About: lauren

Name:lauren
2008-01-29 04:04:45
http://
Profile

Posts by lauren:

How to tell your Non-TCK friends that you’re moving and won’t see them again?

Hey guys,

Have you ever made good friends with a non TCK? Of course you all have, but how do you go about handling telling them that you are moving and well don’t know when you will see them again?

I am currently in the university in Ohio but am moving to study in Italy for a while and my best friend at school in Wisconsin doesn’t know how to handle me leaving. I haven’t seen him since december and I have a feeling the next time I will see him will be next december, if then.

But anyway… I told him last night over the phone and he was kind of a mess and begging me to stay but I can’t really pass up this opportunity.

Last summer we traveled around Europe and stayed with my friends I and family I have there and he got a really good glimpse of how mobile my like has been, I think. I showed him old houses and places that I used to hang out and it was amazing because for the first time I was able to share my growing up with someone other than my brother. Any way I figured that would make him more able to understand why moving is not such a huge thing, but apparently it didn’t…

July 20, 2008 | Filed Under General Forum | 3 Comments 

The Tenacity of a TCK mother….

A little sweet story about my mother: I am currently in Itlay and have rediscovered language barriers. Now that I am much older,19 vs 6, than when I began my TCK journey, the learning of languages seems a bit more foreboding. I emailed my mutti about how inhibited I am not knowing very much Italian and how brave she was to follow my papa around places, not knowing the languages etc. I mean I have lived in several places and am already Bilingual, but she was already 35 when she began going along with my dads moving frenzi and had grown up in the same state her whole life. Moving as an adult seems much more difficult. This response she wrote to me gave me goose pimples. Not only is it sweet but It showed a side of her I had never seen. It is not very eloquantly phrased but still very touching (for me at least, maybe just because she is my mum)

Dear Lauren,

I was thinking about when we first moved to Poing and how intimidating it all was to me. I guess I just forged through and tried my best. There were many many times I cried and was so lonesome for home but God always placed a person in my path that would help me to adjust just a bit more each day. My favorite was when you had just started school before the Christmas break and Alex and I ran into an older woman at the grocery store I think. She asked me if I was American and then she started talking to me in English. She must have been in her late 60’s or early 70’s. She took me home in her car and then got my phone number. She had me over to her apartment one day for coffee and cake and then took me around to show me where things were in Poing. She was a widow and lived in old Poing. I always called her my Poing Angel…I never saw her again. I looked for her but never found her. I learned a lot there. Of course you will too. One of the things I reminded myself of was that the women in Germany weren’t much different that mothers in America. when I saw them doing laundry or shopping or playing with their kids, I always remember that I thought how much alike we all were; just with different languages. I miss those days….I miss having to walk you both to school and kindergarten and I miss learning all the new words and culture.

(Love Mom)

This just made me open my eyes a bit more to see that moving was hard for my brother and I, but also so much for my mom, especially because my father was at work all the time.

Does any one else have any stories to share like this?

June 13, 2008 | Filed Under Blog, General Forum, Stories | 5 Comments 

How to ask for things in Italian

Hi guys…Well I am in Italy right now and today I had my first food shopping experience and when I tried to order 100 grams of cheese the man behind the counter looked at me like I was crazy. I think I said something along the lines ‘un etto formagio etc…. Does anyone know how to order meat or cheese at the metzger? I am having a bit of trouble…but I have been carrying my dictionary and it kinda helps.Is there anything about living hear I should know?Hope anyone has tips . thanksCiao Tutti a Grazié.  

June 9, 2008 | Filed Under General Forum | 1 Comment 

Parent in denial? What on earth to do?

I think that my parents, especially my father, are in denilal. We moved due to my dads work, but I think he keept uprooting us because he to is a TCK and is allways looking to be some where else. It is almost as if he is running away from things.

I know he has so many unresolved griefs that he just does not no when and where to begin acknowlaging them . I think that my moving was almost a reslut of his runnng away, or inability to be satisfied.

He does not understand the TCK thing and although I have cassualy brought it up to him, he never really wants to talk about it. How on earth should I approach him without sounding pretentious? I just want the best for him. Discovering why I am the way I am through the book and this site has made really opened a new chapter in my life. It has been rocky at times and anazing at others. I really want my father to come to terms  with his grief etc. I mean even though we have lived  in Oregon for 4 years now he spends at least 5 months every year in Asia, or Israel. mmmmm… any throughts?
thanks
Peace Lauren

May 1, 2008 | Filed Under General Forum | 5 Comments 

New furniture

There is something strange about new furniture. Placing it in a room with matching walls and carpet seems to solidifying. For some people new furniture may provide security or happiness but not for me and my brother. Rather we see it as a  trap or lock.   My parents informed me over the phone today that they have bought a dining room table and are putting in new carpet. Why I ask. We have never had a dining room table, why now?  My mum responds by saying that the room was empty, she wanted to have matching set, it fits the house so well.Uh Oh, this sounded permanent. For as long as I can remember we have not had a dinging room table. We always just left that room slightly empty, with boxes and stuff. But A solid table? never. I have this weird feeling that they are settling…. strange concept. Sounds a bit like blue tack, once on the wall once it leaves a permanent little blue mark and no matter what you do the colour wont come off.Once you begin settling there is no going back is there? mmm…any one else have strange settling stories? Or ways to avoid the blue tack trap? lol 

April 26, 2008 | Filed Under Blog, General Forum | 6 Comments 

Do you ever want to just ….. when you meet people?

Hi all.Wow, this is a little random , but when you meet people for the first time to ever want to just tell them upfront about your multi cultural up bringing without awkwardly having to phrase things to avoid sounding ’stuck up’ or only half answering questions on purpose. This may have been addressed on the site before but I couldn’t find it.Any way, This year I have meet so many new people, but none of them really know me because I don’t want to come off the wrong way by saying to much. It is so frustrating sometimes.  After I meet some one or are friends with them a while there are still seem to be a number of important details that they don’t know because I never told them. This lack of connection then  puts a strange invisible limit or superficiality on the friendship which never seems to go away. Sometimes I just wish I could spit it all out right away without having to play the “what is appropriate to tell them” game.mmm.. Am I weird or do other people feel this way too?  

March 26, 2008 | Filed Under General Forum | 13 Comments 

Hallo! New bee with a question. CCK or TCK? or both?

Hi, I am new on this website and am so glad I found it. I cant seem to stop reading all the posts. I am trying to figure out if I am a CCK or a TCK or a mixture of both.My father is German/russian, and my mum is from new mexico. I was born in NM and my brother was born in Heidelburg, Germany. I have moved 6 times back and forth between different cities in Germany, England and most recently the US. When I moved to Germany the second time from NM I was 6 and although spoke no german was put in a german Grundschulle ahh… it was brutal. I came home crying every day, but the reward was I learned German really quickly. After 3 1/2 years in a rural german village, my family moved to the UK where I also attended a public school and felt really happy. Shortly after settling in, 20 months later, we moved back to a new city in Germany where I finally was able to go to an International school. The pattern continued that way until 3 years ago when I moved back to the US (what a horrid culture shock!) I know my moves have been relatively simple, geographically speaking, but packing every couple of years has its toll. I don’t really feel like I fully belong to any of the places I have lived. I missed out on any type of American Childhood, but never fit into the German way of things and was always the strange foreigner in the UK. Because I have a German and American passports and family in both nations, why don’t feel at truly home in either nation? I am 18, and just began studying classical at University but it has only been 7 months since I began and can hardly wait to study abroad.  Where to…I have no idea…just some where different. Any way my question is, am I simply a cross culture kid or a third culture kid? What are the differences? Sorry for the long, intro, but I have been questioning this for a long time and just recently even found out that there were names for nomads like me!! ;-)Thanks guys….. 

February 2, 2008 | Filed Under General Forum | 4 Comments