How do you all deal with the issue of divided loyalties to different countries? For example, when I watch the Olympics on TV, I am just happy for whoever won because that person did well -it does not matter to me which country he or she came from…and I feel don’t really feel that proud when I hear the national anthem of the country I grew up in or my passport country – it is sort of neutral…

Right now I live in my passport country in an area where there are a lot of very conservative people who are very nationalistic and patriotic. I don’t open my mouth much when they talk about national politics because I have a very different opinion…And in this area, people who support the government are very strong and state their opinions very passionately – so I just don’t say much. But inside I feel very uncomfortable. So, the result is that I don’t get very close to these people – at least this part of me I don’t share.

I know some countries you can have dual citizenship, but with the country I grew up in and my passport country, you can’t. And I have lived in my passport country for many years now, but my feelings about my two countries and cultures have really not changed very much over the years.

What experiences have you guys had with this sort of thing?

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I just wanted to know… How should I put this?
Does anyone feel like this or has anyone had this happen?

Out of the blue I just had this thought come into my head: I want to go home.

***That sounds really TCK and not unusual but here’s why it feels strange:***

I hadn’t really thought that in a while, and it (the thought, the words) felt like someone else’s thought, I don’t know if I even understand that thought now/anymore, but it was late at night and I was in bed and I just started crying and I couldn’t stop.
I don’t/didn’t even feel 100% emotionally sound right now as I type this.

For a while now I’ve been like this: I don’t know where “home” is anymore and I think I’ve sort of given up on finding it, I’m lost and feel displaced and I don’t think “home” exists anywhere except maybe with (certain) people and inside one’s head (and maybe one’s heart); maybe I’ll find a place someday and/or maybe I’ll find the people — or maybe I’ve already found the people (maybe here) — and maybe I’ll make somewhere home (iunno).

But “will I find home?” is not my question.
Why didn’t the thought feel like it was mine?

And if I’ve really given up on it, why did I think that?

Why did it revisit and wrack me so like that (a few days ago)
and affect me still now (when I started this post)?

It feels like… iunno, maybe it felt a little like it was from a younger me or a locked away me or… something.
Maybe I just really feel lonely (and detached) or maybe it’s something else but has anyone had that thought come into their head but not feel like it was their own yet still be affected by it maybe to the point of crying?

Maybe detachedness just always feels strange to me and probably would to most others / everyone in most circumstances,
but have you ever felt detached about… well, this?

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I know my problem may be a little difficult to understand for some of you because in most countries freedom of religion is guaranteed.
My country does not guarantee freedom of religion. It is stated in the constitution and all that and that everyone has the same religion.
When I meet people from my country, I feel a connection on all levels, even though I’m a TCK. Except when it comes to religion. Whether I claim to believe in the religion or not I always get people trying to tell me what I should do and how I should practice religion. Actually, since I don’t believe in any religion, in my country it’s even worse than being say, being gay (I’m straight) or from any other “disliked” minorities. So this pushed me to take a distance from my fellow countrymen and hang out with people from other cultures and religions. I regret it in a way because I feel a better connection with people from my country, except regarding religion.
Has anyone experienced this (not just with religion but with culture in general). Hope I’m not the only one…

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I can’t stand this anymore.

13 months have passed since my repatriation…

I can’t sleep, can’t eat anything…. hasn’t kept a single friendship for really. (MADE quite a few, but all broken clearly)

B4 the repatriation, when I was in my last country (Across the Atlantic Ocean…) I sleep well always, eat well always.

I was way more good tempered when I was in my last country. Now, these 13 month… I am allergic to ishness of my parents’ country…

I never cursed b4, but now I do, everyday, if not out loud, then in my head.

I simply don’t like it here. Not tt those things tt I can’t stand now would “solve itself” by TIME.

NO.

SO… my plan is this (Obviously I haven’t talked to my parents yet since I wanna share it with ppl tt know it better….)

I wanna go to UK (try really hard to apply to an U)
Or maybe some other European country or even Canada?
(I prefer UK and Europe)

ANYWAYS!!!

The WEST!!!!!

I need to be in the WEST again!!!

I really hope that would help me!

Would I regret?

What for?

If my parents do agree?

And I just go?

Would I then be homesick, AGAIN, but just homesick of my parents’ country but not the west then???

Would I feel homesick and “home” being my parents’ country, THIS COUNTRY I am now in?!?!?!

WOULD I?!

I am SUCH an H.I. here!!!!! (* Hidden Immigrant)

WOuld I THEN feel “homesick” if I LEAVE here?)

Would it be as bad as I feel homesick of the Western world?

Should I start looking for info (school application) and THEN talk to my parents?

Or should I, just…. Oh Gosh……. STAY?

Finish my U here… although I so don’t fit in in school?

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I don’t know if “it” is really a TCK thing… I don’t even know how well I “fit in” As a TCK to begin with — technically, yes, I think, in accordance to the definition; certain characteristics, yes, maybe, (perhaps many) others, no — but that isn’t the “it” and I don’t want to bring up a check list to show how well or not I “fit in the box” …(erm, back on “point”, sorry if the case in point isn’t really TCK related, I’m not sure) and I don’t even want to detail the problem or talk about it partly because I don’t know How to detail it or break it down or sum it up anymore and partly because I don’t want to talk about it… to anyone other than the people/person involved, and a big part of the problem is that I can’t seem to get them to understand and I’m just… I feel worn out and defeated — just, spent.

The Reason I am typing this post — if it’s okay that I am, and I’m sorry I’m not giving you much to go on — is that I think I could use a hug.
…and I’m not really a “huggy” person.
I feel kind of odd asking, getting, and giving hugs to people depending on who they are, how close I am or feel to them, and what circumstance it is in.

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Hi everyone^^
Hot summer days have started for many of us and mild winter days for some of us.
I’m doing research and wanted to explore the languages TCKs use.
My questions are the following:
Do you use more than 1 language on a regular basis?
Do you consider your language to be standard/close to the standard language of your native language?
Do you always mix languages when you speak with bilingual friends?

Did the local language of the country you lived in influence the language you speak everyday?

Do you speak a language with friends/classmates/locals… that is sort of a “made up language” (usually mixing English/your native language with the local language because there was no other way you could communicate?

If you’re to shy to discuss your wonderful experience with languages in this forum, you can send an email:
lily_hamoussaoui [at] hotmail [dot] com

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Tired of saying I’m not ur typical Taiwanese

Tired of saying I’m not Taiwanese (at all ok?)

Tired of saying it depends

Tired of…. tired of being serious

I find this humorous but true:

I am a part-time Taiwanese,

A full-time TCK.

How about u guys?

What do u guys think???

Do u like the “part-time” expression?

Do u feel the same way as me???

Please reply!!

(PS I am one whenever it’s convenient =P

This part-time schedule is so free.

And I hope I don’t get tied up by it!!!)

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I don’t mean to spoil the mood here, but are non-TCKs really that different than we are?
First let me address a few of the differences TCKs claim to have:

1) We are more culturally aware

I’ve met many non-TCKs who know as much about the world as we do. They study languages, travel, meet people from different cultures. I’ve also met a lot of TCKs who despite being abroad not only despise local culture, constantly claiming their passport culture is better, but also make no effort to learn about the local culture.

2)We suffer from being separated from friends

I’ve met a lot of non TCKs who moved from one area to another in the same city, 4,5,6 times in their lives changes schools every time (that applies especially to large cities). They have to adapt to new environments, make new friends…At some point in their life, people all move, they go from Elementary to Jr high, to senior high, to college to grad school to work, often leaving tons of friends behind.

Yes we may think that at least they don’t have to adapt to a new culture and environment, but correct me if I’m wrong, international schools use English as the language, and American products are the norm.

3) We suffer a culture shock when we go to college

Yes we are very spoiled, we all belong to upper class societies abroad, and then we have to deal with roommates in college. But how much culture do international schools borrow from local cultures? Do people kiss each other on both cheeks in international schools in Europe? Do people bow to each other in international schools in Asia? Plus don’t we usually get to spend 2/3 months of vacation a year in our passport countries? Isn’t that enough to learn from our passport culture. Yes culture shock may be the fact that we go from 2 drivers and 3 maids to cooking dinner all by ourselves and taking the subway, and in some cases the fact that we no longer are the guy with the funny face walking in the street(but then I think we’re usually relieved that we no longer have to speak sign language when we argue with shop owners). Non-TCKs also go though the transition between mommy cooking dinner and TV dinner…

4) We are rejected by people in college

I’ve met tons of people who have a tough time in college the first couple of months. They all come from different cities or countries, have their different accents but they still make friends after a while. They all left their girlfriends, their high school memories… and forget about them after a few months and get moving with their lives. The thing is that we have a superiority complex: we lived abroad so people should look up on us. Would you listen to the childhood memories of a guy from Austin, Texas. The thing is that the most annoying people tend to be those from “Noo York” who constantly bring up their stories about how great life was back in the city. That’s sort of how we are, except that we tend to mention Paris, Moscow, Nairobi or whatever tropic location we were in, and as much as you wouldn’t care about the guy from Austin, TX’s life, people don’t care about Nairobi and find it annoying when we bring it up in class (we always have counter examples for what the teacher says because things in Nairobi were different, but so was it for the guy from NY or Austin). And I bet the guy from Austin also wished people listened to stories about how big his ranch was.

Does anyone feel the same way?

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I started imagine that if I meet any of you in real life

Maybe we would be both too self-protective that we would NOT start sharing TCKness.

I had met quite a few TCKs in life, but I never get to know them for real, especially those from different passport country as me.

Maybe bc I was younger and back then hasn’t heard of the term yet. (The term= TCK)

For examle, I’ve known some Europeans in an American school in Latin America. (I’m Asian)

We were both “minority” there. Since 80% were Latinos (Mostly from that country we were in. In other words, “locals”)

The TCKs I met back then were quite reserve even in front of other TCKs (especially when from different passport country)

Nobody bring up the TCK topic… And no one wanted to confess that they don’t quite fit in with the locals….

Do u guys think that “we”… are more open on the internet? Especially bc we know that there is a less (not zero either= =) percent of possibility that we’d be hurt here on TCKID?

Bc I did start imagine how it’d all be if I do meet all of u “first” in real life!!!

Maybe, I confess… I would see u as a “foreigner” first (if ur not a TCK from my passport country) and THEN, maybe, I would see u same as me, a TCK, after all…………………..

Be honest, how about u guys? Try to imagine……….

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Hidden immigrant

Foreigner

Adopted

Mirror

Which is the hardest and why?

Which is the least hard and why?

Please list the four!!!!

Analyze well b4 answering!!!

THX!

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