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Calling/Future Path/Career.. whichever you call.. where to go?

haeseon

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haeseon

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I wonder how others try to find their way to the future. I mean what do others want to do in their lives?

Somehow I seem to have a problem defining what I want to do. And only when I thought that I found something that I want to do, it always clashes with the advice/opinion of others, social expectations and too many other aspects.

If the Korean society is calling me too old and incapable, what should I do? When they define me in a category where I don’t belong. How could I shout out to them louder enough to make my voice to be heard. 26 years old with experiences in diverse fieds is not very viewed with pleasure in Korea, especially for a recuiter. Ok maybe I am just complaining but I think in general it’s like that.  Engineering degree is good to have but it’s not realy valued if I am a woman not having M.S. Ah.. frustrating.

Alright, 26 years old, woman, B.S in electrical engineering, quite fluent in English. Alright.. what’s wrong?  I don’t see anything wrong with it. I see the whole future ahead of me. I mean I probably won’t suddenly want to be a doctor or rocket scientist but I think I can probably be able to get a job in trade business and work as an entry level. Am I asking really too much? I feel like drowning.. drowning because I feel like I am useless.

Friends do console me telling me that I have so many talents. I am articulate, fluent in English, have engineering background. Oh. yup. yup yup. and so what? Ok enough of this complaints.

I want to do something that I feel good about. I don’t expect myself working in pretigious name value companies such as Samsung, LG, SK.. or wherever. I want to work I feel like I am learning, growing and feeling a part of the family. Somewhere I am cared for who I am not because I am just a tool that they can use to get more profits. (Of course I don’t blame them for it’s every company’s reason to maximize their profits by hiring people) But at least, I feel proud of what I do, pasisonate about what I do not because others say so but because I am doing something for the society or people or at least for the family. This for something is very crucial aspect for me to find my calling/career or whatever you call.

Here comes my reason looking for a job in trade. My boyfriend owns a family business in textile business. He visits Chinese manufacturer s often and I have asked his mom for an advice where I could be a help on the business. My ideal job is definately somewhere a family and a job can be integrated. Somewhere, husband and a wife can work togather or at least have a common issues to talk about and grow togather. And in the future, kids can see their parents being not only married but bueinss partners.

Reality won’t change. Korean society wil not say “oh sure.. we understand you and change the trend of our society just for you”. And nor I do want to avoid the reality. I have thought of moving back to U.S where at least diversity can be understood, where at least I don’t need to be put into a single box tagged as general KOREAN-WOMAN-LOOKING FOR A JOB. But I won’t find peace in U.S nor Korea nor any other countries because it’s not a place that I should blame but to accept it and try to keep the background that I have and use it for the better.

So my question is How others deal with it? And how to find it.. My journey has begun along with some opening up my story.


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5 Responses to “Calling/Future Path/Career.. whichever you call.. where to go?”

  1. 1
    miyon
    miyon Says:

    haeseon, I see that you are frustrated and although I am younger than you I can relate with you and think of all the limitations and expectations the Korean society sets on women. t seem to find a concrete solution to finding a It seems like you have talents of great values you would like to utilize. As of now, I do not have a solution to your quest of finding a successful and satisfying career path where you are fully recognized and also finding a well-balanced family life (with your future husband). I am writing a note though because I would like to let you know that there is someone who understands you.

    (Is this spam?)

  2. 2
    Ayako
    Ayako Says:

    The sexist ageist thing is really quite annoying. It’s not illegal in Japan either to state things like: Hiring only women under the age of 30. And we are not talking about modeling jobs or applications to be a ‘campaign girl’ etc. These are for normal office jobs.

    Then they say that making tea and cleaning is part of your job. The men don’t have to do it by the way…ever. Even when they are the most junior positions in the company.

    When I asked why?

    “Because tea doesn’t taste good when men make it.”

    I think the gist of it was that women are only there to look pretty and make tea, and do the ’shit work’ for men and possibly be candidates for marriage for the young men in the company. That’s why they need to be young and well-educated. Your education is just so that it looks good on paper and on your arranged marriage portfolio.

    I don’t know about Korea but in Japan they have this thing called the ‘Christmas Cake Syndrome’. After the age of 25 (a pun on the 25th of Dec), your market value and desirability makes a sharp decline so it’s essential you get yourself ’sold off’ before you hit 26!

    That said hordes of women are ignoring it these days and choose to remain unmarried from what I’ve heard. lol

    And they’re complaining about low birthrates? ;)

    (Is this spam?)

  3. 3
    Brice
    Brice Says:

    I highly recommend you read this thread

    http://www.tckid.com/group/uncle-dans-blog-and-a-crisis-of-the-future/

    (Is this spam?)

  4. 4
    Unregistered
    Chi Says:

    Hi haeseon:

    I am the third culture person of Taiwan/US. I can feel your frustration. I return to Taiwan after I finished my long graduate program and OPT in the US in Dec 2006. I felt suddenly much older when i came back. Most of my old friends are married and started having children. They already start buying their properties while I have no saving, car and any other property to compare with them. It was not a very hard thing to get a job when i came back. I had some work experience before i moved to US. But it was still very difficult for me to work in Taiwan because I have been changed so much that I don’t feel fit into this culture anymore.

    Yes I speak fluent English but not as good as Americans. I lost my Chinese and I spent so much effor to get it back. So I was in the stage of not perfect in either Chinese or English. I feel not fit into any culture (either Chinese or American culture). But I have the same feeling that the diversity is more respected in the US. I am very westernized and I really don’t like the feeling of people watching me speaking English in the subway or bus.I am still thinking if I should return to US.

    But girl, I have a suggestion for your career. Starting a new career or business that is not common in society you are in. Use your uniquness to create a new path for your career. In this case, you don’t need to compete with the younger people in Korean society. This is what I am doing. I met my boss who started a brand new market in Taiwan after he finished his 7 years of US study and career. I feel I am so unique that if i go to get a job that in old market will be a waste. So I followed my boss to open this brand new market in Taiwan. Eventhough being a pioneer is not an easy thing, I feel good about the difference we make in this society as we feel particulariy lonely in this market. But we know we are really professional and good. And people respect our integrity and good work quality. We know we are changing Taiwan as we fighting with some bad parts of this culture.

    I just want to encourage you to open your way. Start a business or a new market. Use your uniquenss to be your strength. Good Luck!!

    Chi

    (Is this spam?)

  5. 5
    Cynthia
    Cynthia Says:

    Hello Haeseon,

    First of all, welcome to TCKid.com :)

    Secondly, as a female engineer currently working in Shanghai here are some things that I have experienced and maybe it’ll help you.

    I did OPT for a year in the US and was planning on getting my work visa but that didn’t work so got shipped back to Shanghai (still working for my currently US employer but in their Shanghai branch) and have been here for 2 years.

    Now, I totally know what you mean about ageism and discrimination in Asia. My dad who is not even close to retirement age is having a difficult time finding a good job in Asia due to his age (he hates his current one). I can tell you that my dad has awesome work experiences having spent much time in Southeast Asia and China but I do not understand why companies think he is too old. He’s got the experience! No one young person can have experience like his. But it’s just sad to see this falling upon him. I find that Western companies care more about experience than age (especially in the US where discrimination is against the law). I’ve heard people who can still find good jobs even when they’re 60 and my boss is 72 (in Asian companies he’d have been replaced with a younger guy and they wouldn’t even blink an eye).

    Anyways back to subject LOL I have to say I do not like working in the engineering field that much. I do enjoy learning about it but I realized I don’t like working with it and I am planning on switching industries. I am 25 and I feel that there are a lot of opportunities out there and 25 isn’t too old to do anything. I am not the kind of person that will work in the same job for 30 years unless it is something I am really interested in and something that will give me a lot of room for change.

    I think I am set on returning to the US because 1) people tend to be more “open” about who they employ and 2) there are a lot of opportunities for doing different things. And besides I am too Westernized for the Asian culture anyways.

    Hope this helps!

    (Is this spam?)

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