So after floating around the edges of this site for a month or two, I decided it was finally time to introduce myself. Hi, my name is Esther, and I’m a TCK. (I guess that’s my ‘coming out’)

Actually, I’m not just a TCK, I’m a mum to a couple of up-and-coming TCKs too.. and so often I just hope I’m doing the right thing! Anyway, I guess I’ll come back to that later.

So me – well, I was born in Papua New Guinea to a New Zealand Mum and Australian Dad and lived there until I was six, although in a couple of different places and with extended visits back to Aus or NZ.

We left PNG when I was six, and lived for a while in various places in Australia. My parents finally decided to move back to Mum’s home town in NZ when I was eight, mostly because my school reports had suddenly changed from “outgoing and makes friends easily” to “quiet and reserved”. I love that my parents were smart enough to notice and caring enough to do something about it!

We lived in this town for six years, the first place I’d been anywhere for more than two years. I didn’t realize, being a kid and completely absorbed in my own cultural adjustment, that the reentry was much harder on my parents than they ever expected. Eventually, at 14 we moved cities. I was over the moon, and completely upset and terrified at the same time. My ‘itchy feet’ syndrome was being satisfied, but I was again being forced to uproot what life I had forged for myself. This was the hardest move for me, even though there was really no cultural adjustment needed (although small town to big city is kind of a cultural change on its own). It was in this time that I started the process of figuring out ‘who I was’ – still going on, of course.. I had some big issues with my parents (which I’m happy to say is all sorted now), which mostly stemmed from their lack of understanding of what was going on for me. Eventually, I really did make this place ‘home’, even somehow finding a perfect (but completely monocultural) husband along the way (don’t ask me how).

I have proven to be a bad influence on him though – after years of me shifting the furniture in the house to make it feel different, we finally moved and are now bringing our 2 ½ and 4 year old kids up in Turkey (which is constantly a battle of conscience for me). We’ve been here nearly 18 months now, and I for one am loving the challenge (hubby finding things a little more difficult).

While growing up cross-culturally definitely had its challenges, which I have been (and still am) working through, like many of you, it also had some real positives which I would love to pass on to my kids. I think (generally speaking, of course) TCKs have a real appreciation for the value of culture and languages. They cope better with people who are different – not just culturally, but they also champion the underdog, or the kid in their class with a disability. Another thing – TCKs often have a different set of values, that usually don’t include being just like everyone else. I was never about to be peer pressured to do anything I didn’t want to do. These, and others are reasons I want my kids to be TCKs. Yes, there are emotional issues they will have to deal with, and while I may be able to minimize these, having been through them myself, I know I I can’t protect them completely from those. However, if my kids grow up with the strength, compassion and faith that I have seen in so many other TCKs, I will finally decide I have made the right decision. Until then, the jury’s still out…

Wow, that was really tough to write – sorry for going on a little too much but how to squeeze myself into one post?? Anyway, here I am, nice to meet you all! I’d love to hear from anyone also trying to raise the best possibly adjusted TCKs (and if you think it’s at all possible)…

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