we face, share inspiring stories, make new friends and make a difference in our communities.
TCKID Chat is an open and free service sponsored by TCK Academy and run by volunteers.
WHO can join?: Anyone is welcome. It’s open to people of all ages, races, and backgrounds.
What People Say:
“When I lived in Texas, I struggled to fit in, no matter how hard I tried… then I actually met a TCK here in the TCKID chatroom. We exchanged emails, and eventually got on Skype … and now we’re best friends.
This community really changed my life, this is why I got involved to help. - Scott M.”
What to do next? Register to TCKID Chat
When is the next TCKID Chat? Enter your name and email to register on TCKID Chat. You’ll receive a notification of future chat events and more details on how to join. See you there!
Technical issues? Please e-mail manager@tckid.com
What happened last year? TCKID Live Global Chat 2009
1st: “What can we do to have a sense of belonging?” - Saturday 3rd January
2nd: “Depression, Career and how to make a difference.” – Sunday 4th January
3rd: “Obama’s Third Culture Team” with Ruth Van Reken. January 10th: 7:00pm Eastern/24:00 gmt
4th: Cross Cultural Relationships – Part 1
5th: Last TCKID chat 2009: “Cross Cultural Relationships – Part2: January 31st at 1-4PM Pacific Time
Do you remember when you discovered about TCKs? Just stop and think for a moment. How has your discovery helped you in your life? Discovering you’re not alone is a unique and special gift, which can affect your sense of connection with people.
A recent TCKID supporter said:
“Throughout the months, I had been crying pretty much every night from the overwhelming loneliness, disconnection, and inability to connect to reality. It was just indescribably overwhelming. Now that a few months have passed since that ‘fateful’ August night, I can really say that that severe loneliness is gone and hasn’t come back. It hasn’t come back.
The healing was for real. And it was permanent.
And I feel as though it’s been replaced by a solid courage to pursue heart-to-heart relationships with people…Well, I’m sure I’ll make many mistakes and blunders along the way, but that’s okay. And so when I re-read it …
I remembered how powerful the project is. And I wanted to be a part of the effort.”
You can read more of the story in the comments.
It’s time to uncover and celebrate this discovery today. Please leave a comment below. Written with kind advice from TCKID volunteer Daniel Suh, Miyon Kim and Paul Trigg
PPS: If you discovered you’re a TCK a long time ago and shared your story before, this is your opportunity to inspire someone new. Let everyone know what it meant to you.
“As London is such a melting pot of cultures we wanted to explore the idea of living in a family with a mix of cultural backgrounds and thought it would be great to speak to you on the show. There is a book out called The Map of Me – which has about ten or so authors who each tell their story of living in and out of different cultures. We’ll be talking to you about your background – how you started up the TCKID website – what the aim of it is and generally how a third generation kid is different – for good and bad.”
I was interviewed by the BBC to talk about third culture kids and TCKID. Someone recorded the interview and emailed it to me recently so it’s not exactly the best audio quality. The discussion was about cultural identity and it was mostly fixated on race, but it was an interesting conversation nonetheless.
It was my first radio interview, so I was a bit nervous and I forgot to give the definition of a third culture kid. Feel free to laugh at my expense. =)
Enjoy!
P.S: I’ve done my part to raise awareness. It’s your turn now. Share this interview with your friends.
BBC Host: We’re discussing identity tonight, how do you define yourself?
(susan’s call)
Host: Joining us also tonight is Brice Royer who is a third culture kid,
he’s part French, Vietnamese and he’s part Ethiopian. He lived in
3 continents, and in 7 countries before the age of 18 so he knows
all about the need to belong. He eats French food for breakfast
and Ethiopian food for lunch! Brice set up the website tckid.com
third culture kids, to help those struggling with their identity
and offer a place of belonging. He joins us on the line now from Canada.
Host: Hello Brice, thanks so much for joining us.
Brice: Hi Jumoke, it’s my pleasure to be here.
Host: Just explain to us, in terms of identity, which we’ve already been
discussing tonight – you’ve got French, Vietnamese and Ethiopian – how
do you define yourself?
Brice: Well, I think the labels that you talked about earlier were really
interesting because that’s a hot topic in the TCK community, and most
third culture kids dislike labels and don’t want to be pigeon-holed by
what they find to be superficial racial characteristics and in their
point of view… why should people choose one part of their
heritage over another? And.. I’ve seen Europeans speak Arabic, and Asians
ask questions in French, and how I define myself is — I love what
Susan said — but really how I identify myself is I’m a multiracial kid and
I belong to a cross cultural group.
Host: You’re a multiracial kid and I belong to a cross cultural group! You should
see the faces of my guests in the studio, they’re just grimacing, is this
a sort of a Canadian thing or do you think that’s the best way to define
yourself?
Brice: Well, I don’t say that to people.
Host: Oh right.
Brice: That’s how I define myself. There’s no way I’m going to say that to people – they’ll just raise their eyebrow and say “what? what is that?”
Host: (chuckle) Yes. But, but, I mean, the wider point, that this is part of
the reason that you set up this website, is to actually discuss these
whole issues, giving people a forum whereby they can discuss notions
of identity.
Brice: Yes, because what’s interesting is that we have a cross cultural
identity that we’re just beginning to explore as a community, and it’s
a large identity that holds all kinds of cross cultural experiences.
Third culture kids are really a growing prototype of a new identity
that can be difficult to define.
Host: Yes, you said that you obviously have your own definition of self – what
do you say to people when they ask you who you are or where you’re from?
Brice: I just say I’m from Ottawa, Canada. (laughter)
Host: (laughter)
Brice: I just make it simple, I don’t want to complicate their lives, I’ll just
say I’m from Ottawa, Canada. But it depends on the situation, really.
And for the box, I just choose “other”.
Host: Oh, you say “other” as well?
Brice: That’s right.
Host: You know, I’m gonna start doing this “other” thing because I fancy
doing other now. But do you lean towards one culture over another, Brice?
Brice: Not really. Not at all. I just feel, um, it’s difficult to choose
one culture over another, because if you choose one culture you’re kind
of denying the other culture and it’s difficult to do that… what TCKs
really hate is picking one side over the other. So… I can’t really
choose.
Host: I’m just curious..
Brice: We have a relationship to those cultures but no ownership of any.
Host: Right. I’m curious to know what they say on the website, is this a
continual struggle for other TCKs or are they actually quite happy to
say well I’m just an other and I’m happy with that.
Brice: They’re only unhappy if they’re among people who don’t actually acknowledge
their experiences and feel different, because one of the challenges that
TCKs have is belonging. I know a multiracial half Philippino half English
third culture kid who grew up in Saudi Arabia and lived in England, and she
was made fun of because she had no idea who the Spice Girls were.
Host: Right.
Brice: And you can miss out on pop culture trends and things like that which can
make it hard to relate to your peers..
Host: Yeah. Sure.
Brice: But when they find a sense of belonging, once they talk to other third
culture kids who grew up with similar experiences, they begin to really
explore their gifts and that’s really incredible, just having the sense
of belonging and talking to other people just like you.
If there was an international “Third Culture Kid Day”, how should we celebrate? A TCK Day provides a valuable opportunity to raise awareness of third culture kids around the world.
Share your ideas on this post.
TCKID is celebrating its first anniversary. It’s hard to believe our first year has gone by. We are still very young and growing, but we’ve achieved some incredible things this year. Let me congratulate all of those who have helped build this wonderful vision.
The New Design Voting Results:
Just a few days ago, you shared your feedback on the new TCKID. A large 92% majority voted to keep the design, but we will continue to change it and take your feedback into consideration. It will have warmer colors and a different layout.
Proof that people DO care about the TCK community!
11,638 views on that post.
187 emails
9 new volunteers.
Over 200+ votes.
This is encouraging and shows that TCKs do care. It’s great to see everyone getting involved in shaping the future of this community.
What’s Next:
You will build this initiative from the bottom up. Soon, you’ll be able to shape our mission, decide the slogan, and what the volunteers should work on.
This community is about you. Your ideas. Your needs. Your challenges and hopes. The future of TCKs and the cross cultural community is shaped by your values and the shared experiences that brings us together.
After you’ve shared your ideas, you will vote and decide when we should celebrate and what we will do. You’re invited to celebrate and reaffirm the values and commitment that brings us together. You can get to know other people just like you.
QUESTION:
1. How should we celebrate a “Third Culture Kid Day”?
2. When should we celebrate?
(Ideas suggested by TCKs. Apologies for the first 12 voters whose vote didn’t register, I had to upgrade the software but I will recount your votes.)
Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.
What we do on this celebration is up to you. Share your ideas on how we should all celebrate as a community and you will vote on what we should do.
Big changes are coming to TCKID.com, and you can help shape the future of the TCK community. Mark your calendar for the TCKID Re-launch on Monday December 8th, 2008. At the time of writing, there are 6 days left to share your ideas and shape the new design.
Starting this week, you’ll have more interactive opportunities, see a dramatic new design, and find new ways to get involved in shaping the future of TCKs. We’re also working on a social network for you.
This is your community. You’re here because you care about TCKs. You should be given the opportunity to decide what you want this community to look like. Change is coming, and you can be a part of it.
WEEK 1: Design the new TCKID. (Official RE-LAUNCH is on Monday December 8th, 2008)
WEEK 2: You decide how we should celebrate.
What is your opinion of the new design?
Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.
Get involved in building your Third Culture Kid community. Share your ideas to improve and shape the design.
Thanks to everyone for sharing your feedback! The response from the community has been very impressive. There has been 87 emails today, and they keep coming.
Many offered some great quote suggestions, and 6 new people offered to volunteer. I hope we can bring them on the team. You will all soon be able to share your ideas and decide on what they should work on.
Thanks again for being part of this change. It’s great to see everyone getting involved in shaping the future of this community.
Keep the feedback and ideas coming. If you want to get involved, volunteer to join the team.
I’ll post a follow-up soon!
-Brice
We’re going to take all of your feedback and update the design in the coming weeks.
I’ll make a list of the recent changes:
-World map added in the background
-Mosaic added
-World languages added
-Plane added. (will possibly be removed)
-Passport added. (will possibly be removed)
-Obama’s handsome face has been removed, and we’ll continue to change the theme from the Obama site. (If it was up to me, I would put his face everywhere of course because I’m a fanboy, but you design this site!)
We need your help to choose our TCKID’s new official quote.
Please share your ideas in the comments below. Keep your feedback and suggestions coming!
In Loving Memory of Norma McCaig who coined the term “Global Nomad”.
NEWS: Norma McCaig, founder of Global Nomads International (GNI) passed away on November 10th, 2008
From: Brice
I have some really sad news for the TCK community.
I’ve been contacted by Edward Kehring, the husband of Catherine Kehrig who was the Board Chairwoman from 1996 – 2001 of GLOBAL NOMADS INTERNATIONAL (GNI), who have taken it upon himself to relay some very sad news to me.
Norma McCaig, Founder of Global Nomads International (GNI), passed quietly away on Monday night November 10th, 2008 at her home in Reston, Virginia. She died of complications from cancer.
In 1984, Norma McCaig, herself a TCK, coined the term ‘global nomad.’, also known as “third culture kids”, and has tirelessly raised awareness of Third Culture Kids.
Norma writes: “Global nomads are very good mediators. Whenever TCKs move into another culture, they become very good, objective observers. They’re like cultural sponges. Those skills translate into ideal requirements for combating racism and advancing social and refugee work.”
Our stories is part of the larger TCK and global nomad story, and we all owe a debt to all of those who came before us.
Without them, the support and knowledge we TCKs have today would not have been possible. TCKID wouldn’t exist today.
Edward has informed me to let you know not to send flowers. If you wish to make a contribution, please make it to the Cancer Foundation in her name. Norma’s address for condolences is:
1559 SCANDIA CIR.
RESTON, VA 20190
—
I want to express my deepest condolence to her family and friends. We wish you all the strength you need now to go through this hard time.
Norma was incredibly helpful to us at TCKID when she helped with our very first fundraiser. There will be many moments we will all remember and cherish.
The global nomad and TCK community loses a very distinguished member, and we personally are losing someone we considered a friend.
Norma M. McCaig
McCAIG NORMA M. McCAIG Norma M. McCaig, of Reston, Virginia passed away at her home Monday evening, November 10, 2008. A memorial service was held 1:30 p.m. Sunday, November 16 at the Unitarian Universalist Church of Reston. In lieu of flowers the family requests that donations be made to Capital Hospice.org or to the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation.
—
November 16, 2008
A beautiful service was held for Norma today. Friends and colleagues spoke to the wonder Norma provided and the joy she shared with others. May her memory inspire us to continue to work for peace and justice in this world. Norma was a member of the yes we can club. Its numbers are growing and may good deeds follow.
I never thought this would happen. We have a biracial Third Culture Kid as the President of the U.S.
Regardless of your political affiliation, this is a historical change for the world.
But what does it personally mean for you and Third Culture Kids?
“Brice, I think it is HUGE for us all! I hope now this becomes one more part of “normalizing” our identity. thanks for what you do towards that same end… send him this story you just wrote us and let him know he should join our forum! – Ruth E. Van Reken”
Today, Obama is the President of the United States. As a teenager, though, Obama was a young man with a confused identity. He experimented with marijuana and cocaine. He faced the same challenges I hear every day from TCKs in emails.
As Obama writes in his memoir, “Dreams from My Father,” he felt alienated, struggling to understand his biracial identity, fearful of fulfilling a stereotype. “Junkie. Pothead. That’s where I’d been headed: the final, fatal role of the young would-be black man,” he writes.
But Obama eventually found his answer: A sense of community and belonging.
“I used drugs and alcohol to push questions of who I was out of my mind.” he writes.
“What I needed was a community, I realized, a community that cut deeper than the common despair that black friends and I shared when reading the latest crime statistics.” – Barack Obama.
Many of us can relate to Obama’s struggle for identity and sense of belonging. It’s been said that: “America is Ready for Change”. But I can’t help but wonder if his multiracial identity promote a culture of inclusion? Will this change the meaning of belonging?
Will a young TCK be able to tell their friends after repatriation: “I’m half Kenyan, and I grew up in Indonesia.” without feeling excluded?
And most importantly, how will you personally be affected by this change?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Brice
PS: If Obama didn’t win, I told my friends I’ll change my name to “Baraice Robama”. I’m glad he won.
Young Obama.
“I used drugs and alcohol to push questions of who I was out of my mind.”
“What I needed was a community, I realized, a community that cut deeper than the common despair that black friends and I shared when reading the latest crime statistics.” – Barack Obama.
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