This is my first post here, though I’ve looked around for quite some time now. I had thought I could make a better intro here instead of speaking up only when needing help, but unfortunately it didn’t work out as I wished.
I’m 29 years old, an ATCK that has lived most of my life in TAIWAN. My parents are both scientists, so during their sabbatical leave, they would work as visiting scientist and take the whole family abroad for one year. I have stayed at Rochester, NY, Ft. Collins, Colorado, and Stockholm, Sweden, at seperate times, and spent my college senior year at UC Davis as and exchange student. It’s really not that much traveling compared to many of you here, however the devastating repatration when I was 11 totally changed my character and personality, so I can relate to most of the topics discussed here. I haven’t met anyone with similiar experience in Taiwan, and became rather introverted and lonely after coming back from Colorado.
I’m suffering some degree depression that comes periodically with PMS. It’s probably due to my intervertedness (which I consider a part of my TCKness), but a non-TCK friend once said that she thinks I’m taking TCK as an excuse. Have anyone felt the same way, too? Or is it a common response from the Asain culture or non-TCKs? I’m pondering whether to seek medical help or not, because it had all begun during repatration, only nobody noticed it. After being able to cope with it for so many years alone, I just don’t see the point when the worst time has gone by. People are shocked only because I’m just beginning to open up, and they have never saw this hidden part of me before. If being a TCK is an excuse, isn’t anti-depression medication only another excuse for non-TCK’s unwillingness to be open-minded?
Ok ,ok , I admit maybe I’m just ranting. But it really makes me mad thinking how unfair it is with all the efforts I have to put-in to cope with cultural problems, all alone and hidden, while most people around, my family, etc., just takes the smooth transition for granted and think it is easy. Now once in a while I just can’t help pushing non-TCKs to be more understanding, the same way the culture here demanded me to be in order to survive. And many times I just can’t help being mad if they can’t show the same open-mindedness that I was forced to have while growing up.
Does this mean I’m not truly open-minded after all, because I’m trying to ask non-TCKs to do the same thing as a return? Maybe it is a form of saying “I need support”, a form sort of saying that I want someone to see those past tough times and recognize my effort for achieving a smooth adjustment. I never realize how proud of myself I am for this. But I am and have been very much. So when someone my compliments my English ability as a non-native speaker, I actually feel delighted not by the compliment itself, but by the ability to adjust into different cultures quickly. I think I’m proud of it the same way non-TCKs would be proud of the achievement of their country. It is because I have survived through the painful moments and I take the ability aquired as a trophy for the experience.
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