About: MajorTom

Name:MajorTom
2008-07-18 05:03:37
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Posts by MajorTom:

The Tome of Tom - The London Game

 So about a week and a half ago, the NFL held a regular season game at London’s Wembley Stadium. It’s the second year in a row they’ve done this, and they’ve sold the whole place out in minutes both times. Outside of bumbling sportscasters’ bad “TUT TUT CHEERIO” jokes, it was pretty much a huge success. I think it’s awesome that the NFL’s trying to branch out to international fans and non/fans alike. However, I was talking to a few friends about it, and they thought it was a stupid idea. Why, you ask?

Friend: “Football’s an American sport, they shouldn’t bother taking it overseas.”

Me: ……..

I mean, seriously. Should sports be tied to national identity? I. I remember when I lived in Perth, I went to pro baseball games (Go Heat) and pro basketball games (You my boys, Wildcats). Both of these are games that originated from America, and yet are played all over the world and have pro players from all over the world. Yet for some reason, football’s some sacred cow that the rest of the world doesn’t deserve? Dumb dumb dumb.

November 4, 2008 | Filed Under Blog, General Forum | 2 Comments 

The Tome of Tom - Aussie Lingo Out of Nowhere!

So I was walking back from a pizza place downtown with a friend on Friday night. It was pouring rain, but we were a bit drunk, and didn’t really care. It was raining hard enough for water to come pouring out of the storm drains. I told my friend that it looked like a bubber. Suddenly, a very confused look came across his face.

“The hell is a bubbler?”

Oh dammit to hell. I had accidentally slipped back into Aussie-lingo. When I moved here nine years ago, I still used words that made perfect sense in Australia, maybe something like jumper, but would confuse the hell out of my classmates. It was pretty embarrassing to sound like a weirdo in front of everybody, so I did my damnedest to keep myself from using ‘em in front of people.

I guess after a while, they sort of dropped out my vocabulary, but they still pop up from time to time. Usually it’s pretty random (I said esky a few times when I threw a cookout a few weekends ago), but I use ‘em with more frequency whenever I’m boozed up. Guess it’s easier to use words like bubbler when I’m less inhibited.

If I can orchestrate the trip back to Australia next year like I’m hoping to, maybe all this stuff’ll all come flooding back, which would be kind of awesome.

Oh, and for those that don’t know, a bubbler’s a drinking fountain.

September 8, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | 10 Comments 

Awesome and Not-So-Awesome Animals From Places You Used to Live

I was chatting with my folks a few days ago about our old house in Brisbane, and the silly stuff I used to do there, like dress up in a Batman costume and run through the mall, ah those were the days.

Anyway, my dad reminded me about the two kookaburras that would chill on our porch every evening for a good month one christmas break. Being the impressionable young’un that I was, I called them B-1 and B-2. We’d give them raw meat and they kept comin’ back every day at the same time for more. I remember being pretty disappointed when they stopped coming, but that didn’t stop them from being awesome.

Remembering those two inspired me to make a list of a few of the animals in Oz that gave me fond (and not so fond) memories growing up.

Kookaburras:

As stated above, these dudes are totally awesome.

Koalas:

Look this little guy in the eyes and tell me that you don’t melt. Just, for the love of god, don’t call them koala bears.

Platypuses (Platypi?)

Why they exist, I have no idea. I hope it’s to make me laugh, because if it is, they’re doing their job magnificently.

Aaaaand now for those animals that scared the bejeezus out of me when I was a kid.

ANY AND ALL SPIDERS:

I’m not giving you guys a picture of one of these dudes, because I’ve made the mistake of searching for spiders in google images, and I don’t want anymore gray hairs.

Box Jellyfish:

Great White Sharks:

I can’t remember if I told this story on here or not, so I’ll tell it anyway. When I was 4 or 5, my parents and I went to Noosa and stayed at a beach house. While we were there, my folks thought it’d be a GREAT idea to watch “Jaws”. Overlooking the water. At night. NIGHTMARES FOR WEEKS.

See if you guys can think of any other neat or lame-o animals.

August 21, 2008 | Filed Under General Forum | 7 Comments 

The Tome of Tom #1 - My standoff with a skunk or “OH GOD PLEASE DON’T SPRAY ME”

So I’m walking back to my house after going downtown to grab some coffee earlier on this afternoon. Since the front door to my house is a bit wonky, it’s usually much easier to just go through the backyard and through the basement to get inside. After wandering down the stone stairs to get to the backyard, when I notice something is off. Standing about four feet from me is a ginormous skunk.

Crap

At this point I’d frozen, and was hoping that it had T-Rex vision (If you don’t move it can’t see you!). Unfortunately, the ugly sucker was staring RIGHT at me, and it seemed to be planning its next move. I just stood there for about 30 seconds, hoping to god it wasn’t quick enough to douse me in its stinky goop. Seeing no other way out of this predicament, I started to slooooowly move back towards the stairs. The skunk was still staring right at me, and I was convinced it was either incredibly stupid or an evil genius as it hadn’t so much as moved since it saw me. It was at this point that it started to move towards me.

Believe me when I say that you will never see another person in sandals running as fast as I was when that thing started walking towards me. I was fucking booking it. Thankfully, one of the side doors on the other side of my house was open, and I made it inside unscathed. Almost, anyway. I spilled my damned coffee when I was sprinting. Unfortunately, I don’t think I can get stinky wildlife to reimburse my $3.

I think it’s high time I invest in some skunk repellent. If it actually exists.

August 10, 2008 | Filed Under Blog | 5 Comments 

Google Streetview Australia

So Google apparently got this up and running a few days ago, and it’s kinda neat for old fogies like me to check stuff out that I haven’t seen in almost a decade.

For example, my old house

It also has a second purpose, which is to find whatever weird stuff Australia happens to have.

Like a gargantuan banana.

And a g-g-g-GHOOOOST car.

See what else you can find!

August 6, 2008 | Filed Under General Forum | 10 Comments 

Good flicks for TCKs

I was reading Isa’s thread on Prince Caspian yesterday, and that got me thinking about what other kinda movies TCKs would probably enjoy. After a quick glance at my DVD shelf, and the syllabus for a class from last semester on film and immigration, I came up with this very short list.

 The Namesake

http://youtube.com/watch?v=_sOaA-4Y8tI

I went into this movie expecting to hate it so much it hurt, but I was actually pleasantly surprised. Kal “I was in Superman Returns for 20 seconds” Penn put in an unexpectedly solid performance, and his confusion over his racial identity is especially poignant.

The Incredibles

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Q7Mf6NaB9ok

Might not come to your mind immediately when you think of TCKs, but hear me out. Family moving all the time? Desperately trying to fit in when they know they don’t quite fit? Giant robots? All hallmarks of TCKdom.

Die Hard

http://youtube.com/watch?v=fFRSruZyWGc

Because it’s awesome

Hellboy (1 or 2)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Ob9J3kCELXE

Ok, so it might not be the most subtle of examples, but these movies are still a lot of fun. Poor ol’ HB can’t quite fit in with humanity, being giant, red and scary, and can’t fit in with the other demons/munsters because he’s not (as big of) an asshole.

Anyhoo, see if y’all can think of any others.

July 27, 2008 | Filed Under General Forum | 12 Comments 

You know that guy that you always see in the video store?

The one milling about and can’t quite figure out what to get? That’s me.

Anyway, if you haven’t already guessed, my name’s Tom. I’m 21 years old, lover of most booze (beer more so than anything else. To hell with wine), and have been pretty much stuck in Central PA for the better part of a decade. I’m a Media Studies major at Penn State, and it’s looking more and more like I’ll end up at law school after I’m done here.

How did I end up being a TCK, you ask? Welp, I’m an oil brat, so that’s pretty much a guarantee to move at least three times during your childhood. I was born in Aberdeen, Scotland, and lived there for maybe four months (details are kinda hazy, should probably ask my folks about that…). Can’t say I really remember a whole heck of a lot from there, being a baby and all that, although I imagine it was FREEZING, seeing as I was born in Janurary. After that, we moved south to London, where we apparently lived somewhat close to Pinewood Studios, where they filmed the ‘89 Batman movie (and almost all of the Bond movies, apparently). Seeing the Batmobile come driving down the street as a three year old is just one of those memories you tend to carry with you. Actually, this could explain my current movie habit. Moving on…

In ‘91, we moved much further south to good ol’ Brisbane, Australia. Here I gained a distinct fear of bugs (nothing quite as pants-shittingly terrifying as going to get your backpack and finding a bunch of redbacks on it) and sharks (Future parents: never show your children JAWS when you’re at a beach-house overlooking the water. *shudder*), and a love for boogie-boarding. Screw surfing, everybody knows boogie-boarding is where it’s at. This was also my first experience with ridiculous heat. For those of you that don’t know, it gets fucking HOT in Australia, and very rarely gets cool.

Fast forward five years later, and I’m on the other side of the continent, in Perth. It is inexplicably hotter than Brisbane.  Lucky for Perth, it had some seriously kickass beaches (tied with Noosa, in Queensland, for the best). This is also the place where I gained my impressive array of curse-words for a 10 year old.

Anyway, fast forward to 1999, and my parents (who are both American, born and raised) think it’s high time we go back to America, where I’d been for vacation but never lived. Words cannot really describe the suckitude of this move. Suffice to say, going from 100+ degree heat to the middle of Pennsylvania winter was a lovely introduction to the good ol’ US of A. Also getting mono two weeks after starting school here helped out immensely (I didn’t even get it the fun way!) At first, I found myself getting pissed off at the stupidest things, like “Why the hell can’t Outback get an actual Australian actor to do the voiceovers for their commercials? Is it all THAT hard?” I got over it eventually. It also took me way too goddamned long to get the whole mannerisms of Americans down (I had no idea how in the fuck to play American Football for two years), but I think I’ve gotten the hang of it.

Alright, in reference to the title of the little ditty, I’m something of a movie buff/addict/junkie. When I got my wisdom teeth out about 6 years ago, my dad rented out Aliens, Terminator 2, and Pulp Fiction for me, none of which I had ever seen. After watching all that, I looked on their IMDB pages for what else they’ve done, and it’s kinda just grown exponentially since then. You just might catch a review of something on here from time to time in the near future. Right now I’m mulling over whether Wall-E or The Dark Knight is the best movie of the year so far, but it’s too damned hard to figure out right now.

As for being a TCK, I guess I’m one of the weird ones for pretty much feeling like I was an American for pretty much my whole time overseas. Of course, the moment I move to the states, it was all “HAW HAW YOU AUSSIE, EVER COOK SHRIMP ON THE BAHBEE WITH THE CROCODILE HUNTER?”

What I’m trying to say is screw middle-school.

Anyhoo, I’ve written way too damned much.

July 19, 2008 | Filed Under Introduction | 12 Comments