Ask Uncle!
Have you ever had any questions concerning your TCK-ness? Everyone has, and everyone wants answers. Now here’s a place where you might just find some.
Uncle Dan is infamously one of the longer running forum participants in the Facebook Group “Third Culture Kids Everywhere,” ever since he discovered the TCK terminology over a year ago. That experience (and the encouragement of others) has given him a level of insight into the variety of TCKs, as well as the title “Uncle”. He’s responded to hundreds of threads concerning the issues that TCKs regularly encounter, and thinks (with collective agreement) he’s pretty good at it. Is he perfect? Probably not, but at the very least he can offer some insight.
That said, this thread proposes to answer specific questions that TCKs might have concerning their issues in the large world they’re fully aware of.
Please place questions as comments to this thread, and these questions may be answered in new threads. Feel free to comment on these threads to offer your own insights because, as was said, Uncle Dan (despite claims to godliness), is not perfect and highly values every contribution to help another person adjust to life as a TCK.
Thank you, and let the questions roll!
Uncle Dan accepts only measured responsibility for psychological, emotional, or just-plain-psychotic trauma brought about by his advice.
Please send all complaints to Brice, where you will receive a lolcat for your trouble.
January 17th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
HAHAHAHA! Thanks Uncle Dan
Actually I think I am allergic. I found that out the hard way
But I can drink alcohol just not too much, or too fast, or too “hard”…I guess…I still haven’t figure out what is the “right” way for me to drink it.
So far it’s been 3 times that I “broke into hives” after drinking “too much” alcohol. The worst that happened (which lasted a day and I rubbed my boyfriend’s anti-itch cream several times that day like body lotion o.o) was when I was in Taiwan last August. I think I had a relatively light cocktail, a few sips of my boyfriend’s Irish coffee (with Bailey’s or something like that) and a shot of B52 (is that right?). It didn’t JUST happen…I think once my body started processing it reacted (which was like an hour or 2 after I drank those stuff). I was itching like crazy all night and the next day, but not the entire body, only on certain parts. It was UNCOMFORTABLE!
I wasn’t even drunk! I was just itchy
Ever since then I try to avoid hard liquor and anything that would have hard liquor in it. I can have a bottle of beer or a light alcoholic drink…but that’s it. Only one bottle. I am also thinking that instead of getting drunk my body is reacting to it differently. I don’t have a high tolerance for alcohol, I’ll feel a bit dizzy after a small glass of beer (or maybe I just need to get used to it LOL). But with what I had above you’d think I’d be drunk…no, I think my body just reacts differently - it just gets itchy instead of getting drunk LOL
My mom joked that even if I want to be “a partier” I can’t LOL
Ah well, some people just aren’t programmed that way I guess…
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January 18th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
That DOES sound fishy.
I’d check it out with a doctor, just in case. Just to get some kind of official explanation.
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January 19th, 2008 at 12:43 am
I’m a bit allergic to the stuff that’s in the alcohol that’s not alcohol. I can drink more alcohol if it’s vodka or whisky or some distilled stuff. The stuff that’s called hard liquor. It can’t be mixed with anything so no cocktails obviously. No undistlled stuff like beer, wine or cider.
When I had a problem with hives in my 20s it wasn’t alcohol related. What any alcohol did do was to make dormant hives come out to the surface. My dermatologist told me it was because anything that warmed my body would do that. So if hives were waiting to happen, a warm bath, alcohol or being in excessive heat with the wrong clothes on would do it.
We ran RAST to see what I was allergic to and I was negative to every ingredient we did try - including the typical ones like egg, wheat, house dust, shellfish, etc.
Then my mom suggested I change the detergent I was using to wash my clothes to a soap based detergent - and voila! The hives magically disappeared
Everyone’s allergic to different things though, so the best thing you can do is experiment (with a proper control in there).
Sure, visit your dermatologist just in case he can figure it out too…although from my experience, they usually can’t figure out anything that’s not life threatening :S But it also means something to know he can’t figure it out lol
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January 20th, 2008 at 3:55 pm
I just asked you a question.. only I forgot to put it as a comment here. It’s the post called “here we go again…”
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January 21st, 2008 at 9:53 am
I thought I’d never post in this thread asking a question but here goes…lol
Dear Uncle,
I have a serious problem managing friendships with females…especially latin ones. I find some of them too demanding. They expect me to call them all the time even though I haven’t even talked to my own mother in 4 years. When I had financial problems because of a bad tenant who refused to pay rent and ended up with a negative income - I naturally stopped calling people on my phone to save money (because I won’t have a work permit here and working isn’t an option) - and they didn’t seem to understand that it wasn’t anything personal I didn’t call them or take them out to dinner or give them gifts anymore.
Why do women like to talk on the phone so much? I don’t understand them.
I also had another friend who I had a nice relationship with until she broke-up with her boyfriend. Then after that it became rocky for her and me because she became so focused on meeting men. Uncle - I don’t understand why latin women are so obsessed with meeting men. Surely women can live without men? But they insist that every woman needs to have a man! I don’t know how to deal with this uncle! HELP!
Can I get advise on how often I should force myself to call female friends even if I don’t feel like it? What’s a standard number of calls her week or month?
I have no clue, people.
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February 18th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I feel I have to apologize for late-or-lack-of responses lately. It’s been a bit rough and go lately so I’m very sorry. I’ll get to the responses as soon as I can.
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May 6th, 2008 at 2:12 am
Dear Uncle Dan,
I’m new to to TCKid and I already have a question.
I’m 13 years old a TCK and CCK and in the country that we live in, most of the girls my age stay home to help their mothers. How do I relate with others?
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May 6th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Dear Uncle Dan
Is it common for TCK’s upon returing to “home base” to have a 40 year olds view upon young people your one age? I grew up in a less than free socitey and most of my friends were refugees, TCK’s or lets say in short people who have lived lives that forced them to grow up and not be care free. I can seem to communicate with these kids, ive tried but were on completly wave lenghts. Heck i get mistakend as 25 at times!
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May 7th, 2008 at 1:35 am
Dear Uncle Dan,
I have a Friendship problem.
Almost all of them are mostly short-term. It’s fun to chat and email them, but i seem so lonely sometimes. How can i build long-term relationships without ruining them?
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